Gift Cards Are Not as Thoughtless as You Think

Last year a saleswoman at Nordstroms made my mom cry.

It wasn't the first time this saleswoman had done thing and to be fair, we should've complained the first time, but this was a straw that broke the camel's back moment for my mom.

It's not that the saleswoman was mean - I would argue in some ways she's kinder than her younger colleagues who often talk to and treat my disabled mother like a toddler rather than a grown woman in full control of her faculties. They seem to equate a wheelchair with a stroller and will often address me instead of her. However, this particular saleswoman is extremely pushy while also talking and moving so fast she overwhelms the senses. Leaving even my father disorintented afterwards. And he wasn't even the one she was talking to.

Because of this and her increasing mobility issues, mom finally decided this year all the grown children were getting gift cards. One for the store of our choice, one for a restaurant. Only her great grandsons were going to get "real" gifts as one is not even a year old and the other just turned three this year.

Of course, gift cards are real gifts. Real money is spent on them and if the person does it correctly, real thought is put into them.

But every single year I see huge debates online, in advice columns, or in public about how gift cards are "thoughtless" and "not real gifts."

That's not to say they can't be thoughtless. For instance, I despise the store Target. I hate it with a burning passion. I only step foot in it if I really had to go to the bathroom and there's no service station or the like nearby. I find their prices too high, their products inferior, and their service flat out rude - no matter how nice I try to be to the retail workers. And after years of being yelled at over things like a 25 cent late fee for a book, I go out of my way to be nice to retail workers. I might not work retail, but I understand bad customers who treat you like bad bacteria over things you can't control.

Yet, inevitably, despite my stating how I prefer WalMart someone who insists that Target is "higher class" will get me a Target gift card. This is a thoughtless gift.

However, physical or so called "real" gifts can be just as thoughtless.

I hate Leo DiCaprio. No, I don't know why. I just really despite him. I think he's a terrible actor. I felt the same about Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson as the height of their popularity. Something about them just turned me off. Years down the road we found out what Tom's a Scientology wackadoo and Mel's an anti-Semitic buttmunch. Makes me wonder what we'll find out about Leo and another I despise, Benedict Cumberbatch, in the years to come. Yet, despite me being very clear how disgusting I find him, my brother still bought me the Titanic VHS when it came out.

I exchanged it for the soundtrack for the stage version of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's Evita instead.

I also have made it extremely clear that I hate the Star Trek reboots. I call these sexist, racist, homophobic piles of puke Star Wreck. (And yes, despite making Sulu gay, the movies are homophobic. Even George Takei was against this.) However, my sister-in-law bought me the movie thinking she could force me to like it because she knew Mr. Spock was my first childhood crush. Yes, she knew I hated it, but she thought she could change my tastes to suit her's.

Then there's all the times my mom bought me eye makeup that I couldn't apply and clothing too small because she thought it would "encourage me to lose weight."

Do you see where I'm going here?

If you don't let me make it clear - so called "real" gifts can be just as thoughtless as a gift card is accused of being.

Gift cards, when done right, can be more thoughtful.

First off, you need to find where the person likes to shop. Even if it's a store you hate, if you buy them a gift card for it, that's way more thoughtful than a too small shirt. Yes, that means despite the fact I wish WalMart would buy Target out, if someone prefers Target I would get them a Target gift card because that's where they like to shop.

Is my friend a fan of the band Ghost? Obviously a gift card they can spend towards Ghost merchandise is far more thoughtful than me trying to convert them into a Barry Manilow fan by giving them one of his CDs. Even though I absolutely adore Barry I would never try to force someone to be a fan. That's just not right.

Are they a DC fan while I'm more of a Marvel girl? Well, obviously a gift card for their favorite comic book shop would be the better choice.

Is there something they really want but you can't afford to buy for them? Well, even the smallest amount helps them save money on the item when they go to buy it. Maybe you can't afford to pay the $299 for a Nintendo Switch, but a $25 gift card towards it means that's $25 less out of their own pocket they have to spend. Plus it shows you're paying attention to what they're saying way more than a $25 lotion in a scent they hate does.

The fact is, we need to get over this idea that gifts have to be an item to be "real" and thoughtful. Because a person can put more thought and work into a gift card than they can into an ugly vase or a box of candy full of allergens.

I, for one, can't wait to get my Amazon gift card. The question is, will I put that money towards the Nintendo Switch or the video camera I have my eye on?