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Life After Your Life Partner Dies

Updated on March 12, 2016
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Jan T Urquhart Baillie has many sides to her personality, born out of a difficult life, and success due to her optimism and practical skills


Accept help to get back to life again after loss

Your life partner has died, and you don't know which way to walk. You put one foot in front of the other, but you can't seem to get anywhere.

I was like that for a long time, then...

The best advice I got was to accept help. I am a giver, not a receiver, but I had to learn to do just that:

Accept help

You have the resources to help you - get back on the bus

Try them, you will be surprised.

  • your friends
  • your family
  • online resources
  • the library
  • your doctor
  • your church

Plant a garden, or just one plant - Watching something grow will remind you to be alive

Watch the garden grow
Watch the garden grow

We can do anything we want, as long as we stick to it long enough.

- Helen Keller

Watch the garden grow
Watch the garden grow

Take yourself to the beauty parlour

(even if you're male)

Go and have a facial, or a massage.

Try a new hairstyle.

Get your nails done. (Yes, sir, you too!)

The pampering will make you feel special again.

Life is changed

not ended!

Learn to live again...

— Unknown

Watch and be inspired - on YouTube

The book
The book

An amusing story


I went to the doctor's a few weeks after Paul was killed.

She asked me if I had any problems, and I told her a few things.

She said, "Anything else worrying you?"

I said, "No. It's silly."

"Tell me."

"I'm worried I'll never have sex again."

"I know you and Paul had a very vigorous sex life. Here's a book that will help."

I tool the book and began to read.

An eighty year-old woman had exactly the same problem! I laughed out loud and decided I was normal. Got my perspective back.

A truly helpful book - get your copy at Amazon

When Your Partner Dies: Stories of Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands
When Your Partner Dies: Stories of Women Who Have Lost Their Husbands
I read and re-read this book when my last husband was killed. It is poignant and amusing and I found great solace in the pages.

When people told me

I'd never make it,

I listened to the one person

who said I could: me

— Shannon Sharpe

Butterflies are a symbol of new life - adopt one as your talisman

The story of a love is not important. What is important is that one is capable of love. It is perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

— Helen Hayes

Deconstructing, and Reimagining your life

make an altered book

Use the techniques in the book below to reinvent yourself.

Make an altered book to show where you've come from, and where you are headed.

You can add to it whenever you want to change direction.

Alter a book like your life is altered - Buy your copy on Amazon

Playing with Books: The Art of Upcycling, Deconstructing, and Reimagining the Book
Playing with Books: The Art of Upcycling, Deconstructing, and Reimagining the Book
Make a beautiful piece of art to work through your grief that your life is altered forever. Rejoice in the opportunity to reimagine your life as you alter an old book.

Over every high mountain there is a path, though it may not be visible from the valley - Unknown

Walk in the natural world - and find yourself again

Serenity | Source

Start wearing colourful clothes

even if you don't feel like it

You will be looking brighter and people will respond to that.

If you look drab, you'll feel drab.

Browse through the family photos

and make a scrapbook about your partner's life

This can be for you or for someone important to your partner

Let your sparks fly - get back to life - now!



Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly, knowing that I am with you.

This is the best book! - Get yourself or a friend a copy on Amazon

AFTER THE LIGHT: What I Discovered on the Other Side of Life That Can Change Your World
AFTER THE LIGHT: What I Discovered on the Other Side of Life That Can Change Your World
I didn't read this one early in my grieving, but it opened up the door to getting back to life. I know you will love it.


Images and graphics

Images and graphics in this lens are the property of Jan T Baillie, and


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