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Ten New Year’s Resolutions Anyone Can Keep

Updated on December 30, 2011

Tired of failure

Are you tired of making resolutions that you break in two weeks or less? So am I! In fact, for years I chose not to make new year’s resolutions because they so seldom stick. Then one day my nutritionist mentioned his wife’s resolution, one she knew she could keep: Drink more champagne. While the notion seems a little silly, the point is clear: Why not set your sights a little lower in the interest of finding more success?

Prepare for success

1. Instead of resolving to give up chocolate in the new year, why not resolve to fully enjoy every bite of chocolate you choose to indulge in during the coming year? Getting rid of guilt is a great way to enjoy life more. Besides, if you truly savor every bite of this essential delicacy, you won’t feel such a compulsion to consume the entire bag of subpar cocoa-flavored treats.

2. Dance more. It beats resolving to get to the gym five days a week, to spend your evenings chasing the red lights blinking on your treadmill, or to jog through your community until you develop shin splints. Dancing is fun, and it’s a great social activity. You might burn some calories in the process; but, did I mention, it’s fun?

3. Watch more television. Who can’t do this? Make it your resolution, and lose more guilt in the process.

4. Wait for pedestrians in the crosswalk. I assume all my readers do this anyway; and if you don’t, you should. If you make this new year’s resolution, either success is eminent or the world will be a safer place for everyone. It’s a win-win resolution.

5. Call your [insert family member or associate] whenever you want. This open-ended resolution gives you freedom in two ways. If you have piles of guilt over not contacting a particular family member, friend, or business partner, make this resolution to free your mind from that burden. On the other hand, if you never seem to reach out and touch the ones you love, this resolution gives you permission to pick up the phone whenever the notion comes. Perhaps you’ll find your best friend loves to chat at 10 o’clock in the evening, after the kids are put to bed. Maybe you’ll discover that Aunt Harriet is awake at 8 o’clock every morning, longing to hear a friendly voice. Whatever the situation, make this resolution work for you.

6. Don’t read the next chapter of an uninteresting book. In fact, don’t turn another page once you realize the book you’re reading has failed to turn you on. It’s a new year. Time is ticking. Why waste another minute on something that should be pleasurable and isn’t.

7. If you’re still reading this Hub after the previous recommendation, make a resolution to use the good china more than once this year. This year someone special will have a birthday, someone that lives at your house will have a lousy week, dust will gather on unused knick-knacks, and dishes will inevitably have to be washed. All of these are good reasons to break out the special place settings. Besides, are they really doing any good locked up in your cupboard?

8. Spill something in the first week of the new year. Let’s face it: it’s going to happen. The earlier it happens, the easier it is to get used to the idea that imperfection is going to be a part of this year, just like it has been every other year since the dawn of time. Embrace this fact. If by bedtime on the last day of the first week of the year you haven’t managed to spill anything yet, tip over that glass of water you use to take your nightly pills. Clean up will be simple, and you will have physical evidence that any year worth living through is worth the mess that comes with it.

9. Let some of the things you start this year remain unfinished. As Richard Carlson points out in his book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, “When you die, your ‘in’ box won’t be empty.” Even if you survive this coming year (and I’m sure the majority of you will), there is no reason to believe that every project you start will be finished. Make it a resolution. You won’t be disappointed.

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    • profile image

      pengwenhsd 5 years ago

      I need to take #6 seriously!

    • Marie Gail profile image
      Author

      Marie Gail Stratford 5 years ago from Olathe, KS

      Thank you! It was fun to write and cathartic as well to think of all the things I can actually accomplish in the new year.

      All my best

    • profile image

      sestasik 5 years ago

      Hilarious take on resolutions. Love it. Voted up.