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How to accept yourself

Updated on May 3, 2012


We all live in an ever-changing world where everyone around us seems to be rushing around at 90 miles per hour. Sometimes you may feel that life is moving on, but you can't. Emotions from past experiences can get in the way of living your life. This is more common than you may think, and many of us feel like this at some point in our lives. It's as though past feelings or events prevent us from moving forward and taking control. Negative thoughts and emotions must be identified and turned into a positive.


Negative emotions

There are many negative feelings that may feel like a barrier and prevent the new you from emerging. I have listed some of these, which you may be able to identify with:

  • sadness
  • anger
  • fear
  • stress
  • revenge
  • worry
  • stress
  • hopelessness
  • failure
  • envy
  • ashamed
  • embarrassed
  • humiliated
  • worthless
  • judged
  • lonely
  • trapped
  • violated
  • abandoned

The first step is to begin to acknowledge them and begin the process of breaking them down in order to deal with them. There may be an underlying cause.


You may wake up each morning feeling bitter and angry. There could be some deep-rooted cause for feeling this way. You could be feeling angry towards your wife/husband/partner because there was a messy break up. There needs to be time to adjust to life without him/her, and when you are ready, you need to accept that it didn't work out. Taking a positive from a situation like this is difficult to do, but the old adage that "time heals all wounds" really is true in cases of this nature. Moving on and adopting a positive attitude could be the fact that if you hadn't met your partner, you would never have had your children or have shared so many happy memories.

What is self-acceptance

It's all about letting go of the fear which is behind the negative emotion that you are feeling, and being honest with yourself. Throughout our lives, we will have good times and bad. We may feel at times that life has dealt us a bad hand, but it's how we get through it that makes us who we are.

Acceptance and the truth

Be honest with those around you, and in turn you will be honest with yourself. Talk openly with someone you can trust - a friend, colleague, family member or a counselor. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Accepting yourself for who you are takes time, honesty and confidence. Much of the problems come about from us worrying what others think. None of us like to be unfairly judged and we all want to be seen to be coping and doing the right thing.

Believe in yourself

Accept that you are not perfect, but don't beat yourself up over what you can't control or change. Having recurring negative thoughts can get you down and make you feel even worse. Try to replace them with happy, positive thoughts which have the opposite effect - think about what you do well.

Try not to worry as this will achieve nothing, come up with another solution, and if you can't and it's out of your control, learn to deal with it. Stop being so hard on yourself and start believing in you. Don't dwell on past mistakes, focus on the future and what you can achieve.

Believe in yourself and accept who you are.
Believe in yourself and accept who you are. | Source

Inspirational Quotes

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.
James Baldwin
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan
Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out.
Art Linkletter


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    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      @ Minnetonka Twin - Happy New Year. I agree totally with what you say, it's about how we deal with life's obstacles that determine how we can move on. Thanks so much for stopping by and for your lovely comment.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Happy New Year jacqui and thanks for the inspirational hub. We all have baggage and it's all in how we deal with it. Great information here and perfect reading for the new year.

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      Hi Movie Master, Happy New Year to you too. I am a worry guts too. It's lovely to hear from you. I hope 2012 sees all your dreams come true. Thanks for reading and for the vote up. Jacqui.x

    • Movie Master profile image

      Movie Master 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi Jacqui and a Happy New Year to you.

      I must be the worlds worse worrier and I am heading for 60 and I still find it hard to believe in myself!

      Your article is so positive and inspirational, thank you for sharing, I am bookmarking to read again, voting up.

      Best wishes MM

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      @ kimh039 - It is liberating to finally accept ourselves for who we are. There is no point dwelling on what we can't do, but concentrate on what we can do or change in the future. Thank you for commenting.

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      @ Sam Elutilo - Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my article. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • jacqui2011 profile image

      jacqui2011 6 years ago from Norfolk, UK

      @ zzron - Thanks for your comments. Sometimes, as in my case, it takes a while to build up self-confidence to be able to move on. I'm 46 now, but it took me until my late thirties to have confidence in myself. Best wishes for the New Year.

    • kimh039 profile image

      Kim Harris 6 years ago

      It's so liberating when we can accept ourselves as imperfect. Thanks for the reminder jacqui2011.

    • Sam Elutilo profile image

      Sam Elutilo 6 years ago from Wallington, United Kingdom

      Very positive and inspiring article.

    • zzron profile image

      zzron 6 years ago from Houston, TX.

      Very positive and inspirational. More people need to believe in their self and develop the self-confidence that is needed to achieve their goals.