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The Significance of the Non-Invitation and How and When to Crash a Party
The point of most functions, be
they called parties, ceremonies
or dinners is to Not Invite people.
Although you might think this
snotty mentality went out with
Junior High School, it hasn’t.
People will spend thousands of
dollars to NOT invite people to
A perfectly suitable venue may
be free to members of an
That does not mean functions
will take place there, especially
when NON- Invitation is the goal.
In many cases the event is such one would rather clean the bathroom than go, however in a few cases one Has to Attend or else Lose Status.
When You Are Not Invited
There are times when although you are Not invited, you have to attend. If you don't appear, you lose status.
In many areas, whether political, professional, social, to lose status is more damaging than to lose your pay cheque.
If people think you are 'some body' and respect you, for you to NOT show up, unless you are in the hospital or out of the Country, means you are No Body.
And those same people who respected you are annoyed that they wasted such an attitude on a No Body like You.
In some cases, you need to network, and if you are not present, you can not make contacts.
Hence, when you are Not Invited, you have to crash.
Time is significant in a Party Crash.
For some events, coming early is
One becomes almost the semi-
official ‘Greeter’ and is seen by
the vast majority of persons who
assume one is of a particularly
exalted level to be so ‘appointed’.
Of course, as soon as one is seen by the Host it is time to leave. One usually wanders out, stopping to make their good byes to various persons saying something like; “I have to go, I have another function to attend”, which lessens the status of this function.
Arriving late is useful in that by this time the function is at mid point.
One apologises to the most highest ranking guests still on the premises, saying
that one was at another function. This, again lowers the status of this one as you
choose to go the other first.
What one must never do is arrive anywhere near the time the function begins.
How To Dress
It is never wise to be dressed too elaborately to a function one isn’t invited to. It is an embarrassment, as if one is begging acceptance.
One should wear something almost casual, so that it doesn’t seem they even intended to go.
For weddings, wearing a business suit is as far as ‘dressy’ one can go. One should be able to walk out of the function and onto a bus without anyone taking a double look.
Afternoon functions can be even more casual, for when people try to insult you or destroy your status by omitting you from the guest list, you retaliate by showing up in what might be considered ‘insulting’ garb.
Not that you wear rags or dirty things, just that you are totally not dressed for a party.
Your purpose is to return the
insult you have been paid.
You can do this in two opposite ways.
One, by making it clear to all and
sundry that you have not been
Invited and don’t mind a bit.
Two, by Crashing the function.
If you decide to Not Attend because you have Not Been Invited, make sure everyone knows that you haven’t been invited.
Treat the function and your omission as a joke.
Make not being invited sound like a seat of honour.
If you decide to Crash, make sure you dress down so that they can talk about you; “Imagine, I didn’t invite her, I didn’t want her there, and she shows up in that old outfit!”
Make sure you tell everyone you can’t stay because you have an important function to attend, and if you get near the buffet take the most expensive items then leave, even if someone invites you to stay.
When you Crash a function and then are invited to stay, the entire purpose of your action is thwarted, so leave quickly.