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Halloween Jokes For Kids: Sorted by Type

Updated on September 7, 2012

Are you looking for Halloween jokes for children? I don't know about you but kids halloween jokes always make me groan and giggle at the same time. Okay, I didn't make any of these up, but they are the best of the web that I have come up with. I tried to keep them pretty tame for the little ones, but there's still a bit of blood and guts! Enjoy!


Why do witches fly on brooms

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

How do witches keep their hair in place?

Scare spray.

Why don't witches ride their brooms when they're angry?

They're afraid of flying off the handle.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?

A sand-witch.

What do you call two witches living together?


What do you call a witch's garage?

A broom closet.

What do they teach in witching school?



Ghosts, Ghouls and Goblins

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?


What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in people?

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

They're so wrapped up in themselves.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

Dead ends.

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?

A scareplane.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone appetit.

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?

His ghoul friend.

What's a monster's favorite play?

Romeo and Ghouliet.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?


What kind of mistakes do spooks make?

Boo boos.

Where do spooks water ski?

On Lake Erie.

What is a ghost's favorite party game?


What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?

You look boo-tiful tonight.

What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?


What is a monster's favorite food?

Ghoul scout cookies.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?

Coffee with scream and sugar.



What do birds give out on Halloween night?


Where do ghosts mail their letters?

At the ghost office.

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?

The roller ghoster.

What's the ratio of a pumpkin's circumference to its diameter?

Pumpkin Pi.

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

With a pumpkin patch.

When does a skeleton laugh?

When something tickles his funny bone.

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?

Spare ribs.

Why did the skeleton go disco dancing?

To see the boogy man.

What do you call two spiders that just got married?


What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula.

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?



Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

To improve his bite.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?


What is a vampire's favorite sport?


What song does Dracula hate?

You Are My Sunshine.

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?


What type of dog do vampire's like the best?


Why do vampires need mouthwash?

They have bat breath.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?

At the casketeria.

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?

The Vampire State Building.


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