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Rants and the Twisted Thoughts of St.James

Updated on March 29, 2011

"Masochism Tango" by Tom Lehrer

Speak up! Let the world hear you

"CLERKS" starring The Peanuts

Women taking men underwear shopping

Today's topic is one of mixed emotions. I believe I speak for an unheard majority on this subject. This is my take on the subject, and while many of you out there feel the same way, you fear to speak up due to the fact that you are affraid that you might cut off your "Line of Nookie" if you know what I mean.

Gals, while you think it is fun and sexy to take your man with you underwear shopping. Let me tell you this much, we are bored to death. First you walk around the same rack, like 5 times. Then you circle around 2 more racks just to come back to the rack you first circled 5 times. During this time you have avoided the floor salesperson who sees that we are in pain. All they can do is give us that "you poor bastard salesperson smirk." By now we have already lost about half a football game.

When you have finally found two things to try on, you go to the dressing room which for us should be the big pay off moment, but you have to go in by yourself, because for some reason other women in the other dressing rooms in various states of undress. Are affraid that we will either ask them if they need help, an opinion, or if they would like to join in. Anyway this going in to try on 2 articals of clothing, which takes you around 45 minutes to do. Is the most ackward time for us guys. We stand there (sometimes holding your purse) in the middle of a women underwear shop, trying to not look like some desparate prevert as women come walking out of the try-on area faning eye contact and giving us that same smirk that the salesperson gave us. While we try to look cool by lean against a rack. Hoping quietly it's you finally coming out of the back. When you finally do come out of the dressing area. What normally happens is you walk out with nothing in your hands, which means your not going to by anything.

I have figured out that what you are doing is testing us. To see if we with stand out there and wait or if we'll run into the electronics store to catch the score.

Why I am conflicted about this subject, is that like any other man I love to see the underwear catalogs come in the mail. First of all those women don't take 2 hours of our time, to try on the bra and panties, plus on one page there are 4 different women. Truthfully I can only speak for myself, but I don't care wheather your bra and panties match, or the style of said underwear. Truthfully I prefer women who don't like to wear underwear. Let's keep it uncomplicated, and find more interesting way to send that time lost in the black hole known as the women's underwear shop.

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  • SunSeven profile image

    SunSeven 10 years ago from Singapore / India

    I can see that you have already started feeling better. Have a great day.

    Best Regards