- Mental Health»
How to forgive the people you hate the most
learn how to forgive
First off, I wanted to name this hub “forgiving the people you hate the most” because it really revolves around that and forgiving yet i do not like the word "hate" and do not use that word myself and actually teach my grand kid's not to either but it is what it is here and i think it fits so i felt i needed to use it.
Some kid's are born into hard times and terrible difficulties. Some kid's have undesirable parent's. Some kid's are given to foster care. some kid's are left out in the cold. Some kid's are beaten everyday. Some kid's are thrown in the garbage dumpster. Some kid's are taught to drink and use drug's. Some kid's are taught to fight the hard way. Some kid's run away. Some kid's fall off the face of the earth. Some kid's are tortured in the basement. Some kid's are sexually abused.
Unfortunately we live in a world where there are a lot of wrong doing's going on and a lot of the kid's growing up have to take the abuse from the angry. troubled person or people who is supposed to be guiding them, protecting them, and teaching them right from wrong.
We see this kind of stuff every day on the news and internet of what has happened to yet another child. Also there are a lot of kid's who grow up and who do not even tell their story of what has happened to them.
A very high percentage of these kid's grow up with out saying a word to anyone because they are so afraid of what will happen to them if they talk about it. So what happens is that these kid's continue to grow and end up carrying a lot of mixed emotions of guilt, shame and anger. This all gets built up and they generally end up hating the world and the people in it and god too because he has let this happen to them. So they become very negative, insecure, violent and angry people who are out to prove a point and get revenge with anyone or anything who is in their way if it's the last thing they do.
I feel sorry for all the kid's in this world who do not have the opportunity to get better because really all it is, is as simple as a forgiveness for most. Some people might actually need to get some professional help as well like the one's who have been terribly tortured or sexually abused or anything as painful as those. But for a lot it is just learning how to forgive.
If people could just forgive another person, the world might not have as many troubles as it does. It is just that some people do not know that forgiveness is the KEY to all their troubles.
They do not realize that there are so many ways to forgive someone and that they do not even have to like the person, talk to the person or even see the person in order to forgive them. There are also so many reasons to forgive these people they are mad at.
If you take it upon yourself to forgive the people that wronged you, then automatically all that guilt, shame, mixed emotions and built up anger just seems to go away, it is gone, you do not carry all of this stuff around on your shoulder's anymore and you are free from all of it. You are free to be happy and make the right choices in life. You are free from bondage of yourself. This takes away all that pain you had for all that time. And you used drugs and alcohol to cover up the pain, this is what is really going on. Anyone can be free of all of this if they would just learn how to forgive what has happened to them.
Some ways you can forgive and free yourself are listed here and these do work, it is proven. Just try it for yourself and you will see.
Write a letter
Try writing a letter as long as you want it to be and as expressive as you want it to be. Just write and tell whoever it is that you forgive them and wish to have no further contact with them(if that is the case of course). After you finish the letter, you can keep it and tuck it away somewhere or you can have a bon fire, light the letter on fire and watch it burn up to nothing.
Keep a journal
Start writing in a journal and write down all of your thoughts. Even thoughts from the past on how you feel, what it did to you, how you are, and where your life is today. It always helps to keep a journal and write everything down as you feel it.
See a Counselor
Some people actually need to see a counselor because of the severe damage it had caused them in their life and that is understandable. It is a great feeling to be able to see a counselor and tell a complete stranger all your troubles. There are some free one's out there and there are also groups that have free classes that help with any certain situation, this helps a lot because you identify with others and are able to talk openly about things that are otherwise hard to talk openly about.
Try a little prayer and ask god to help you remove all your anger and frustration and hatred you have built up, he will come in and help you live again if you give him half the chance.
Do not forget to talk about the situation or situations that have made you a very angry person because talking is just as good as anything else here, you need to be able to talk about whatever it is that is bothering you, you cannot keep these things bottled up inside of you, this is how anger and frustration and other negative emotions get a big build up. We do not need to get into any big build up and blow up on someone else or blow up and tale it out on the rest of the world just because we are mad somebody else.
There is also the choice of attending 12 step groups. These are actually very good at breaking down all the hurts from the past and work on getting a person to feel better about life and about themselves.
We need to be able to handle things respectfully and grown up like. This is the way we need to teach our children. Our children are our future and we only want the best for them in everything they do, we only want to see them happy and they do deserve it.
So next time you feel mad or if you are carrying any anger around at all, try one of these method's. It just might work for you. I hope our country calms down with all that abuse going around. It does not feel good. We do not need it or want it.