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Keep Loving a Psychopath or a Sociopath?

Updated on September 9, 2015

Keep surrounding yourself with the wrong people?

Have you ever fallen in love with a powerfully charismatic man or woman, and then had your life completely torn apart? Were the relationships you had with family, co-workers, and friends destroyed? Were you left with no money, no home, and/or crippling debt?

Hate to be the one to tell you, but it's extremely possible that you were involved with a psychopath/sociopath.

Psychiatrists say there are lots of them in our society. Chances are you know one. We have an idea from the movies, that sociopaths or psychopaths are serial killers, but that isn't a good description, although they can get into some serious trouble with authority.

They often have very high IQ's and are typically charming, entertaining, witty, and VERY exciting, at least at first. They know exactly how to manipulate people, and can go undetected unless you are personally involved.

According to statistics from the American Psychiatric Association, three out of 100 males are sociopaths. That means three out of five people classify as a sociopath and as many as 15 to 25 percent of prison inmates are sociopathic.

They do not think anything is wrong with them. They often serve as leaders or people of prominence because of their intelligence and charisma.

But their brains function differently. Some psychiatrists use the term cortical under-arousal. Whatever it is, a sociopath doesn't feel emotions, but can mimic them. Because of this, they need constant stimulation from thrills and conquests.

For a sociopath or psychopath, to love, is to destroy.

There is no cure, and all the experts advise: Get away!

You may not think, as your life is being torn apart, that you've hooked up with a sociopath or psychopath.

All you know, once it's over (if you're one of the lucky ones that gets out) is that you just want to hide at home for the rest of your life. You'll never love again.

Then, after all that drama, you're lonely. Maybe you start to read some books on "attracting a man" or "how to attract a woman."

Maybe you go through therapy. Maybe you join a church.


So let this site serve as a warning:

People who attract one sociopath are then prone to attracting another. And another.

Don't ask me how I know.

The question is WHY.

And here's the answer:

We're energetic beings, and actually operate much like computers...When we have a crisis, we download new software with a program that energetically vibrates with that particular kind of crisis.

The more traumatic the crisis, the more our vibration is affected.

That's right. We have software just like a man-made computer. In the human software system it's called DNA. DNA changes all the time, based on our environment. Our environment is constantly downloading new software into our system.

And then of course we have all the software of our ancestors. That automatically is loaded on our DNA.

We unconsciously follow these downloads because we aren't aware of how our system really works.

They create a vibration in our energy field that acts as a magnet and attracts more of the same-- often what you fear most into your life. This effects every area of our life-- your physical health, finances, etc., that's why the poor get poorer the rich get richer, etc.

Haven't you seen people who hook up with one bad relationship after another? It's not because they enjoy the pain! It's their vibration, which is set up by their "software". They are just following their "program".

Now you know.

So now you can fix it. You just had to understand how the system works.

First, you must stop talking about it. Stop complaining about it. Emphasis on MUST.

If it's become your "story", you have to say THE END, unless you like playing the victim role.

Each time you re-live the experience, it's another download. Our words and thoughts are powerful programming. That's why you keep re-creating it.

Also, there is technology that may help you repair the vibrational damage that's occurred from this trauma. (However, if you don't stop talking and complaining, nothing will ever help!)

Watch this video!

I, Psychopath - part 1

I, Psychopath - part 2

I, Psychopath - part 3

I, Psychopath - part4

I, Psychopath - part 5

I, Psychopath - part 6

I, Psychopath - part 7

If you are about to be swept off your feet and you have a track record of attracting this kind of person, well, you decide.

Here's my personal warning signs-- no special order--and, remember, there is the "true sociopath" and then those who just have some characteristics. Regardless, if I see any of these items, the trail of dust you see will be mine.

1. Creates alter egos or identities. A sociopath can put together a different persona depending on who he or she is trying to manipulate, sometimes right down to being clever enough to fabricate credentials. Better check them out!

2. Tall tales: they have some fascinating stories.. So he says he worked undercover for the CIA? Owned a big business, was a multimillionaire, but lost it? Can fix anything? Could have been a pro athlete? Usually wants to rush a commitment before there's a chance to learn any details.

3. Moods change rapidly-- there are outbursts that make no sense. Soon you are the target of these outbursts, with your humiliation being the goal.

4. Tries to isolate you. Fires your personal assistant, if you have one. Alienates your friends and family. Takes your keys and credit cards. Intercepts your mail. Answers your phone.

5. You don't meet any friends and he or she is alienated from their own family. Doesn't want you to meet them.

6. Needs thrills-- there's verbal or physical abuse, promiscuity, gambling or drug abuse, repeated fights or assaults. (They somehow manage to get your pity over this.)

7. Prison record (people can change, but not a sociopath. There is no cure for this disorder so if they've done time-- remember your track record.)

8. Consistent irresponsibility, yet amazing entitlement. Your possessions become theirs; you know this drill already.

And just a note- psychopaths don't have a very good sense of smell. Seriously!

Guestbook Comments

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    • profile image

      Tamara Moore 

      3 years ago

      Thank you! I appreciate this article of yours as I have been ensnared by such. I write Rhyming Poems, and short articles, about Narcissists and Sociopaths. I hope I see more of your work to encourage me on my path of healing, and making better choices for myself.

    • checkyourvibe profile imageAUTHOR

      Cathy Slaght 

      7 years ago from St. Petersburg, Fl

      @russia-hardy: Thanks for commenting! Lately I've been wondering if the very obvious increase in sociopatic/psychopathic behavior might be related to the increase in processed/GMO foods. Something to think about-

      Subject: Squidoo: You have new comments!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I dated at least 4 sociopaths.....does make it hard to recognize good i am dealing with a sociopathic girl in one of my acting classes......she has homed in on me and has tried to ruin my reputation so as to block me from getting acting jobs......sad to see another human so lost i deal is i see her as an abused child and trust that as i grow in awareness she and those like her will move on

    • JJNW profile image


      8 years ago from USA

      Thank you for speaking out. This is important information for people to understand.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I too was a victim of a psychopath. Four years of agony and eight years of recovery. A form of relief and healing was found by writing my story in a 460 page book titled

      The Rusty Virgin. This book is available as an ebook from my website.

      past lives and astrology are some f the books topics

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      WOW ! I thought there was something wrong with the guy ive been with for the past 9 1/2 years all he took me for is a fool . I gave him the boot on sept 35 2012he had gambled his cheques away for 2 months and has secret women all over the place but he came on like a light and left with the lightning rod where it counts and he has already moved in with his new victim ,,,good luck to them and she has kids

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      be coooool

    • siobhanryan profile image


      8 years ago

      Bullseye- Brillant--Being there

    • WriterJanis2 profile image


      8 years ago

      Wow! Very well done.

    • winter aconite profile image

      winter aconite 

      8 years ago

      Spot on...I've been there, and yes all the signs were there, just couldn't read him at the time. If I knew then what I know now.......

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      You know, I don't think I want to love a psychopath or sociopath, but it seems that I was married to a guy a lot of years ago who seems to fall into one if not both of those categories! I should have known better. But, I guess we live and learn and then move on and try to make positive choices for ourselves.

    • christine616 profile image


      8 years ago

      Wow. I saw a lot of similar traits here that was in a man I dated off and on a long time ago, and after researching, I dubbed him as a psychological liar. Shortly after we parted he ended up in politics! Ugg.

      Thanks for visiting my lens, checkyourvibe! I like all of your topics!

    • checkyourvibe profile imageAUTHOR

      Cathy Slaght 

      8 years ago from St. Petersburg, Fl

      @christine616: thanks also for your visit! And yes, i fear we have a few politiians that fit the profile of the psychopath- :(

    • checkyourvibe profile imageAUTHOR

      Cathy Slaght 

      8 years ago from St. Petersburg, Fl

      @girlfriendfactory: Thanks so much! And yes, I've been careful ever since too-

    • girlfriendfactory profile image


      8 years ago

      I was very lucky and only married the one psychopath but possibly would have married a second. I have been very careful since because I was never involved with anyone like that prior to being married and it was very unusual because neither of them were abusive physically to me nor tried to isolate me from my friends or family, but many of the other warning signs were present as you saw on my lens. Smooth operator is the term that comes to mind because I met the family and friends and they were all very fond of my ex. He was quite popular and not really very smart, just determined to get what he wanted and extremely delusional.

      This terrific lens is more than worthy of a Flyby Winging and it can be found among the other blessed lenses for today at Have Wings Will Bless More! They may call me an aimless wanderer, but not all who wander are aimless and I'm glad my aim was good when I wandered upon this. ~Ren

    • JodiFromFlorida profile image


      8 years ago

      Very interesting lens.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Thank you for posting! awesome lens!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Nice post! thumbs up!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      vegy nice lens! well done!

    • Karli McClane profile image

      Karli McClane 

      9 years ago from USA

      Great lens!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      There are many people that keep surrounding themselves with the same bad behavior. There are many signs when people are not quite right and we need to be in tune with the signals and protect ourselves!

      Great lens and hope that what you posted here resonates with those who read it!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I like the video you posted here. I listened to it from beginning to end. Interesting to hear that we are living in such a sociopathic and narcissist society that fosters and glorifies this type of behavior...

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Um, this profile fits our politicians!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      It's really scary. But I know some people who fit this profile.

    • Sara Krentz profile image

      Sara Krentz 

      9 years ago from USA

      You've shared some very accurate and helpful information here.

    • TriviaChamp profile image


      9 years ago

      Wow! I found this lens to be very interesting. Well written as well. Blessed.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I wished I knew this years ago. I would have saved myself from knowing one.


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