Another Mother's Day Remembrance
"Being a Mother Is Learning Strengths You Didn't Know You Had and Dealing With Fears You Didn't Know Existed"
The one thing I wanted more than anything else when I was growing up, was to be a good Mom.
I vowed to be better to my own children than my mother was to me. That statement isn't made out of spite It is simply a fact which children of an alcoholic parent grow up knowing. I was lucky enough to have great role models aunts and friend's mother's as I was growing up.
It was at their houses that I saw and learned what being a good Mom was all about. They showed me, without knowing it, what it meant to love their children unconditionally. But even more than that, they showed me through their actions, that not everyone struggled to be happy. In those homes, happiness came easily and contrasted greatly with what I knew at my home.
But despite my Mother and her alcoholism, as I grow older, I am now able to recognize much that she gave me and taught me. And whatever is good about me, In many ways, is very much because of her. It is that good, that I have tried to channel into being the kind of mother I always wished for when I was young. I know I have failed at points, but no one is perfect and what is important is knowing that when you fail, why you fail, and resolving to try harder the next time.
So every year on Mother's Day, I honor her for her triumphant ability to stop drinking, for overcoming her fear of raising her only child alone after my Dad died, and for keeping a roof over my head, clothes on my back and for teaching me right from wrong (despite my intentions otherwise at times!) for showing me the difference between a marigold and a petunia and for reminding me that anything worth doing is worth doing right.
I believe she tried to do her best when some days even getting out of bed was too much.
We all want to train up our children the right way.
Some just go about it in a different way.
Happy Mother's Day Mom. They say that as we grow old ourselves, we grow closer to our parents even if they are no longer with us.
They are right,