ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

7 Funny Christmas Poems

Updated on December 16, 2016

Under the Mistletoe


I DID not know she'd take it so,

   Or else I'd never dared;

Although the bliss was worth the blow,

I did not know she'd take it so.

She stood beneath the mistletoe

So long I thought she cared;

I did not know she'd take it so,

Or else I'd never dared.

                              Countee Cullen


Christmas Fun

The tempting gifts are tantalizing;

About opening them, we are fantasizing.

The holiday foods are appetizing;

Our excitement and joy are growing and rising;

Our hearts and minds are harmonizing;

Jolly Christmas fun we're maximizing!

Joanna Fuchs

The Little Elf-man


I met a little Elf-man once,

Down where the lillies blow.

I asked him why he was so small,

And why he didn't grow.


He slightly frowned, and with his eye

He looked mr through and through.

"I'm quite as big for me," said he,

"As you are big for you."

   John Kendrick Bangs


A Santa Claus Pretender



So I pretend to believe

In Santa Clause you see,

The more I pretend,

The more I pretend,

The more gifts there are for me.


Grandma's such an easy one.

She asks, "Have you been good all year, so Santa wil come?"

With teeth held tight and fingers crossed,

behind my back,

I lie like so many a kid must,

"Yeah I've been,

I've been really good,

truly good"

So I can get even more stuff.


I don't see my daddy too much,

But when, and if, I do,

I don't pretend to beleive in Santa Claus,

'Cause if my dad happens to come by,

Santa has already made my wish come true.

D. Alsup


The Snowball Fight

Mom and I shoveled the walk,

Late Christmas Eve that night,

So when the relatives arrived in the morning,

No ice would be in sight.

We slipped and slid and had some fun

While salting to melt away,

What could be a dangerous spot for adults,

But oh, what fun for a kid at play.

Well, little did we know,

Some folks arrived too early,

They piled out of 2 SUV's, 1 van and 1 4x4,

Something about not getting caught up

In a storm on the holiday no more.

To all of our surprise, they started slipping and sliding,

"Oops don't drop those pies".

And the snow ball fight began,

Whoose! Right past my eyes.

I thought it was my cousin,

He's the same age as I,

But it was Big Mamma, my grandma,

To my surprise.

I reached to pack my ammunition,

To lightly tap her back.

Then before I knew it,

All my uncles, cousins and aunts

Were in the act.

"Good packing snow", one said.

"Yeah man. Watch your head"

"Grab that pot of greens"

"Get that turkey in that door"

I'm not going to show your mamma,

No mercy any more",

"Watch out mama!"

"I got him, she yelled!"

Then she pulled me and my cousin down,

And we all laughed and laughed, as we fell

On the snowy, less icy ground.

I'll never forget that Christmas Eve!

Boy, what fun we had!

D. Alsup

Christmas Goodies

Peppermint oatmeal cookies,

Chocolate Santa Clause,

Hot apple cider,

Assorted popcorn in a tin.

How many candy canes

Will it take,

To give me a tummy ache again?

D. Alsup


It's 10 below here in Michigan,

I need to be on a tropical island.

Our heater is busted,

It kicks, then it's stuck.

I won't get disgusted.

This holiday sucks.

By Lil Z (Age 12)


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)