ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Fart Pads Fart Filter

Updated on June 30, 2014

Fart Pads and Fart Filters

Fart Pads and Fart Filters: We have all been there. Even if you are not willing to admit it. Flatulence does not care if your last meal is not agreeing with you while you are on a blind date. Nor does it care if you are in class sitting right next to your crush.

Sure, you could try to sort of ease it out without a sound. Perhaps a little bit at a time. Everyone knows about the 1 cheek sneak.

But it is not only the noise that makes it taboo, it's mostly the god awful smell!

Thankfully, someone has come up with a solution to this problem. They invented a filter for your behind, so you can leave your farts behind.

I have a dream, that one day, all cab drivers will own and use fart filters.

I have a dream, that in the future, it will not be only girls who "never fart" (seemingly). Of course all married men know the truth to that one, but I digress....

I have a dream, that airlines will hand these out to all passengers before each trip.

Yes I have a dream, that fart filters will move away from being just a funny internet joke that gets shared,tweeted, stumbled, and pinned. And move steadfast into commonplace, where we can all live in a pungent free and smelly-fart free world.

Subtle Butt Fart Pads

Subtle Butt: disposable gas neutralizers (5 saving graces)
Subtle Butt: disposable gas neutralizers (5 saving graces)

Pack of 5 "Fart Pads" or "Fart Filters". Discreet, nobody will know you are wearing them. Simply peel back the adhesive, and apply directly on the inside of your underwear. They shouldn't do any damage to your clothing when they come back out. Safe for pets as well.

 

Flat D Fart Pads

Flat D Flatulence Deodorizing Pad: No More Smelly Embarrassing Gas
Flat D Flatulence Deodorizing Pad: No More Smelly Embarrassing Gas

Discreet and hidden. These fart pads are a little more "anatomically correct" so to speak. The big end goes you know where. Comes with 2 sided adhesive and instructions. It's not rocket science though. Apply 1 fart pad directly to your underwear, then go ahead and finish that can of beans. Fart Pads aka Fart filters, are thin pads made from a charcoal material that filters out the stink. I don't think it does much for sound though. I will let you know if I come across a fart silencer anywhere. These products are apparently safe to use on your dog. Not sure how that works exactly. You tell me.

These particular fart pads can be washed and re-used several times. Which at first, when I learned that fact, it totally grossed me out. But then I realized, we all wash our regular underwear all the time anyway, and we fart like mad into those.

 

Just in case it wasn't a fart.

A fart can be filtered, but sometimes, it's more than just wind. The Boy Scouts have said for years that you should "Always Be Prepared". You never know!

Accoutrements Emergency Underpants
Accoutrements Emergency Underpants

You never know when you will need these.

 
Accoutrements Emergency Underpants Dispenser
Accoutrements Emergency Underpants Dispenser

A handy dispenser for emergency underpants.

 
The Underwear Repair Kit: Fix it on the Fly
The Underwear Repair Kit: Fix it on the Fly

Maybe it will be so bad that you need a pit stop and a repair.

 

What was your most embarrassingly timed fart?

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • tophatpro profile image

      tophatpro 4 years ago

      Lol I'd never heard if this before! Too funny!

    • Kaylab123 LM profile image

      Kaylab123 LM 4 years ago

      Oh this is too funny! And honestly, it's highly relevant, because, um, we ALL fart!!! :) And also, I had no idea there were so many awesome products out there to help contain the smell of farts. Haha. The things you learn here on Squidoo!

    • silla lm profile image

      silla lm 4 years ago

      Lol, I didn't know such things existed. I love the Chair Pad Filter - you can get one for all your kitchen chairs and guests will think they're just pillows!

    • merfzel profile image

      merfzel 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      Hilarious... I love this lens! Thanks for liking my Atlanta lens!

    • capritaylor profile image

      capritaylor 4 years ago from Oklahoma, United States

      The picture of the little girl holding her nose is priceless. Thanks for making me laugh so hard! Elevators also deserve an honorable mention, on your list of really unfortunate places to be stuck on.

    • akurtzd profile image

      akurtzd 4 years ago

      Great lens, too funny!

    • Greathaul2013 profile image

      Greathaul2013 4 years ago

      Damn I could have used these today.

    • profile image

      yoheb15 5 years ago

      This is hilarious but a great idea too. Loved this idea for a lens, nice one!

    • iwrite100 profile image

      Maribel Forayo 5 years ago from Philippines

      may your dream come true.........lol

    • hntrssthmpsn profile image

      hntrssthmpsn 5 years ago

      Love your "dreams" of a more civilized world... and some of the fart products you've featured here are a hoot... or maybe a breath of fresh air ;)

    • themanlycat profile image

      themanlycat 5 years ago

      I think my cat needs this!!!!!

    • WriterJanis2 profile image

      WriterJanis2 5 years ago

      This is actually a really good idea.

    • weirdproduct profile image
      Author

      weirdproduct 5 years ago

      @CozyKitty: Haha, maybe we need to start a petition for the airlines. So far we have your signature and mine.

    • CozyKitty profile image

      CozyKitty 5 years ago

      Omg - this is so funny but true! We used to call the noiseless ones "silent but deadly." And YES to airlines handing them out - I was stuck next to the worst offender ever on a seemingly endless flight once. P.U.!!!

      Thanks for the laughs :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)