Ideas for Millionaires on Your Gift List

Wondering what's best to buy that rich person this Christmas? Look no further! Here's a great article featuring items your affluent or downright rich friends or family members will appreciate at great low prices~who knew?

Read the funny article or scroll down to see the best Christmas gifts in 2012 for rich people.

Note: While this is a comedy article, scroll down for the real deal in gifts for millionaires at great prices!

I just left a fellow lensmaster's lens " Gifts for Millionaires" where he proffered a "wealth" of information on gift giving and millionaires. The emphasis was that these guys and gals have it all. What would they enjoy receiving? What can one (who isn't rich) afford to give without painful regret? These posers prompted me to write about the joy of giving--particularly to a millionaire!

See more of The Donald's wigs below-courtesy of Amazon!

Rich People Like Gifts Too!

I wanted to experience the joy of gift giving for myself. What better way to succeed in my quest for joy than to give to millionaires?

With the most notable of the rich in mind, I've settled on the following to populate my list: Donald Trump, Lil' Wayne, Brittney Spears and Paris Hilton. Because I'm like most--strapped for cash--I will give my time and, ahem, effort in the form of certificates.

My Christmas List of Giving Time and Effort:

I will spend the better part of the year at your Plaza.

There, I will save you money as I lavish, I mean check, the amenities for quality.

I will measure the water pressure of the spa tub in one of the penthouses. This entails a one hour (each evening, I'm reliable) soak with the full jet power features of the tub and measure the effectiveness of your complimentary bath soaps, lotions, candles, robes and slippers.

I'll frequent, I mean visit the bar at happy hour (hour of my choice) and taste, I mean test, the wine for smoothness. I'll write up an order, I mean a report, for any wines that might be absent from the cellar.

I'll also indulge, rather, I'll sample the cuisine offered by your top chef for his/her ability to handle special orders. I won't leave any amenity untouched, I promise!

P.S. I love your hair!

Oh, the JOY of giving!

OOPS! I DID it Again (I over-extended myself)!

For Miss Britney:

I know I'm really putting myself out there with this, but friendship is everything. I promise to adorn, I mean, wear every article of clothing you buy before you put it on.

Someone as delicate as yourself might find a garment itchy or tight. But rest assured, I'm going to help you! While wearing your clothes (I can multi-task), I'll personally meet . . .er, interview all those male dancers. It must be tough for you to have to reject some of them. Not to worry, I'll personally dance with each and every one of those gorgeous, hard-bodied, I mean, fit, young men.

You don't mind if I crash, I mean rest, at your place a few nights? I can only stay a few nights because I'm committed to my friendships with The Donald and Lil' Wayne. I'll do these things for as long as you need me. Friendship and giving doesn't stop at Christmas!

Oh, the JOY!

It's All About Appearances!

For Miss Hilton:

I'll be pretty busy, but I'm stepping up to the plate as a friend, here. I know appearance is everything, rather, important to you.

My gift to you is to personally treat . . . er, avail myself to your less experienced hair and makeup staff. I'm talking about those that are fresh out of those top-notch beauty colleges with all the latest styles, looks, and techniques, uh, rather, I mean newbies. I don't mind being the guinea pig for you, dear friend.

Also, it must be pretty scary flying in that private jet, but take note: I'll handle the ride as I checkout, ah, interview the pilot and

check the seats for comfort.

Lastly, all the paparazzi must be annoying; I'll stand in front of you to shield you from the flash. Your eyes must be so taxed by those white spots! I sure hope those new hair and makeup folks know what they're doing.

Anyway, I'd love to help with the dog and all, but you know I'm allergic.

More self-sacrifice!

For Lil' Wayne:

I'll give your Rolls Royce a spin, rather test drive, daily and report on any problems with the Phantom's acceleration, particularly around curves and Rodeo Drive. I certainly hope you live near Rodeo; it's a tough course, but I'll take the challenge for you, my dear friend!

Although I'll be commuting between Donald's place and yours, I'll make sure to park it VIP as I'll be using, I mean checking, out his parking facilities as part of my gift to him.

Surely, you'll understand if I have to lavish myself, I mean hang, at your place for a few to give the car a rest before heading back to Donald's. I have a HUGE commitment to him, and I aim to keep it.

Boy, this is getting TOUGH!

When buying gifts for a millionaire who obviously has everything he or she wants, one must be extra diligent when deciding what to give. Here is a collection of fossils that may be framed for museum quality art pieces, or incorporated into tile work in baths. Unique and thoughtful, these fossil fishes are truly one of a kind!

Appeal to your millionaire's taste for individuality without exhausting your sanity. Here are some rare fish fossils for that rare millionaire on your gift list.

Millionaires all have this in common: they spend their lives reaching for the stars! Appeal to their celestial habits with these great telescopes. A sure hit for the millionaire's office!

The millionaire gift list should include a rare book or two for their personal library. Here's some rare literary finds that are sure to please.