- Mental Health
Miracle: Schizophrenia No More!
Hello, my name is James W. Adams. When I was 16, I fell into a bad crowd due to the need to feel wanted. I tried to fit in with every other group at school, but they rejected me because I ended up not being suitable for their group. The crowd I ended up hanging out with was into drugs and mischief — mostly drugs though. My friends and I became very familiar with all sorts of drugs, but mainly stayed away from anything involving needles because we heard that the risk of death was very high with that form of use.
Let’s Fast forward to the day before my 18th birthday. I decided that I wanted to impress my friends by taking four different kinds of drugs over a two-day period. The drugs on the menu were marijuana, methamphetamine, LSD, and magic mushrooms. I thought that the more drugs I did, the more popular I would become in my group — it did not work out that way though.
During the second night of my wonderful idea, I ended up overdosing on LSD in the form of Black Pyramid. I found out later from the drug seller that I was only supposed to take half of the dose that I took that day. It turns out that the batch of LSD was not mixed right, and was too potent for a single Black Pyramid dose. Well, that night my face turned blue and my brain turned inside, out, left, right, and any other direction except for straight because of LSD mix-up.
The next day, my mom tried to talk to me, but my brain was too fried to formulate any kind of normal conversation. My mom asked me if I took any drugs, and I spilled the beans about my drug use. My mom took me to my primary care physician, and the doctor took one look at me and knew I was not in my right mind. The doctor called the mental health facility nearby to let them know I was coming over to be evaluated. An ambulance came and took me to the nearby mental facility. I arrived at the facility, got evaluated, and was cleared to be admitted into the mental facility.
The Schizophrenic Mind
I waited a while to be admitted, but I eventually was admitted and was put on 72-hour hold because I was a danger to myself and others. The next day, the doctor evaluated me the diagnosis Paranoid Schizophrenia. I stayed in the mental facility for only a month because of insurance problems. I was released for a short time, but my illness got a lot worse. I was readmitted two weeks later under emergency Medical and stayed in the mental facility for two weeks — out of my mind! The doctor assigned to me decided to commit me to a long-term mental facility because there were no signs of improvement since being admitted.
Surprisingly, I only stayed at the long-term facility for a month and then was cleared to go home under my family’s supervision. I was not the same since the LSD overdose though. It was a complete nightmare every day thereafter. I was completely convinced people were out to get me because the paranoia was extremely intense. Not only did I have extreme paranoia, but I had debilitating stress as a result of that fateful day when I wanted to impress my drug buddies.
Stress and Paranoia
Let’s fast forward a few more years to the age of Twenty-One. After quitting countless jobs due to stress and paranoia, I was accepted on SSI. During that time, my psychiatrist changed my diagnosis to Schizoaffective Disorder. I was given the new diagnosis because I was exhibiting signs of schizophrenia and moderate recurrent major depression. I lived with my mom and step-dad until I started receiving SSI checks. My mom and I decided that it was time for me to spread my wings and live on my own for now on. I moved to Sacramento, CA and settled there, along with getting a new psychiatrist to keep me somewhat sane.
My Family & Me
Let’s skip forward 12 more years to the age of Thirty-Two. After many failed attempts at starting and continuing college in hopes of finding a job I would not want to quit, I began to lose hope in pursuing such a thing. I was also in a marriage that was going down the tubes very quickly. I ended up separating from my wife during that time. I not only left my wife, but I left my two-year-old daughter too. I hit rock bottom within a few days after the separation.
I was left with three possible decisions: I could commit suicide and not have to face myself or my wife, I could live on my own and live with many regrets, or I could tough it out by going back to my wife and daughter. After struggling with making a decision, I decided to back to my wife and child.
I called my wife and told her my decision to go back to her. My wife said she would call her mom to set up arrangements for it to take place. My wife called me back and said that I could come back to her, but her mom wanted me to start going to church every Sunday. I agreed to the new arrangement my wife’s mom proposed.
After moving back in with my wife and going to church every Sunday, I eventually gave my heart to the Lord. My whole life turned around after that. I began to care about myself, my paranoia went away, I began going to church on a regular basis with my wife and her family, and I actually started to like life!
I began getting involved in church and eventually became a leader at church. I even went to Bible College to into ministry full time. I ended up graduating Epic Bible College with honors and received an A.A. in Ministerial Studies. I went into ministry for a short while until my illness made me unstable and unfit to be in full time ministry.
Mood Disorder Spectrum: A Simple Explanation Of All Mood Disorders
I am Forty-years-old now, and I still suffer from depression and anxiety. I still need to take medication to help stabilize my mood. In fact, my Psychiatrist gave me a new diagnosis this year called Mood Disorder (NOS). The (NOS) means Not Otherwise Specified. Another words, I am not in the category of being psychotic anymore, but I am in the category of mood disorder – they just can’t pinpoint my diagnosis. Yes, I am medically cleared of being Schizophrenic!!!
I give God all the credit for my recovery from Schizophrenia – God is good! If it was not for God, I would not be in the position in the frame of mind I am in today. I am able to help raise my eight-year-old daughter with my wife. I am also able to help my wife with her medical issues too. Along with taking care of my family, I am also able to get involved in ministry on a part-time basis. Jesus made it possible for me to meet the right people to help me get through my ordeals in life. The Holy Spirit helped guide me through all the twists and turns that led to my new diagnosis.
If you are going through a problem or problems, whether it is mental problems or physical problems, I am here to tell you that there is hope. I don’t know if I will ever overcome my mood disorder, but I do know someone who can take those problems away – Jesus! I will continue to pray and believe that God will take away these thorns (depression and anxiety) on my side. But if God wants to keep these thorns in me to help other people overcome their problems, I will gladly wear them.
God is good!