On Adhd, Routines, and Being Impatient

For most of my life, I've heard that word "routine", and some days I love it, some days I absolutely despise it! I have struggled throughout my life with sticking to and keeping routines, and it's definitely something I still struggle with every single day. Eventually, I got so frustrated from trying so many different strategies that I made my own, and it seems to be working well. Let me unravel for you how I came up with this interesting strategy.

First, let's talk about planners. Planners, planners, planners. I don't know how many planners I've bought and never used, or I've started and then never stuck to. Even though I liked organizing every little detail of my day when I was in the mood, planners just never were a practical thing for me. So, I decided to ditch the planner idea altogether!

What next? Well, I started to think about what actually helps me during the day. I started to pay attention to the things that seemed to take more effort for me during the day to complete, and the things that just kind of came naturally to me. I didn't write any of this down, I just simply observed my own behavior patterns for one week.

After that week, I started thinking about what I know I need to do every day. Again, not writing anything down, not pressuring myself into a schedule, just thinking. I have realized now that I have to work at my own pace, and for those of us with ADHD, sometimes that means slowing things down quite a bit so we can really pay attention to ourselves!

Finally, the following week, I went to Walmart with my fiancé and I got a whiteboard. I opted for a blank whiteboard without any kind of calendar on it, because I personally know that I like to structure things my way, so it's better to just do that on a blank canvas.

Once I brought that home, I created two lists: one with everything basic I needed to make sure to do every day: shower, dress, brush your teeth, wash the dishes, etc. The second list was my work schedule. Since I work from home, my work schedule is simply broken down into the different platforms that I use everyday. I drew small squares next to each item, and for the first week, I heavily tracked my routine and colored in the boxes as I went through my day.

The coloring of the boxes is more important than you think: for some reason, doing that and then looking at the end of the day at all I DID accomplish, even if it wasn't everything, made a huge difference. I stopped making myself feel guilty for not getting to something and I started looking at all the good things I accomplished that day. I had a few "off" days where nothing was done, and I still have those, but I have found with my new white board strategy, those are becoming less frequent.

It's funny, those of us with ADHD know that routines help us, and yet we adamantly oppose the idea with everything we have for most of our lives. It's almost like a defiance to logic for no reason except to make the point that everyone does everything differently. To me, it almost feels like admitting defeat, and I'm not willing to do that. I do know that in some times in my life, routines have saved me, whether that's been from making sure to pay an overdue bill or get to the doctor on time. Routines do work, and they do help, and the thing is, a routine looks different for everyone.

If you are interested in trying this strategy out, I encourage you to do so! My biggest piece of advice when utilizing this strategy is "slow and steady wins the race". I know you are rolling your impatient, ADHD eyes at me. I can feel it, but listen to me. It's true. Slow things down, and really take notice of your symptoms and how you feel throughout the day. Note when you are the most anxious and when you are the most relaxed. Note when you feel the most productive. The idea is to create a personally tailored routine that works for YOU.

It's not a foolproof system. I've had days where I didn't even look at my board, but I will say, looking back between today and about six months ago, I can see the difference, and it makes me proud. If you are struggling with your ADHD symptoms, know that you are never alone and that there's always someone out there who has gone through something similar! So get to work! You've got a lot to do now!