Little-Known Santa No. 2
Huff! Huff! Puff! Huff! Excuse me, Huff!, if I work out while I talk . . .
Yeah, I’m Little-Known Santa No. 2, but my friends call me Aerobic Nic. Every year — Huff! — on December 26th — Huff! — I start my workout regimen again, after all that Christmas bingeing.
You can’t believe how many Christmas cookies with milk, how many slices of fruitcake, how many roast chestnuts and plates of gooseberry dressing I’ve had to wolf down while me and the deer are flying hither, thither and yon.
And don’t get me started on how many pounds I pack on during these North Pole winters, enjoying Mrs. Claus’ Famous Reindeer Stew! (Trust me: you don’t want to know any details . . .)
So, I figure, if I just keep at this through May 14th, I might be able to get into that nice Armani anorak the missus found on her last junket to Fifth Avenue!