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How To Throw A Party For Introverts

Updated on December 22, 2011

How do you host a party for people who dislike parties? It's the ultimate challenge and yet I believe it can be done, and done successfully. Introverts are people who do best in their own company or in small groups and who find large gatherings unpleasant, taxing and off-putting. Some introverts can become socially outcast, especially the ones who repeatedly turn down invitations to gatherings, and extroverted friends can sometimes become offended because of this. But if you plan it right, it is possible to have a lovely social time with a bunch of people who are usually most comfortable alone.

Keep The Guest List Small

Extroverts, and the world at large, seem to judge parties by how many people came. Odds are however, any party where there were more than ten people was not enjoyed by the introverted guests. Small parties have the advantage of being more intimate, allowing for better conversation and enhanced peer bonding. A gathering of anywhere from four to ten is plenty for an introverted guest list.

Turn The Music Down

Music is nice, but if it is up so loud you have to yell to hear people, introverts will not enjoy themselves. They have a hard enough time being bothered interacting with other humans as it is. If you put obstacles in their way, they may not bother at all.

They Don't Want To Dance

No. They don't want to dance. It's not because they're not having fun, it's because they don't express their fun by waggling their limbs in front of other humans.

Comments On Quietness Are Inappropriate

Would you comment on how uncommonly fat a guest is? Of course not. But some people feel that it is entirely appropriate to comment on how quiet someone is being. Not all people need to be flapping their lips continuosly in order to have a good time. Drawing attention to someone who is exhibiting all the qualities of a good listener is not only rather rude, it's a good way to ensure that they feel incredibly uncomfortable.

Round Table of Seating

Ensure that your seating is placed in a round fashion, or a square if you like, however it must not be too close, nor can it be too distant and everyone should be able to fit around it. This is because your introverted guests are likely to pick a place to sit and remain there for the duration of the evenning. For this reason, a dinner party works well. Introverts enjoy the security of the table and the distraction of food.

Keep It Reasonably Short

Perhaps your extrovert friends are amicable to the idea of taking the ferry to China after the coffee has been served, but odds are that your introvert friends just want to go home and sit in a room by themselves for a while at the end of the evening. This isn't because they dislike you or any of your guests, but because being in constant social contact with other people, especially people they may not know very well, is incredibly draining for an introvert. So be prepared for the party to end well before midnight.

Change Your Criteria For A Successful Party

Instead of judging your party's success by how many people came, and how late it went, judge it by how satisfied and happy your guests seemed to be. After all, a party is all about the guests and host having a good time, not about crow-barring people with quiet personalities into a 'party' mold they'll never fit no matter how much the rest of the world tells them how fun it all is to be loud and exuberant.


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    • KevinTimothy profile image

      Kevin J Timothy 6 years ago from Tampa Bay, FL

      Very original topic - as an introvert myself I'd have to say that the most annoying thing about gatherings is people pointing out the fact that I'm being introverted.