social shyness

Do you suffer from social shyness? Believe me I use the word “suffer” in all sincerity; it really is suffering when your shyness stops you from doing ordinary everyday things. Okay so everyone except the super confident gets a little nervous from time to time about things like meeting new people or arriving at a strange place for the first time. But when it’s more than just a little nervous, when it causes you to stay home or not do things that you really would like, then its suffering.

Do you ever speak to people on the street or on the bus? Just pass the time of day being pleasant. Or do you hide your face behind a newspaper or bury yourself in a book? Do you hope no one actually asks you the time or anything else innocuous? Sad isn’t it when you just can’t enjoy a little harmless conversation with a fellow human being.

When you have no choice but to go shopping do you worry about it before you go? Still worry about it on the way to the stores? Do you actually dread going into the shop, so you stand looking into the window and trying to raise the courage to actually step through the door. It’s not so terrible is it to actually enter a store? Let’s face it, your not still wearing the same clothes as when you were fifteen (please tell me you’re not). So you’ve been shopping before, you have actually faced the ridicule of the staff and bought things so why doesn’t it get any easier?

Social shyness may not be life threatening but it sure can be life damaging. When it takes real effort to do “normal” everyday things it’s no joke. When you just can’t bring yourself to do things that you’d love to do, maybe join a painting class or go take music lessons, then it’s disabling.

What if you’re driving and you get lost, would you stop and ask directions or would you be too shy, or do you just keep driving around hoping to use “the force” to get you back on track. (Okay we all know guys never ask for directions but that’s a whole other ball game). You could stop and buy a map. No you couldn’t because then you’d most likely have to talk to someone in the shop or the gas station and that’s just not worth it. Better to drive around all day and miss the wedding or run out of gas in the desert and die of thirst. Better than dying of embarrassment anyway.

Do you have kids? Strange isn’t it how you can suffer from social shyness and still manage to get married and have a family. Sometimes you can force yourself to do things that are scary like actually saying hello to someone or offering to buy them a drink ask them out on a date. Maybe you were in a social group with old friends and that helped, maybe one of you’re wiser and sympathetic friends actually helped you out a little. However it happened you met someone you dated you got through the wedding ceremony without fainting or dying, and that’s got to be one of the scariest things you’ll ever do.

But now you have kids and you’re still shy! Does it stop you from having fun with your own family?  Do you feel embarrassed to play with them in the park or teach them to ride a bike because you’re still haunted by the fear of doing something dumb or looking stupid? And I bet you worry about the kids growing up to be just as shy as you, you don’t want them to be awkward in social situations. You want them to grow up and be self confident and “normal”. You want them to outgoing and happy not shy and insecure.

So what are you going to do about it? You’ll have to do something, do it for the sake of the kids, give them a self confident role model to follow and do it for yourself, get more from life, and do the stuff you want to do. Get a life!

I would personally recommend hypnotism, it’s painless and if you get mp3 files it’s pretty inexpensive and you can do it in the privacy of your own home which is always a plus for the social shyness sufferer.