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The feeling of loose after a death

Updated on January 7, 2016

What does a person do with all the time that was spent being a caregiver? I feel like there is still so much I should do for my father who has been gone for almost a year. I know he is gone but some days I feel I should call the home and see how he is.

What do I do now that I have time? I am too old to go back to school. I want to take up so much. I write about what I have been through and so many others are going through. I do my own accounting as I took that up as a career years ago. Should I become a professional caregiver? Answer is a big NO. I have been a caregiver as far back as I can remember. I had my mother who was undiagnosed Bi-Polar and then she got Dementia. She passed and then it was found that Dad had Alzheimers. Well caregiver again. I took a job for respite time and it was as a caregiver to a lovely, sweet, Godly woman who taught me so much. When do my feelings of having to be there for others end? I have never taken that much time for me and my health and it is beginning to show. I still need to feel active.

I want to do my beading and writing and take up Native American Studies. Will this make life more purpose filled? How do I get over feeling so lost and lonely? I have a husband but a large part of my day and life is gone. I know I need to move on with life. My counselor said no more caregiver as it will be hard on my mental health. Now I can take time to heal myself some have said. I can take care of my Asthma, high blood pressure and other problems. What can I or that except see doctors?

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    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      2 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Grief is indeed work! Especially when we loose someone we are close to, such as a parent, spouse, or child. When they had ill health and we were the caregiver, suddenly, there is a vast amount of time we don't know what to do with! It is necessary to re-define ourselves and figure out who are again when a relationship is gone. The feelings you are having are natural. They are not wrong or bad, and will not go away readily. Taking baby steps as you re-construct your life after loss is wise.

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