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Twas two weeks before Christmas

Updated on December 9, 2012
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And all is not well....

Twas two weeks before Christmas and oh, woe is me

night has again fallen

I unplug the tree


My soft bed does beckon

but as usual-Alas-

my husband's sleep antics

are a pain in the ass.


He tosses and turns

and hogs the whole bed

while visions of daggers

dance in my head


I spring up from slumber

my patience long gone

and sit in the dark

looking forward to dawn


For hours on end

I plan and I scheme

how do I fix this?

I want to just scream


I crawl back in bed

pull covers to chin

I move my leg over

and kick in his shin


He mumbles and turns

and I smile in delight

Merry Christmas to me!

I finally sleep through the night.


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    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I can so relate to this hub; meet my wife! LOL Great fun!

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      Ha, ha! Thanks billybuc =) I knew you'd be one of my first readers....I liken you to an old friend stopping by to say hi!

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Ha Ha! Holiday humor at it's very best. Wonderful rendition. I am one with a heart two sizes too small and I thank you for an awesome funny hub!

      Voting up and sharing.

    • Cathy Fidelibus profile image

      Ms. Immortal 4 years ago from NJ

      very funny! Whatever it takes to get a good nice sleep I always say :o)

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

      Great share. Thanks for the laugh.

    • carol7777 profile image

      carol stanley 4 years ago from Arizona

      Got a good laugh... Very creative.

    • beverleejb profile image

      Beverly Boisen 4 years ago from New York

      Hi I sure did chuckle with all words

      I read

      You certainly are quite a poet.

      And I am sure you know it.:)

      Merry Christmas!!

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      shiningirisheyes...thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed!

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      Cathy...thanks for reading and I agree...whatever it takes...hee hee hee!

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      Mhatter99 you're welcome! Glad you enjoyed =)

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      Hi Carol7777....a good laugh is so nice, isnt it? =)

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      beverleejb....thanks and Merry Christmas to you as well =)

    • beverleejb profile image

      Beverly Boisen 4 years ago from New York

      Your very welcome!!

    • oceanuniverse profile image

      oceanuniverse 4 years ago from California

      I love this, this was funny. This should be read during the holidays, will put a smile on your face.

    • moonfairy profile image
      Author

      moonfairy 4 years ago

      oceanuniverse..thank you! I was actually smiling when I wrote it =)

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