CHILDREN AND FAMILY POLITICS

Children are highly influenced by family politics. This influence of family politics on children if not properly managed can turn out to cause problems that we never envisaged.

Family politics is the tussle for the admiration of children that goes on in the family. Quarreling is also a kind of family politics. Argument over what should be bought for the children as holiday gifts and where to take our children to during Xmas period are all constituents of family politics. In summary, family politics is any situation where two spouses are not moving in one direction – including religious belief.

I will never forget what one of my little female friends did to her dad on one of my numerous visits. Amala (not real name) a 7 year old girl once cursed her dad to the face and said ‘’this is why mummy always regret ever marrying you’’

This may not sound so bad to some people because it has gradually gained a place in the heart of so many people – especially in this era of  ‘’moral decay’’. But, it is obvious that such character portrayed by Amala not minding my presence is one of the plenty ugly products of family politicking. Nothing on earth would have probably made that child to curse the father to the face and still had the guts to stand before him and quote the mother if there had not been a cold war going on in the family- family politics.

CONSEQUENCES / EFFECTS OF FAMILY POLITICS

• DISRESPECT: family politics breeds disrespect in a family. The example given above is a case study.
• HATE: the children are bound to hate one parent and like the other if the effects of family politicking get into their head.
• DIVORCE: parents will have no choice than to divorce when the heat of family politicking gets hot.
• INCREASE IN SOCIAL VICES: the products of single parenting is usually inadequate care that will ultimately translate into all kinds of social vices.

HOW TO HANDLE FAMILY POLITICS

Misunderstanding between spouses is a way of life in any marriage but, when not handled, becomes poisonous to the life (spirit, body, and soul) of our children. The best way to handle family politics is to avoid politicking in the presence of our children. Children by nature learn from what we do and not what we tell them to do. That is why today you see children of highly respected preachers misbehaving. You don’t blame the children but, the parents for not living what they preach from the pulpit.

We will all enjoy a healthy and happy society if we all can simply learn to engage in family politics in the absence of our children. At least, let them always see us (parents) as best friends. We can still have our misunderstandings but, we must pretend as if all is well whenever our children are around. But, come to think of it, are spouses suppose to be quarreling? Well, that is not the subject matter of this hub.

At this point, I would like to point out that societal politics is an extension of family politics. Therefore, we should try also not to involve in ‘’dirty societal politics’’ if we truly want to bring up our children in the way that they should grow. How do you expect to raise a saint when you as a parent engage the services of assassins? Think about that.

One of my neighbors once complained to me that the children love their mother more because she always give them gifts that he bought with his hard earned money. And all I told him was to advice his wife to always tell the children that their daddy said she should give this to them whenever she is presenting the gifts to the children.

Within months, he came back to inform me that the technique worked. Note that this practice wouldn’t have yielded result if the wife were to be a bad woman. So, women have a significant role to play as far as eradicating the negative effects of family politics is concerned. I therefore give kudos to the wife.