Little-Known Santa No. 15

The initial shock of seeing Little-Known Santa No. 15 significantly shortened the already-short lives of all those wee little elves that first encountered him. Appearing suddenly as he did, crouched and naked on the polar ice in the middle of a freak electrical storm, The Santanator at first seemed to be a bodybuilder, or a barbarian, or perhaps even a state governor.

But, no — once the cowering elves had provided The Santanator with aviator sunglasses, a shotgun, a Harley, and a matching set of red leather gloves and motorcycle jacket, they could clearly see that he was in fact a laconic Austrian cyborg from a generation into the future. And that struck fear and obedience into their little elven hearts!

Ever since, they’ve slaved under his all-seeing robotic eyes, fashioning toys and gifts, tinkering in his garage of Hum-Sleighs, and mucking out reindeer stalls. The most clerically apt even maintain his ‘Nice’ and ‘Naughty’ lists (for some reason, Sara Connor’s name is always at the top).

Take heed, one and all, for the Santanator has claimed, “I’ll be back! — on December 24^th!”