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So Starving I Could Eat a Potted Plant

Updated on October 22, 2013
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Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!

It's That Time Again

It's that time of year again. I am on a diet. Again. Everyone I know is on a diet right now. Since I am totally low-budget, I am not stepping foot into a gym. I've bought two new workout DVDs. I also purchased Slim Fast for the first time ever. I've already given up on using Slim Fast for the first time ever, too. I determined Slim Fast is perfect for the dieter that is too lazy to chew. Since a delicious drink is obviously not filling, I am not making that mistake again.

I am starving. I am unhappy. I am starting to wonder why I do this to myself? I used to be able to drop weight easily, but as I get older, it has become more difficult.

Work is Not Helping

Whenever I am at work, there is always temptation. People are constantly bringing in food. Have you ever noticed there is a holiday for every damn thing? What is that? The Valentine's Day food is finally gone, but it is neverending. It's always someone's birthday or some celebration. If someone brings in food for President's Day next week, I am throwing a stapler at their head!

The worst part is seeing or hearing or smelling everyone else around you eating great food when I'm sitting at a desk starving. Here is something else - don't ever approach anyone and say, "Why are you dieting? You are not fat." Exactly. That is why I am dieting. I am heading down Chubby Lane at 100 miles per hour. I need to put the brakes on before I make it to Fat Land.

I Fear For Other's Safety

I am starting to fear for the safety of those around me. Please don't walk by me with food. If you just went to McDonald's, keep your distance. I might just attack you. I would practically kill for some fries right now. I would love cake or ice cream or something, as well. What would I do for a Klondike Bar? Oh, you don't even want to know. Sometimes when food is not available, I am so starving I could eat a potted plant. A plant would probably taste like salad, right? I mean, it sure can't taste much worse.

For now, I am trying to behave. I have apples, bananas, salad, skim milk, etc. I must make it over this hump. I will make it over this hump. I just need to picture the summer and going to the pool. Ah, yes, the pool. I need to picture going to the beach. That is right.

There sure is a lot of good food at the beach though...

What Works Better?

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