5 Minutes before I get Aborted

My dearest mommy-to-be, please listen to me. What have I done to you?

I have been with for this very short period of my existence and I am aware of all the terrible things that have been going through your mind concerning whether to let me be or not.

Unfortunately for both of us, most especially me because even though you know that you are going to feel the physical pain for a while I will be feeling the greatest pain of being physically attacked even though I am so defenseless and I will be cut to pieces, destroyed and flushed out of your system, I can see that you have reached the point of no return where you have decided to get rid of me.

That is the reason why we are now in this neat hospital with all these pretty nurses hanging around. But let me see I can still change your mind before the next five minutes…

I have tried times without number to convince and make you change your mind before. Doing that was not hard for me because even though you seem to have forgotten and you are now considering me as just one of your problem, the two of us are still one.

I have been keeping record of the number of times you have referred to me as a mistake but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I know that it is not entirely your fault that things turned out this way. Poppa has also a very big part to play in this whole sordid business of a mistake which I am.

Did he trick you into the relationship? Did he make you fall falsely in love with him only to abandon you when he saw the result of his consummating passion which happens to be me? Did he tell you that he wasn’t ready to take up this responsibility?

Oh now I see, it wasn’t only the problem of what Poppa did or didn’t do, the society also have trained their prying eye on you. I know you have been thinking about what they will say when they ‘happily’ see you falling from grace to grass as I continue to grow everyday until the day I finally pop out. You will never appear as that saintly, naive and innocent choir girl they use to know, so you just have to go through this…for your own sake?

I understand all that but let me ask you this same question I have asking you all these while my dearest Mommy-to-be, why have you decided to take it out all on me? Was it my fault that I happened?

Wait a minute…the problem is not only that?

Grand poppa and grand momma are also involved, am I right? Did they say they were not going to sanction the marriage between you and poppa? And just when you and poppa decided to go all the way without minding what they think or say or even do, the man abandoned you?

So now you are between and betwixt, trapped between here and there. You cannot be a struggling single mom because I will definitely be getting in the way most of the time. I will interfere with your academics, I will interfere with your job and I may even hamper your chances of marrying in the future assuming you find another man who is going to treat you with so much love because most men don’t want to take care of another man’s mistake but mommy, don’t you see the problem with that type of thinking? It pains me to tell you this but the truth is that you are only thinking about yourself! You know that’s very selfish of you?

What about me?

Why can’t I have the same opportunity like that given to both of you by my two grand mommas…the opportunity to be born…the opportunity to live and breathe the air out there even if it is going to be for just a second? Why do you think my coming will only bring troubles alone? Have you ever bothered to look on the brighter side? You don’t even know if I am a boy or a girl?

You are only consumed with the thoughts of the problem upon problems you are thinking I am surely going to bring along?

Have you thought about the joyful moments when you will carry me in your hands and feel that very joy every other mom say is one of the ultimate joys of motherhood? Have you given any thought about who is going to take care of you and protect you in your old age when you are completely unable to help yourself in so many ways?

Who do you think will be happily running all those small errands for you while keeping you company and providing you with the warmth and fun with the little children tricks I have been learning and hoping to use, if only you allow me?

Don’t you want to know if I will grow up and make you popular just like that rapper Tupac did for his own mom who was even in a direr situation than your own now? Don’t you want me to try my own luck in achieving the American dream or something like that by becoming as rich as that young guy Mark who originated that world changing facebook of a thing? Don’t you want to have a shot at being the mother of a Nobel Peace Prize winner like that remarkable first black President of the US of A?

Momma, have you ever considered the fact that it is actually your fear that is pushing you around even up to this little hospital? Do you know that most of those ugly things you are afraid of might never happen?

Momma, if you are thinking about who is going to take care of me in case you can’t, I have a suggestion to make. There are many pro-life centers scattered all over the country waiting for us. You can even leave me in a motherless baby’s home, I wouldn’t mind at all, I will understand. I know you don’t want to be a teenage single parent and you want to avoid all those problems that could come but you must also know that I just don’t want to die?

Come to think of it momma, you think you are the only one who’s got nothing to loose if you loose me?

Let me remind you of these very facts. First, I know I will go but your womb could go in the process too. I know I will feel the excruciating pain but you may not know it but I have been prepping myself up for that since the very moment I felt it through your blood running in my veins that I will be erased but let me tell you something…You will feel the pain too.

Mine will only last for a few moments and I will be gone but yours will last for eternity until you come and join my where I am going. You will be physically battered and the pain will last for a while. It is not even only about the physical pain, you will also face the psychological pangs and moral pains too. And you will feel the shame.

You will feel the regret and the distrust for a long time to come, I can assure you that! What if this your womb gets permanently damaged in the process? What if you even die? Oh, maybe you thought you have got that figured out but you know you can’t fool us because it is a very possible possibility!

Oh, my God. Momma, I am going to kick you now just to drum these facts into that your thick skull.

Kick! Kick! Kick! Yes…how does that feel?

I purposely kicked thrice. I wanted to continue but I can now that this beautiful nurse is already coming this way. She will soon signal for you to come so that my elimination process can get under way but momma, think about it this one very last time. I know it is your decision and your life but please…please…please…allow me this chance to prove to you how great, how intelligent, how supportive and above all how loving a child I am going to be to you and the whole world. I promise I won’t disappoint you…and poppa too.

Momma, you are now standing up...?

Don’t tell me you are going to answer to her summon? Stop looking at her that way! You think she understands because she is looking at you that way but believe me when I tell you that she is just going through the motions like she has done to many girls before you! I bet, she is thinking right now what a big fool you have been to have got yourself knocked up! Momma, see the other door at your right and take it now while you still have the chance? Where are going? No…no…no…don’t tell me you are that heartless?!

Anyway let me resign to my fate after all like you all think, I am nothing but a mistake!