My Turkey Day Holiday

I have been directed in every way imaginable. Don't walk on the grass, mind the gap, stay right, stay left, walk this way, don't go there, raise your hand, sit here, sit there, watch your step, bend over, do a little dance, get down tonight, and the list goes on and on. Still, today I received a direction that was completely new and unexpected.... Don't step in the spinach! Until now I had never really considered that this was something to be avoided. I mean, who knew? Is spinach now a type of road material or decorative accessory? Well yes, according to my dear spouse on Thanksgiving Day. FYI, If cooking is not your forte then Thanksgiving is likely to be your Waterloo. Rachel Ray, Martha Stewart, Jamie Oliver, Mario Vittali, James Beard, Julia Child, and all the other famous and infamous chefs, your legacies are safe. You will see no challenge arising from our kitchen anytime soon although the flooring industry may be interested in exploring the possibilities for dried corn and mashed potatoes, as well as spinach. Consider all the homeowners wanting natural products for their "green" remodeling. It could as popular as solar energy, but I digress.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day which, for me, is the perfect celebration. No gifts, no religious themes, just a stipulated day to get together, eat too much, and say thanks for whatever. All holidays should be a version of this. Instead of religious days we could have "My God Can Beat Up Your God Day" or "I Believe in a God Day" concurrent with "There is no God Day" and "I'm an Agnostic Day". In lieu of Chinese New Year, Jewish New Year, etc., we could celebrate "We Have Our Own Special Calendar So Boo-Hoo Day?" or "We Don't Need No Stinking Calendar Day". For those remembrance days of events, and heroes, and special persons, the holiday, "Whoopdeedoo for You Day", would be a nice way to say thanks. We also need a special time to commemorate Fathers, Mothers, Grandparents, Siblings, and other relatives which could be "We Don't Choose our Relatives So I Am So Lucky You Aren't A Serial Killer Day." To provide a day in recognition of all the things not included in the aforementioned, a holiday declared "Miscellaneous Etcetera Day" would be perfect. Last, a day to thank our politicians and leaders who give so much and ask so little in return... "Presidential Pardon Day".

So I will be thinking about all of you as I eat my turkey while giving thanks for paper towels, handiwipes and your generous comments. So please be careful tomorrow.... Don't step in the spinach!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING HUBBERS!!!