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Twins

Updated on March 2, 2015
Fit for a queen
Fit for a queen | Source

Salt in the sugar bowl

Today (April 1) is the day when you can expect there to be tricks played, both by you and on you. For the most part, these tricks will be harmless, but you should remain wary and exercise more than your ordinary amount of care as you go about your day's work, play, and resting.

Some of the more elaborate tricks

There he sits, the man at his breakfast table, reading the morning newspaper. The big headline at the top of Page One is screaming out the latest news from Great Britain:

"Queen Mother Has Twins"

Now, that's something. The queen is into her 80's.

"Twins? At her age? I'd best read this story while my coffee is cooling down," thinks the man.

The newspaper article goes into all sorts of details about how happy the queen is to have twins arrive in her old age, how healthy the little ones are (although weighing but slightly more than one pound each), the pretty hair color they have despite being so tiny, and how the queen is making big plans for their futures - hoping all the while to be around when they mature. The article goes on and on about such things.

The breakfast coffee is now finished, and the man heads for his telephone.

"Gotta spread the word on this. Wow. This is some kind of news all right."

Lots of tricks you can buy, ready-made

Actually, you can buy fake newspapers like this one -- not everywhere, but if the local newsstand does not have a copy for you with which to spoof someone, they can be ordered over the Internet. Not all of these fake newspapers will have stories and photos of the queen's new puppies (her two new babies), but they may hit even closer to home. Check it out.

Shake hands, Friend

When we were youngsters some of us learned to make little surprise gadgets we called "handies." They were put together from very common and low cost pieces - a rubber band and a small paper clip. We would suspend the paper clip about midway of the rubber band, slip each end of the rubber band over the thumb and the little finger of our right hand, holding the twisted rubber band and its paper clip in our palm. Then we'd go looking for someone with whom to shake hands. Once the hands came together in a friendly shake, we'd arch the hand that palmed the gadget, giving it some space to twirl around. Usually, the twirling would startle the victim.

Things really got to be fun when the victim also had one of these homemade vibrator gadgets in their right hand.

Fill in the blank

April Fools Day is supposed to be a fun day. There is likely to be no end of tricks that a person can pull on those who unwarily come into view and gain the attention of a trickster. If you know of some good tricks and wish to promulgate some of them, HubPages might be just the place to spread the word about them.

Here's my "Dumb Poem" in celebration of the day, April First

There's no fool like an April fool

Folks all think it funny
to play their tricks on me.
"April Fool" is what they yell,
grinning trickily.

But on this first of April
their tricks roll off my hide.
People fool me all year long.
Today's an easy ride!

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    • profile image

      Jabo 

      2 years ago

      What fun Gus. The elastic band/paperclip is a great trick though I think I'm a little too old to start doing that!

      The poem is brilliant

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      హలో Venkatachari M - English queens always cause me to smile (and also to make a bit of fun of them). It was not by accident that I gave the good lady two little German "roof dogs" (known also as "badger dogs"). After all, I was badgering QE with my keyboarding, right? As to being a month early, I have to do things well ahead of time in that I am really slow now that I have added some years onto my handsome looks.

      I am happy that you enjoyed the nonsense.

      Gus :-)))

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 

      3 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very interesting. I was also excited to know what the twins are. You made it so funny. It's still one month ahead and you started right now!

      Voted up.

    • GusTheRedneck profile imageAUTHOR

      Gustave Kilthau 

      3 years ago from USA

      Happy Independence Day to Maren Morgan M-T, FitnezzJim, and tsadjatko.

      As you three lovelies noticed, I am late alive and ahead of everyone with some stuff about April Fool's Day. With the world the way it is and lacking any political clout, I thought it wise to beat the crowd by at least one solid month. Made it, too.

      No doubt but that I am going to hear from my friends in the UK for putting-on about QE, but she would likely think it good enough spoofery coming from a commoner such as I be.

      Good thought there about those little round paper cutouts in the envelope with the twisted rubber band and the little paper clip. Wished I had thought of that one, but with maturity, the brain tends to shrink in size and short-circuit in the memory connections.

      The poem is one of my oldies, in there with the rest of the 101 of them of which one is a real winner - but I am not telling anybody which of the 101 is "the one." Poems are fun to write and fun to read provided they do not cause a person to weep.

      By the way, April has 31 days in it this year.

      Gus :-)))

    • Maren Morgan M-T profile image

      Maren Elizabeth Morgan 

      3 years ago from Pennsylvania

      Fun hub. Today is St. David's Day, the patron saint of the Welsh. I, a Morgan, know about these things. I don't recall it being similar to April Fool's Day, but it is nice to get ourselves ready for the real day. Loved your poem.

    • FitnezzJim profile image

      FitnezzJim 

      3 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

      I too had to go check my calendar and make sure it was only March. Then I went back and double-checked.

      I recall the palm gadgets and also have vague recall of once finding something similar stuffed inside an envelope full of the paper tuits (pronounced 'to it'). Paper tuits are those little circlular pieces of round paper that are leftover from using a three-hole punch. Some call them round tuits.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 

      3 years ago from https:// www.consumeraffairs.com/ online/ hubpages. html

      Loved the poem, even though this is March 1st. Or are you going by the redneck calendar, which is only 8 months long...I hear they skipped every third month to shorten the work year.

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