ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

I Turned 40 Today.

Updated on November 17, 2013
This is me.
This is me.

I turned 40 today. It is inevitable for lots of us to have issues with our appearance. I have taken a major hit over the last 7 years with the diagnosis of several serious health conditions. This has lead to weight gain, lost mobility and incredibly unpredictable swelling. Could be my hands, maybe my left eyelid - who knows?

Either way, I wonder: Do I have any hotness left in me? Hotness, in my mind, defined as feeling confident and attractive. I think I am actually lodged in my window of hotness. I’ve not made it all the way through and I could use a few buddies to butter me up to help un-wedge me. Then all I need is someone to keep a fan blowing through my hair, perfect lighting shining on my amazing makeup and someone Photoshoping my body in real time. I will wait for technology to catch up to my dreams. It's probably another 100 to 200 IPhone roll-outs away.

Joy can be found in the simplest things.
Joy can be found in the simplest things. | Source

Fun vs. Sick Factor

I ate way too much today and I am not sorry. Think about your tastiest Thanksgiving ever. You ate huge portions of everything because it was THAT good. Even though you took every precaution by throwing fashion to the wind and wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, surprisingly your clothing shrank by about four sizes by the end of the day. It could not have been anything you did, blame the clothing and cheap fabric. That’s what I do.

Anyhoo, my birthday was exactly like that except with gooey, pull apart cinnamon bread, Subway sandwiches and fudge. Oh, and the fact that I am lying in bed with no pants on at all and it is my skin that shrank those four sizes.

As I have aged, I have learned to gauge how much fun I have had by how sick I feel afterward. For example, I shopped at our neighborhood Walmart the other day. I had not been out of the house for a few days and I had a little cash burning a hole in my pocket. It was time for some modest shopping. When I arrived home my joints were hurting at about a level 5 on the pain scale. You know that ridiculous chart at your doctor’s office with the faces illustrating pain levels? I was at a level 5 or as I call it, “the slight grimace”. This means I had a moderate level of fun. I can have fun anywhere people.

I spent my birthday eve with my lovely auntie and my beautiful mom visiting a local craft show. The vendors were set up in the auditorium, as well as within the outdoor center of a local high school. We parked and made our way into the school from the parking lot. We entered the auditorium and I noticed that my back, feet, knees and legs were hurting already. I quickly got to the point that I could not think beyond my body. I had to keep eyeballing the area to plan ahead and spot the next chair, picnic table, ledge or sturdy person on which I could perch my aching self. I was ready to force any person wisely using their scooter to scootch over and share the ride. I only need room for one bun honestly. Just a bun. Is that too much to ask?

By the end of the day I had treasured the amazing laughs I had with my auntie, mom and uncle and my body was screaming out in pain. My uncle made us laugh until my mom and I both peed our pants. By the time I got home, I was in terrible pain and my pants were wet. I got all freshened up, downed some Advil and pain medication and laid down to recover. I was at the “kill me now” level of pain and I could not have been happier.

I slept for a while and got up to the smiling faces of my mom and beautiful daughter. I went through the lovely gifts I received basked in my time with my girls. Clearly this was an amazing birthday weekend. I went from a grimace to a kill me now in about 12 hours. Clearly, I had a LOT of fun.

I cannot ask for anything more. I feel very appreciated and even though my body thinks it is 85 years old, my mind will always feel around 12. I am grateful for my loved ones and would not want it any other way. I admit that this milestone was much less painless than I imagined it would be. I feel terrible physically, but my heart, this not so perfect heart, is SOARING with joy and thankfulness for this life of mine and all of the joy, laughs and love that fill it.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • delaneyworld profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      Thank you Steve. I do have a great support system and I am always grateful. That includes my online buddies as well! My mom asked me if I would want a scooter in order to get around better in the future. Just 3 months ago I would have answered with a resounding, "No way!" The other day, after writing this article and reflecting upon our shopping experience I offer an immediate, "Absolutely!" I'm finding as I learn more about myself and move through the grieving process associated with my illness, it is becoming more important to have quality experiences in ANY way I can get them. It doesn't matter if I walk, limp, drag myself, have someone carry me or scoot on a scooter. If I can use a scooter or wheelchair and notice my pain less and my experience, family and friends MORE, I am going to do it without hesitation! Thank you for reading my article, friend. Sending you continued positive energy!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Your description of the time at the craft show is all too familiar to me.I am often in that same position as i struggle to enjoy myself and deal with the pain i'm feeling.You seem to have a wonderful support system in those around you.You have such a wonderful way of looking at life.I learn from you each time i read one of your stories.You have taught me so much!Thank you,friend!

    • delaneyworld profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      Thank you all so much! I am so happy to be in the company of such lovely ladies. Thank you for reading my article and thank you for your birthday wishes.

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 

      9 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Happy birthday! You probably won't appreciate it now, but 40 looks darn good when you hit 50, 60 or 70! ;D

    • Ardie profile image


      9 years ago from Neverland

      Happy birthday lady, and YOU are HOT! 40 is the new 20. Have the time of your life while you still can :)

    • SylviaSky profile image

      Sylvia Sky 

      9 years ago from USA

      Life truly begins at 40. The gladness of maturity and wisdom shows in your face! Happy birthday! I am 54 and only get more beautiful.

    • Anamika S profile image

      Anamika S Jain 

      9 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

      Many many happy returns of the day! I am 42 and when ever I go out I can feel heads turning my way. I know and believe that I am beautiful... because that's how I feel inside.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)