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* Learning How To Live With Yourself

Updated on August 13, 2016

It's okay to love YOU

Learning to love other people is easy, learning to love yourself....
Learning to love other people is easy, learning to love yourself....

Why is it okay to love everybody but yourself?

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it."

Love is a precious gift. When we offer our love to another human being and it is accepted, the world suddenly comes alive. Then that love is returned, and we find ourselves occupying our own little piece of Heaven right here on Earth.

Few things are more fantastical than young love in bloom. They make mistakes, but we hardly see them. They have flaws, but that doesn't seem important. They might not be perfect, but as long as they are perfect for us nothing else seems to matter.

Love is a gift we give so freely to others, but for some reason we often withhold it from ourselves. We aren't perfect, and we know it. Most of us are aware of every single flaw we possess, and while we may be able to overlook the flaws in the ones we love, ours seem to be all we see when we look in the mirror, and it would be so much easier to love ourselves if we could change those things we don't like.

Define Personal Success

"My definition of success is total self-acceptance. We can obtain all of the material possessions we desire quite easily, however, attempting to change our deepest thoughts and learning to love ourselves is a monumental challenge." ~ Franki

You deserve love... yes you!
You deserve love... yes you!

Love

The Most Precious Gift...

Stop right there... let's look at this a little more closely. Do any of these things sound like love to you?

Not being aware of their wants, needs, or desires

Neglecting their physical or emotional needs

Seeking perfection from them

Knowing change is a hopeless pursuit

Talking bad about them to other people

Talking bad straight to their face

Lack of belief in them or their abilities

Discouraging them from sharing thoughts and ideas for fear of embarrassment...

That's not love, it isn't even like. If you were in a relationship with someone you felt that way about, hopefully you would not stay there for long. It sounds like a totally miserable arrangement for everybody involved. But you can't escape a relationship with yourself. Everybody else in your life will come and go, you will face many of your hardest moments in life alone no matter how large your support system may be. The one person you will always be stuck with is you...

When you don't like things about yourself, you can go to great lengths to cover those things up. Cosmetics,strategic wardrobes, plastic surgery, extreme body modifications. They say they do it to make themselves attractive but to "feel attractive" or to "attract others" - lets face it nearly everybody has an attention hog inside of them, everybody wants recognition and appreciation for who they are at least some of the time. If your only sources of approval and recognition are coming from outside sources, then you alone times are going to feel very empty.

Exaggerating your successes to project a more acceptable image

Constantly pointing out your flaws and testing the loyalty of friends

People-pleasing and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of

Missing now because you are living in the hurts of the past, and fearing the sorrows of the future.

Becoming a hermit, intentionally isolating yourself from others.

If these things remind you of yourself then you will find it almost impossible to figure out how to live with yourself and make everybody else miserable in the process.

Rules for Being Human...

To hold in high regard...

Self-Esteem

The word "esteem" means to hold someone in high regard.

When you love someone, you seek out opportunities to spend time with them.

You want to protect them from anything that would harm them.

You truly believe they deserve happiness.

You like the way you feel when you are with them.

Just thinking about them makes you smile.

The term self-esteem has been so overused in our culture that it has lost much of its meaning. It's something for people to lay on a sofa and discuss with their therapist, but it doesn't really affect many of us, does it?

Go back to that previous list and turn it inward for a moment.

Do you hold yourself in high regard?

Do you seek out opportunities to spend time with yourself?

Do you want to protect yourself from anything that would harm you?

Do you truly believe you deserve happiness?

Do you like the way you feel when you are alone with yourself?

Can you bring a smile to your face just by thinking about something you have accomplished?

Was that a bit tougher? Did it feel silly or wrong for you to be asking yourself these questions?

Self-esteem begins in childhood. This is where we first acquire our concepts of love and happiness, but this is also where we learn the concepts of fear, shame, and powerlessness. I'm not blaming your parents here. We are talking about you and how you see the world.

Childhood is where you formed many of your perceptions about the world around you. You learned how to react to the world, and in turn, how the world reacts to you. A child does not have the logic necessary to process many of the events that occur in the world around them and often blame themselves when things go wrong.

A lot of those voices in your head that tell you that you aren't good enough come from somewhere in your childhood, but that doesn't mean they have to stay there. Self-help has nothing to do with blaming others, it is about taking responsibility for where you are today and where you are going tomorrow.

The messages you have stored in your head came from many places, and they weren't always positive.

A courteous regard for feelings...

Respect

Respect is a concept that very few people seem to truly understand. The passive don't think they deserve it, the aggressive think they deserve it so much that they demand it. Then there is the assertive approach, which is understanding that the only way to get respect is to give it, to respect yourself and others.

That's it. Period.

When you demand it, you rarely get it. When you have none for others, you receive none for yourself. When you have none for yourself, you rarely receive it from others. It can't be bought, it can't be sold, it can't be forced. It can't be manipulated, and it can't be deceived.

That's why it is called "earning" respect.

Respect means many things to many people. My favorite definition is "a courteous regard for people's feelings." Guess what? That means your own feelings too!

Your feelings are there to tell you something is going on in your life that needs your attention, just like how a fever tells you that your body is not well and needs to be taken care of. Ignoring your feelings or allowing them to be ignored by others does not address the problem, it just puts off dealing with it until it becomes a bigger problem.

When you do not respect yourself, you broadcast it to others whether you intend to or not. If you don't respect yourself, it is the same as saying "I'm not really that important," so don't be surprised when they agree with you and refuse to give you respect.

Many of us go through life functioning as a doormat. When was the last time you respected your doormat? It is there to wipe your feet on, nothing more. Small things like learning to say no, learning to say "I want," and learning to stand firm when you say "I need" makes a huge difference in the way people treat you.

Your wants should never come before another person's needs, but another person's wants should never come before your needs either. Respecting yourself means taking care of yourself. Your health is important, physical, emotional, even spiritual. When you begin to find healthy ways to respect yourself, others will see that and respond.

Something that makes you feel good about being you...

Accomplishments

When was the last time you ended a day with a strong feeling of accomplishment? Stop for a moment and think about how good it felt. Maybe you landed a big account, finished a novel, or got that new job. Maybe you just cleaned out the hall closet. Whatever it was, it made you feel good about being YOU, didn't it?

It might not have mattered much to another person, but it meant something to you. Wouldn't it be great if you could feel that way about life every single day? Not many of us have the time or energy to accomplish a major goal every day. This is where small goals come into play.

Getting that feeling of accomplishment is possible every day, as long as you cut major goals into bite-sized pieces. Some people use checklists, some use a chore board, some just develop a routine that gets them where they want to be one small step at a time. It doesn't matter how you do it as long as you are satisfied with the results.

What you choose to accomplish is a very personal thing. If you are doing things just because other people expect you to do them then that isn't your accomplishment, is it? It belongs to someone else. Your goals must belong to you.

Start each day with something that makes you feel good about being you, and you will see your life change in ways you never imagined.

Randy Pausch Last Lecture: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch (Oct. 23, 1960 - July 25, 2008) gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving presentation, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

Last Lecture by Randy Pausch

An incredibly inspiring story...

You are what you own...

Ownership

Who owns your life, and who are you living it for? This is a difficult question for many of us. We get trapped in our parents' expectations, transfer it to a boss, then to a partner, and we often lose ourselves in the process.

You do not own your parents' problems, you do not own your boss's, and you do not own your partner's. Their problems do not belong to you, yet you find yourself getting wrapped up in them over and over until you begin to feel suffocated.

You are not responsible for the actions of another, the decisions of another, the difficulties of another, or the sorrows of another. You can certainly be there to support them if you choose; you don't have to abandon them by any means, but you don't have to take responsibility for them either.

The only person in this world you are truly responsible for is you.

It is really easy for us to get that backwards, to take responsibility for others but not take responsibility for ourselves. It's no wonder we lose ourselves, we don't even know where we end and the other person begins.

You deserve to have boundaries in your life. You deserve to know where you end and another begins. To realize that nothing you do should be forced, and everything should be allowed to become a conscious choice.

How To Separate 'Real' Wants From 'Should' Wants

Controlling your own destiny...

Choices

It doesn't matter how hopeless your situation seems, you always have a choice. This one is difficult to swallow, but it makes a huge difference in your life. We are all placed in situations where we feel our backs are against the wall, where we have no choice.

We always have a choice; it may be a difficult choice, it may be a choice that requires a lot of work, it may have consequences we do not like, but we always have a choice. Most of the time when we say we don't have a choice, we are just choosing the easiest option.

It is easier to give in than to stand up to people. It is easier to stay in a bad relationship than it is to leave. It is easier to do something ourselves than it is to allow others to do it differently than we would like it to be done.

Sometimes it is easier to make decisions for others than to wait for them to take action themselves. Sometimes it is easier to allow others to make decisions for us rather than face the consequences ourselves.

This was the concept I had the most trouble swallowing, I kept insisting I did not have a choice. I couldn't help it that certain people were placed in my life. I couldn't help it that they did horrible things. I couldn't help it that they would not leave me alone.

I did have a choice. I could choose to ignore them, I could chose to stand up to them, I could chose to say no, I could even choose not to play their game. It takes a lot of practice, but taking control of your choices puts you back in control of your life. You always have a choice, sometimes you just have to look for it.

We all tend to stay in our comfort zones, no matter how uncomfortable they may actually be. Choice is the first step outside of that comfort zone and into the world of happiness.

When you take control of your life, you take control of your destiny.

Choice Theory

"The only behavior we can control is our own; by the same token, no one can make us do anything we don't want to. It's only when we give up spending our energy trying to force others to conform to our ideas or to keep them from doing the same to us that we are able to live the way we want to."

You are all you ever will be...

Acceptance

It is often easier to accept others than to accept yourself. After all, you have to live with yourself. You may see strengths, but you see so many weaknesses. You may see accomplishments, but you see so many failures. You may see the good, but you also see so much bad.

Sometimes those negatives seem to outweigh the positives 100-to-1. For each thing we do well, we see so many things we can't do at all. People keep saying we can do anything we put our minds to, but all we seem to see is an endless string of "can't do's."

It would be nice to be all of the things we aren't, but thoughts like this don't help us figure out how to live with ourselves, let alone be happy about it. It's easy to get lost in the "if only's." My life would be better "if only." Each list is as different as the person who makes it, but many of us spend our lives waiting for "if only" to come.

You are the only YOU there will ever be, so why waste your life wishing you were someone else? You can try to being perfect by someone else's standards, or you can focus on perfecting being you. Once you can accept that YOU are all you ever will be, life becomes much easier.

You can't be anyone else, but you can be the best you possible. You can be different, you can be unique, you can find joys in the things that make you YOU.

Not comparing yourself with others or being jealous of their success sets you free. Compete only with yourself. Are you better today than you were yesterday? Success! Their successes belong to them, but yours belong to you. Allow yourself to take pride in them no matter how small.

Finding out what makes you YOU...

Explore

When was the last time you spent some time alone just getting to know yourself? That sounds silly, doesn't it? After all, if anyone knows who you are it should be you.

You know your favorite food, your favorite color, your pet peeves. You know who you love and who you don't care for. You know where you work, where you live, and who you live with.

Those things aren't really you. They are a part, but only a small part of the big picture. There are parts of you inside that you don't see when you look in the mirror. Nightmares and dreams, sorrows and pleasures, sufferings and joys.

These are the things that really make up the bigger picture that is you. Other people don't have to like those things or even know about them, but you should love them. Every single one of them sets you apart from the rest of the sheep.

Are you an idealist or a realist, a romantic or a cynic? Do you see the glass half-empty, half-full, or just right? What do you have to offer the world that only you can offer? A certain point of view? An invention that will make life better? A plan to take over the world?

Dig deeper, and when you have done that, dig deeper still. Don't just live on the surface of yourself. You don't find treasures in the earth without some digging, and you wont find those treasures in yourself without some hard work, but they are there.

What you feed grows, what you starve dies...

Strengths and Weaknesses

Human existence is based on balance. We are all made up of good and bad, light and dark, yin and yang, strengths and weaknesses. We spend so much of our time focused on one side or the other, but rest assured that both sides are always present.

What would joy be if we had never experienced pain? Would we appreciate good as much if we had never seen evil? Would laughter feel as wonderful if we had never shed tears?

You are human, and as such you are blessed with strengths and weaknesses. The truly successful people in life don't lament their weaknesses, they find a way to turn them into strengths.

If you have suffered, then you know how to help another through their suffering. If you have seen horrible things, then you know how to appreciate beauty. If you are lazy, then you have figured out faster ways to do certain things.

So if you take time to examine what you consider to be your negative qualities, you are very likely to find that there are some positive aspects to them as well.

The same applies to circumstances. Sometimes we have to deal with an extremely difficult person. Look closely at the effect they have had on your life. Perhaps they have encouraged you to take a different path than you might have otherwise. Perhaps they have brought you out of isolation and back into the world.

Maybe you have been financially drained as a result of job loss... have you learned to tighten your belt? Maybe you have learned some new recipes and can feed your family on less. Has it inspired you to make changes in the rest of your life?

Every negative has the potential to be a positive, sometimes you just have to look for it.

Strengths from Weaknesses - Articles

The tree that never had to fight

For sun and sky and air and light,

But stood out in the open rain

And always got its share and rain,

Never became a forest king

But lived and died a scrubby thing

Good timber does not grow with ease,

The stronger wind, the stronger trees.

- Douglas Malloch

Learning to live YOUR life...

Personalize

In order to live with yourself, you have to be yourself. If you have low self-esteem, the concept of YOU gets lost in so many different ways. You go on with your life doing what everybody else says you should do, but lose track of the things you want to do.

Have you ever driven someone else's car? It just doesn't feel like your car. The seat needs adjusted, followed by the mirrors. The knobs aren't in the same places, the windshield wipers are where the headlight controls are supposed to be. It might be a nice car, but it isn't your car.

Have you ever been hit with the thought, "Is this all there is to life?" That sense of something missing in your life can be looked at the same way. Maybe you are living someone else's life.

You are an adult now, your parents' job is done. You aren't your sister, you aren't your neighbor, you are you. Are you living by your rules or theirs?

If you hate your job, can't stand the place you live, dream of traveling but never go further than the corner store... what is stopping you?

Now is a good time to figure out what you want to do with your life, and do it. In order to do that you have to put aside the rules that other people have laid out for you and start your own rule book.

What things are important to you? When are you happiest? What really makes you laugh? What makes you cry? What brings you up when you are feeling down? Take some time every day to ask yourself the really important questions in life.

Life is a very personal experience, so why are you following the rest of the flock? Go find your own path, and travel it for no other reason than just to see where it leads.

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    • profile image

      ConfidenceBuildingTips 4 years ago

      You truly are a great writer. This is an excellent lens. Love, choice, acceptance, self esteem. I like the way you help redefine weaknesses as a foundation of strength. Thank you for sharing!

    • siobhanryan profile image

      siobhanryan 5 years ago

      Blessed Brilliant lens

    • profile image

      Shyamaprasad1 5 years ago

      Why the VDO says Last Lecture by Randy Pausch ? I saw half of it. Its nice.

    • profile image

      Shyamaprasad1 5 years ago

      I am very new to Squidoo. I just wrote my first lens - Teach yourself to better life. @boshemia you are such a good writer. Can you help me to express .Many ideas these days appear to me about life experiences. I would love to share . Lots of love. Sam

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      anonymous 5 years ago

      Great read and all true! I have recently decided to get a tattoo saying "He conquers who Conquers himself". As a reminder to myself everyday.

    • Kathryn Beach profile image

      Kathryn Wallace 5 years ago from Greenbank, WA, USA

      I am humbled by this lens, such wisdom. I must study this...to love begins with self, then it overflows quite naturally...very profound lens. Thank you.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Great site. I'm glad I stumbled on it. Passed it on to my kids and close friends. Thanks for creating it. I'm sure many people will be strengthen by this.

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      Katie Harp 5 years ago

      blessed by a squid angel :) <3

    • profile image

      crstnblue 6 years ago

      Very good lens with plenty of useful information.

      Thanks for sharing, and no doubt, after reading it, some of us will become quite happy (with their own self first)!

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 6 years ago from New Zealand

      Very interesting lens with a lot of soul searching. It brought tears to my eyes.

      Thanks for sharing. *Blessed*

    • christydeena profile image

      christydeena 6 years ago

      It's obvious that you've spent a lot of time in soul searching and have a lot of wisdom to share as a result. I just started the lens "quotes about finding yourself" that also touches on how to go deeper into yourself. All the best to you on this ongoing journey of life!

    • astaramay profile image

      astaramay 6 years ago

      I have learned that self acceptance leads to enlightenment and bliss. Your lens touches on such wonderful ways that lead to self acceptance. Great Job!

    • profile image

      paintingsgalore22 6 years ago

      Me too, i continuously discovering myself and loving it all the way... :-) but there are really times, you cannot avoid disliking yourself, isn't it?

    • JackNimble profile image

      JackNimble 6 years ago

      This is a great lens. I really enjoyed your writing style and how thought provoking it was. I have struggled with perfectionism all my life and giving myself a break has been a hard lesson to learn. Thanks for sharing. I know so many people in my life that could benefit from reading your lens and doing some self reflection.

    • serenity4me lm profile image

      serenity4me lm 6 years ago

      I enjoyed this lens a great deal. Very well done!

    • WhiteOak50 profile image

      WhiteOak50 6 years ago

      I had to come back to this page and drop off a Blessing from a SquidAngel. I remember the first time I visited this page and how it touched me. Today, it done the same thing. Very well done!!

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      miaponzo 6 years ago

      I have learned a long time ago that you can never probably be perfect. whatever that is... so just be happy with who you are and change whatever you can.. :)

    • TapIn2U profile image

      TapIn2U 6 years ago

      Wow - that Swedish Proverb quote really stopped me in my tracks and urged me to read on. I'm thankful that I never really came to a point in my life that I hated myself so much I didn't want to live with myself but I did have my fair share of self frustrations and disappointments. This lens is a big enlightenment and I thank you for sharing it. Indeed, a well deserved purple star! Fantastic lens! Hey, I just published my fourth lens called the 3 Shortcuts to Happiness and would love to know what you think of it. Any suggestion will be greatly appreciated. Blessings! Sundae ;-)

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Indeed very interesting topic. I always make the most out of my life. Now I am enjoying my online training, I'm becoming more independent and so thankful on what I have now in my life.

    • Diana Wenzel profile image

      Renaissance Woman 6 years ago from Colorado

      So much upon which to reflect. Very thought-provoking lens. Thanks!

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      Leanne Chesser 6 years ago

      Great job on a much needed topic. Your section on respect is profound. Blessed.

    • profile image

      careermom 6 years ago

      Another great lense.

    • profile image

      careermom 6 years ago

      Another great lense.

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Your writings here are with great insight, insight I had forgotten and really needed. Brought me back to myself, instead of serving others. Thank you. I was thinking what is the purpose of all this living thing, I lost my smile muscles.......I want them back, how timely! :)

    • greenkat lm profile image

      greenkat lm 6 years ago

      Great! Really made me think - I love your insight. I will apply these concepts to my life!

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Lovely Lens!

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      anonymous 6 years ago

      Thanks bud !! have learned very useful stuff here!!Preety much related to my life i m 23 !! Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us!! God bless u and show u the path of righteousness!! :) :) :)

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      majorshadow 6 years ago

      Song Title: Me (pop)

      Subject: a song delivering the message; "live your life & love yourself"

      Video URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IQ9Q3ZALow

    • stoetzels lm profile image

      stoetzels lm 6 years ago

      You have an influence in changing my life to better one....My comments are a form of love and appreciation of your work...Keep it up!

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      scar4 6 years ago

      An important lesson I have learnt today. Inspirational!

    • kristiene lm profile image

      kristiene lm 7 years ago

      I found your web site whilst checking for something distinct on Google about topics related to Self Esteem Affirmations, although I had the opportunity to go through this article and I found it really useful indeed.

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      RedSportNiac 7 years ago

      What a beautiful and meaningful lens. Nicely done.

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thank you for this insight. I have been having trouble with many of the things that you have described here, wondering what there is to life that I want to fight for and why I fought for it before. I'm not saying that I suddenly got revived, but you gave me a way of finding the light, so once again, thank you for this. I especially liked the lecture by Randy Pausch.

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @sheriangell: I'm so glad you liked it :)

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      sheriangell 7 years ago

      I've always enjoyed my visits to your lenses, but this one is most certainly my favorite. Extremely well written and oh so inspiring.

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      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      Just stopping by to leave an ~*~* Angel Blessing *~*~ on this very deserving lens.

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      ansaw 7 years ago

      I enjoy reading your post and you inspire me while I'm reading your article. This artilce give me courage and idea on how to leave simple. Now I know what is the meaning of Building Self Esteem Once again thanks for the post.

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      If we still had the star rating system, I still couldn't give this lens the rating it deserves ~ 10 !

      You made a very powerful point in a loving, yet clear way. I love this lens and I love you for creating it. :)

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      Mary Norton 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I looked to find out if someone has written on loving yourself and lo and behold...not only has someone done it but done it so well...I could do no better. I take my hats off. Thank you. Just love reading it.

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      LoKackl 7 years ago

      @Mickie Gee: My experience as a young mom and after death very similar, Mickie_G. Yay for groups!

    • LoKackl profile image

      LoKackl 7 years ago

      Beautifully done. SquidAngel Blessed.

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      Mickie Goad 7 years ago

      I love the b/w color scheme! It is just beautiful. Thanks for telling us the source for the lovely photos. Blessed by this Angel Today.

      My best lesson: when you need help, find a support group. As a young mom, I was feeling frustrated and lost so I asked my minister to form a support group for young moms. He was a trained physiologist and jumped at the chance.

      When my husband died at the age of 45, I needed to reach out of my self imposed cocoon and joined a Grief Recovery Group for Young Adults. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. I got the help, acceptance, understanding and support from this group of people who knew what I was going through. I still have deep friendships with some of the members 15 years later.

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      zodifl 7 years ago

      Very well written lens full of powerful information. I did not get time to read it all but I will be back soon. Thank you

    • Heather426 profile image

      Heather Burns 7 years ago from Wexford, Ireland

      beautiful lens about learning to love yourself!

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      Cynthia Arre 7 years ago from Quezon City

      Beautifully written and crafted lens. It's true that we can't love others if we can't love ourselves. Congrats on the star! *blessed by an angel*

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      Sandy Mertens 7 years ago from Frozen Tundra

      Congratulations on the purple star. Very well put together lens.

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @indigoj: Why thank you for stopping by and for the kind comments, they are much appreciated :)

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @buddbeli: Thank you dear friend :)

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @ZenandChic: Thank you lovely lady!

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      Indigo Janson 7 years ago from UK

      This is excellent, congratulations on the star, well deserved!

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      buddbeli 7 years ago

      You sure deserve the kudos. Wonderful lens -- great wisdom. Peace my friend ...

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      Patricia 7 years ago

      Congrats on the purple star!

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @justholidays: Thank you for the blessing, they sure do make a day brighter!!!

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @WindyWintersHubs: Thank you so much, I'm tickled purple!

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      WindyWintersHubs 7 years ago from Vancouver Island, BC

      Congratulations on your Purple Star. :)

    • justholidays profile image

      justholidays 7 years ago

      I came because Kathy McGraw recommended the page and have to say that it's beautifully done and interesting.

      SquidAngel blessings.

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @PromptWriter: Thank you so much!

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @ulla_hennig: Thank you!

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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @Spook LM: but of course... it would be an honor!

    • ayngel boshemia profile image
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      Ayngel Overson 7 years ago from Crestone, Co

      @Spook LM: Very true... it's hard to maintain a balance between caring for self and caring for others. If you don't love yourself you can't truly love others but if you don't truly love others can you still love yourself?

    • Spook LM profile image

      Spook LM 7 years ago

      I always forget. I hope you don't mind but I'm lensrolling this?

    • Spook LM profile image

      Spook LM 7 years ago

      An astonishingly beautiful lens. The only person in this world you are truly responsible for is you.

      Personally, I have to disagree with that sentence if it means you come first, before your children and your family. I think it's the other way around and sometimes therein lies the problem. Selfishness. The other day I was ranting with my workmates. Eventually the conclusion was, if everybody put their problems on the table and after discussing them all.You would take your own back. Too true. Congratulations on the purple.

    • profile image

      ulla_hennig 7 years ago

      Congratulaitons on your purple star!

    • PromptWriter profile image

      Moe Wood 7 years ago from Eastern Ontario

      I find I go through phases of easy living with myself. It's a rollercoaster.

      Congratulations on your purpler star!

    • JoyfulPamela2 profile image

      JoyfulPamela2 7 years ago from Pennsylvania, USA

      Congratulations on your purple star!

    • KathyMcGraw2 profile image

      Kathy McGraw 7 years ago from California

      Where do I start? Self-acceptance, choices, balance? Like always you have laid this out very well, and the message is one that many people need to internalize in order to "find love". Blessed by an Angel, and big hugs to you :)

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Self-love (and understanding the importance of it); acceptance; knowing it's okay to make mistakes... These are all vital, I think, to living happily with yourself.

      Thanks for the comprehensive and thought-provoking lens! :-)

      Steve

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      anonymous 7 years ago

      Self-love (and understanding the importance of it); acceptance; knowing it's okay to make mistakes... These are all vital, I think, to living happily with yourself.

      Thanks for the comprehensive and thought-provoking lens! :-)

      Steve

    • WhiteOak50 profile image

      WhiteOak50 7 years ago

      Fantastic lens!! "Blessed by a SquidAngel" and featured on My Angel Lens

    • Ramkitten2000 profile image

      Deb Kingsbury 8 years ago from Flagstaff, Arizona

      Your lenses--your writing--never ceases to amaze me. You are such an insightful and wise person, and that really comes through here. It took me about 30 years to really learn to like and accept myself, faults and all. And that's really improved my relationships with other people, too. I finally realized that I was basically living someone else's life and started concentrating on me and what made me happy. In that way, I was able to be more giving to others at the same time.

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Today was a really difficult day ... I realize I don't know how to live with myself and that's how I stumbbled upon your website. You are truly heaven sent ... and you are putting your life's experiences out to help other people in the same situation you were before. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING.

    • profile image

      Libby_Gill 8 years ago

      This is a wonderful lens! You share a lot of great information and resources here. When you have a chance, I'd love for you to visit my You Unstuck lens. Be sure to say hello when you stop by!

    • Zut Moon profile image

      Zut Moon 8 years ago

      Wow, you are a lot smater than you look (just joking). This is only the 2nd lens of yours that I have looked at but I am impressed.

      You have a good grasp on life and what it takes to be happy. Hold old did you say you were ... ???

      Seems you got to this spiritual level quicker than I did. At any rate, I need to five star this and favor it , lensroll it (if I can remember how) and generally link it into my lenses. Royalties you holler ...oh heck, I don't think you'll mind the extra exposure.

      Well Done !!!

    • Davidfstillwagon profile image

      Davidfstillwagon 8 years ago

      terrific lens! I'll give it a 5

    • profile image

      nuclamom 8 years ago

      Another excellent lens! :)

    • JanTUB profile image

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 8 years ago from Australia

      [in reply to JanTUB] 'someonee' should read 'someone else's'

      Sorry

    • JanTUB profile image

      Jan T Urquhart Baillie 8 years ago from Australia

      Many years ago in Brisbane, I was personal development liaison at my church. I found that many women my age had low self-esteem, so decided to run a workshop. inviting professionals to take some sessions. In preparation I read 17 books on the subject. One of those was : Honoring the Self: Self-Esteem and Personal Transformation by Dr Nathaniel Branden, a life-changing book.

      A quote from the book:

      It is unreasonable to live your life according to someonee expectations.

      I stopped immediately. 5* and thanks for this great lens.

    • AngelaChenShui LM profile image

      AngelaChenShui LM 8 years ago

      WONDERFUL lens ~ happy I popped over from Twitter! Rated 5 *'s and will check if you have other lenses.

      Angela from Soul Mate Compatibility.

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      very nice lens, well written and formatted, nicely done

      Visit From SquidRank Random Lens Viewer

    • mysticmama lm profile image

      Bambi Watson 8 years ago

      I would like to invite you to submit this lens to the sharing heats group :)

      http://www.squidoo.com/group/sharingheartsgroup

      feel free to delete this comment if you don't want the link in your comments (sorry about that)

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      A very helpful lens. You are creative! :)

    • AshleyBretting-MS profile image

      AshleyBretting-MS 8 years ago

      What a nice job you've done! 5*

      Stop by and say hello, would love to see you there

      https://hubpages.com/health/Psychotherapist

    • monarch13 profile image

      monarch13 8 years ago

      Wow, very prolific! I empathize completely. 5 stars and rolled to Cope with Anger, Create Happiness.

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      HealthyHolidayTips 8 years ago

      Awesome lens!!!

    • religions7 profile image

      religions7 8 years ago

      Inspiring & very well illustrated :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Excellent, inspiring and insightful!

    • profile image

      Mayflowerblood 8 years ago

      excellent! =]

    • ArtByLinda profile image

      Linda Hoxie 8 years ago from Idaho

      Wow, this is incredibly well done! Your sharing of the lessons you have learned along the way will help someone else, it is truly a gift you have shared. Thank you! Linda

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Wow, really, really good stuff. (the pictures really add to it as well)

    • ElizabethJeanAl profile image

      ElizabethJeanAl 8 years ago

      Wonderful lens. You are a great writer with a lot of depth of feeling.

      Lizzy

    • profile image

      HomeTowne_Market 8 years ago

      Very nicely done. Thank you for sharing with us!