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Halloween Jokes For Kids: Sorted by Type

Updated on September 7, 2012

Are you looking for Halloween jokes for children? I don't know about you but kids halloween jokes always make me groan and giggle at the same time. Okay, I didn't make any of these up, but they are the best of the web that I have come up with. I tried to keep them pretty tame for the little ones, but there's still a bit of blood and guts! Enjoy!

Witches

Why do witches fly on brooms

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

How do witches keep their hair in place?

Scare spray.

Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry?

They're afraid of flying off the handle.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

What do you call two witches living together?

Broommates.

What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet.

What do they teach in witching school?

Spelling.

Source

Ghosts, Ghouls and Goblins

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?

Booberries.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

They're so wrapped up in themselves.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

Dead ends.

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?

A scareplane.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetit.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend.

What's a monster's favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

Bamboo.

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?

Boo boos.

Where do spooks water ski?

On Lake Erie.

What is a ghost's favorite party game?

Hide-and-go-shriek.

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?

You look boo-tiful tonight.

What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?

Boojeans.

What is a monster's favorite food?

Ghoul scout cookies.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.

Source

Other

What do birds give out on Halloween night?

Tweets.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office.

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster.

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone.

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?

To see the boogy man.

What do you call two spiders that just got married?

Newlywebbed.

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula.

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Wrap!

Vampires

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

To improve his bite.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

What is a vampire's favorite sport?

Casketball.

What song does Dracula hate?

You Are My Sunshine.

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?

Fangsgiving.

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

Bloodhounds.

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

They have bat breath.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building.

Comments

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  • Ruby H Rose profile image

    Maree Michael Martin 4 years ago from Northwest Washington on an Island

    These jokes are perfect for our kids party, thanks!

  • profile image

    mereaina 6 years ago

    I LOVE JOKES

  • profile image

    Indian jokes 6 years ago

    wow these are lovely jokes.

    indian jokes

  • Ruchira profile image

    Ruchira 6 years ago from United States

    Cute :)

  • profile image

    PARTY! 6 years ago

    Awesome!I'm a child and I'm going to use most or all of these at my party!Don't worry though,they won't steal them!Half of them don't have internet anyway(giggles)!!!

  • profile image

    gido 7 years ago

    please post some new stuff

  • IslandVoice profile image

    Sylvia Van Velzer 7 years ago from Hawaii

    Thanks for the Halloween laugh! I would like to share this in my FB today, Halloween. A Happy one to you and your fans!

  • profile image

    Cleo 7 years ago

    These jokes will be great for our kid haunted house!! Thanks!

  • profile image

    Peytton 7 years ago

    boogie man!!! he!he!

  • profile image

    th5thy 7 years ago

    i love halloween jokes they are so cool to me here's one why does a dracula draw blood because he likes to draw a blood

  • profile image

    Casey 7 years ago

    very cute thanx!

  • profile image

    mmzzm 8 years ago

    i did not even smile im looking for good ones one hour

  • quensday profile image

    quensday 8 years ago from New York

    Jokes for kids make me laugh. Bambi+ghost=bamboo haha

  • profile image

    george 8 years ago

    Q: What kind of boat does a vampire use?

    A: A blood vessel.

  • profile image

    Nickie 8 years ago

    Thought the jokes were veerrrryyy interesting.

  • profile image

    Amanda 8 years ago

    Cute! ;)

  • jeripie profile image

    jeripie 9 years ago

    hahahaha...great just great

  • glassvisage profile image

    glassvisage 9 years ago from Northern California

    Cute! I admit that I was attracted to the hub by the picture of gumdrops :)

  • rockinjoe profile image

    Joseph Addams 9 years ago from Standing right behind you!

    I'm no kid, but I thought they were awesome. Thanks for the hub!

  • Sangay Glass profile image

    Sangay Glass 9 years ago

    I'm going to tell some of these to the kids at work.

    Thanks

  • Paul Edmondson profile image

    Paul Edmondson 9 years ago from Burlingame, CA

    Alex, come on, they are for kids.

  • profile image

    Alex 9 years ago

    ok these jokes sucks they are crappy

  • Lela Davidson profile image
    Author

    Lela Davidson 9 years ago from Bentonville, Arkansas

    Personally, I like Mummies and Wrap Music. Sorta Thriller-esque?

  • Paul Edmondson profile image

    Paul Edmondson 9 years ago from Burlingame, CA

    I'm a fan of boojeans:) Cute.

  • Robin profile image

    Robin Edmondson 9 years ago from San Francisco

    These are great! Georgia's favorite joke is this one...

    What do birds give out on Halloween night?

    Tweets.

    Thanks!

  • Isabella Snow profile image

    Isabella Snow 9 years ago

    Scare spray! Ha!