Children's Birthday Parties Under Scrutiny
The truth behind extravagant children birthday parties
Since I became a grandmother in 2004, I have noticed that the birthday parties of babies, toddlers and pre-school children are much more extravagant as when I was a young mother. Although the same things are still on the menu - a birthday cake, red and green soft drinks, all sorts of candy, potato chips (crisps), popcorn and ‘lucky dips’ - all of the rest have changed.
To name but only a few of the changes I regard as 'extravagant':
- The most extraordinary invitations;
- Balloons filled with helium all over the venue;
- Extraordinary large and wacky cakes;
- A theme with matching table cloths, serviettes, plates, cups, glasses, and what-have-yous;
- Jumping castles, swings and slides, all hired at great expense;
- A funky venue - anywhere, but the child's own home.
Why do mothers, supported by their husbands, put so much effort and money into the birthdays of their children, while the children are not even old enough to appreciate all of it?
"Because we love our children!" I've been told.
Nonsense!
The birthday parties I have under scrutiny have nothing to do with the love a mother has for her child, but rather with the love she has for herself. The truth is as clear as daylight: Mothers of today are competing against each other, each one with the hope that she will be admired and regarded as the 'Best Loving Mother'.
Have I said something wrong?
Let me compare today's birthday parties to those of 'my time'.
Invitations
In my time -
- We did not invite the grandparents; we knew they would turn up.
- We did not invite the uncles and the aunties and the cousins. All of them knew they were welcome to pop in for a piece of cake, and we would accept their absence without any hullabaloo.
- We did not invite our personal friends, except when their children were the same age as ours.
- We invited the friends of our children and their parents personally, and even via a telephone call, as they were usually our neighbors. (Nursery schools and pre-primary schools were still a new concept, and only attended by the children of working mothers.)
Of course, the family's tradition was still practiced: The person celebrating their birthday, whether baby, child or adult, was awakened with the 'Happy Birthday" song, sung by the entire family living under the same roof as the birthday person. Besides gifts, the person celebrating their birthday got breakfast served in bed, or at least a piece of cake. A party in the afternoon, evening, or coming Saturday, would be on the agenda, but nothing out of the ordinary. (If there was a special party during a person's childhood, it would have been on their 16th birthday. A formal 21st birthday party went without saying.
In the current milieu -
Every single guest receives a most creative invitation in writing with a RSVP date, delivered by hand or electronically via e-mail or cell phone.
Themes
In my time -
The theme of a toddler/child's birthday party was "balloons". There were many colorful balloons to be played with until they burst. The birthday cake was the shape of the child's age, and the appropriate number of candles were on it to be blown out by the child. Only the most creative mothers surprised their kids with a cake that looked like a Walt Disney character.
In the current milieu -
The cake and all paraphernalia have to communicate a particular theme: Dalmatian dogs, crocodiles, angels, sponge pops, flowers, cats, and so forth. Balloons have to be filled with helium in order to display the chosen theme. Even the guests, and especially the children, have to wear whatever compliments the theme.
Fortunately mothers come to their senses
By the time the oldest child turns seven, most mothers of today come to their senses and realize that they were on an ego trip for almost seven years. From here on their children are allowed to decide what they want to do with whom on their special day of the year. Most mothers are surprised, as their children don't want expensive and extravagant birthday parties. Their only desire is to spend time with their favorite friends, and this could be as humble as watching a movie in the local theater and/or having a milkshake in a local restaurant. They are even willing to have a birthday without a party as long as they receive the gift of their choice.
The birthday parties of my own grandchildren
I must admit that my daughter and daughter-in-law never competed against each other and their friends for the 'Best Loving Mother' award. Their only intention was to create an opportunity for their children to enjoy their special day of the year with family and friends.
Lotsoprezzies!
Relevant hubs
Comments
My daughters favorite birthday party memories were sleepover parties. They were fun, cheap and easy (that doesn't sound right, but you know what I mean!) The kids had a blast, ate pizza and stayed awake all night.
Parties that my daughter has for my granddaughter and a bit more pricier and I advice her that a party doesn't have to be extravagant, but what do I know? If a child is turning 3 they should have 3 guests, a 5 yr old should have 5 guests etc...but Faith has tons of mini friends:)
Needless to say the parties are always a success! My stepdaughter just had her twins first birthday party which was for grandparents only...hot dogs on the grill. We had a blast. To each his own!:)
Birthdays should be FUN no matter what AGE you are! We should all have a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!:))
Great hub and nice photos, too! Voted up!
Dear Martie,
Just felt like a party tonight and this was clearly the place to come! What love and joy is evident throughout this piece... your family makes you glow!
Voted UP & FAB! Hugs, mar.
I think I am one of those who felt I was forced to have these hysterical parties with a lot of games and surprises for my daughter when she was a child, and I never enjoyed it! And if the parties where dull, the kids where even worse! But I did it anyway, for her! Expectations among children are higher today, that´s for sure. Glad those parties where I had to be the play "leader" is over because I was lousy at it! Great hub!
Happy to have discovered your delightful and very sensible hub. Excellent job with the graphics! Parties have come a long way since I was a kid, that's for sure. And I'm not sure it's all for the best.
But if the parents enjoy planning and hosting it and the kids have fun (including enough sugar!) then it's a success. And good memories are made that last a lifetime -- or at least until the next child's birthday! MM
Martie my vriend - dit was nou 'n lekker partytjie! The children are wonderful. I think children's parties are fun, really. And now I have the bonus of not only an eight-year-old daughter who loves to party with her buddies, but two growing gandchildren who also have parties! Well at least the granddaughter does, the grandson is still coming up to his first!
Thanks for sharing the fun pix too!
Love and peace
Tony
a beautiful hub, amazing the then and now. I didn't know SABC was that new. Thanks for the read :)
...hard to be a party pooper when you get the privilege to hang out with beautiful people like yourself - and your hubs are awesome and beyond .......
I love a good party and I love this good hub. The children in the pictures just make me want to hug them, they are so darn cute. Great write. Loved it.
My most successful party was a Cinderella themed event where the girls came, dressed in their finest party clothes. I think they were five or maybe four. When they came in the door, we pulled burlap sacks over their dresses and they enacted the part of Cinderella complete with Fairy Godmother (my mother in law) and Prince Charming (my husband). They had to remove their shoes upon receiving their sack cloths, lol. It was so much fun and the girls loved playing the part of this beautiful Princess... yes, my nest is now empty, but I have these memories to inspire me when I achieve grandchildren, lol. Thanks, Martie!
Such a colorful and dazzling subject and array of pretties. I love a good party - but I was in my 40s before I really experienced one, I guess. Oh there were some parties when I was off at school - but neither the kind at home you remember having and giving nor the elaborate ones given today. My intro into them was mostly for and with adults for occasions like Halloween, someone's birthday or any other excuse.
I found that I LOVED to create a party around a theme and did 'em up right.
Now it seems that kids have more extravagant parties than any I remember adults having. I dunno. Mixed feelings about it. I'd written a LONG comment about my observations and concerns, i but think I'll just leave it at that. I honestly think people must do what they feel they must. Only time will tell if the results are for the better or the worse. A good party which communicates love and fun and brings on appreciation - well it must be a good thing.
And if they're going to host them - might as well get into the spirit and enjoy - and not rain on anyone's parade!
It's too easy to judge from the sidelines when most of the time, it's all done in the best of spirits.
I think your grandkids look like they are having a ball & have no concern about anyone's motives in giving it to them! They're adorable.
Absolutely delightfully delicious. I am licking at the icing from my fingers from that inviting cake and all the other condiments that go with a super duper birthday party.
My mom always did up a grand birthday party for us kids, no matter how poor we were at times. I have fond memories of having tons of fun, laughing till my gut split and enjoying so many friends over to eat, play games and sing Happy Birthday to me. I wouldn't have traded it for the world as a young boy.
Thank you as well for sharing those wonderful pictures taken and if that is you at the very bottom corner, let me congratulate you on your beauty and your kind soul that radiates. Peace and hugs my friend.
Martie, your photo collages are wonderful, and you may brag with the kids anytime. They are just absolutely adorable.
I guess I was lucky. My parents gave us a big birthday party every year, did not matter if the finances were pinching or not. But my mom planned it in the budget, like a normal household neccesity, right throughout the year. We were 4 siblings.
My poor kids grew up in the middle of Africa, in the bush, and did homeschooling. Friends were few and rare, and nature was their playground. They had few birthday parties, but made a party of every occasion when a couple of friends happen to be at home.
Great read, as allways.
Great hub mom. After the last bday party in July (Mia's bday party), I decided not to do that to myself again... most children do not appreciate all the evert put into the organising of bday parties and actually EXPECT/DEMAND OF the parents to arrange a big party for them with lots of presents etc. I will only sent cupcakes to school if the bday falls on a schoolday. And if it falls on a weekend I will arrange something exiting like for instance a movie at the teatre or a visit at the zoo etc. Not worth the stress and effort for me. Sorry guys.
This is so adoreable, and i know your parties are the best. The children look so happy. My Son and Daughter-in-law are party lovers, they never miss one and they love every minute, me, i,m more like you. I can do or not do. enjoyed your story and cute pictures.
Cheers and God Bless
My "parties" were always just my brother's and sister, mom and dad. Mom sang happy birthday and I got A present...a shirt, pants or other useful item. No invitations, friends clowns, pony rides or the like. Didn't need them. We were raised knowing there were many children who never got a decent meal, much less a birthday celebration
Ane excuse to socialise with friends Martie. :-)))
I used to love kids birthdays because I have a sweet tooth. I shall expect an invite for the next one you set up :-))
Martie! This is beautiful! I have have to admit- I am a super-duper party pooper! I could screw up a pooper scooper! So I'll run off alone, to my own Lake Woebegone!
I was raised in the 50's and 60's and the youngest. Up until my dad passed away when I was 13 I always had 2 birthday parties. One for my kid friends and one for adults and family. I just thought that was how everyone did it. Then when I got married and had my first child I had our adult friends over for her first party and had it catered. I went on later to divorce her dad and few years later remarried and had 3 more children. By this time these kids were just lucky to get birthday presents let alone a party. All three were born very close to Christmas. (-; Great hub, love all the pics!
While the kidds are absolutely adorable, the parents are just plain ridiculous. I know people who spent thousands of dollars to hire a clown for a birthday party; the child was turning one year old!?!
Maybe the parents wanted to stimulate the economy? That's not so bad...
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