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Twelve Frightfully Bad Halloween Promotions

Updated on October 5, 2017
bethperry profile image

Beth is a homemaker and professional author. She lives with her family close to the scenic Smoky Mountains of East Tennessee.

Halloween (Samhain) is my very favorite holiday. I just love so much about it: the witchy connotations, the pagan traditions, the happy trick-or-treaters at the door, the costume parties and, of course, all the delicious treats! Of course, the giants of the retail world have managed to over-commercialize the holiday. And it often feels the fun spirit of Halloween is totally unrecognized by merchants. Luckily, most of us have not let this decided indifference ruin Halloween for ourselves and loved ones. It can also be amusing to see the outrageous lengths some go to in the effort to merchandise Halloween.

The following list presents twelve of the worst (and funniest) Halloween promotions to have ever seen the light of day.

This promotion lets us know if old-fashioned haints and boogers aren't spooky enough, we also have zombified livestock to deal with.

Jesus must watch a lot of television, huh?

They're only paying minimum wage for a specialty position like this? Bernie Sanders needs to get on this pronto!

Because pumpkins are out of season, right?

Well, I guess it's nice at least one pharmacy has come up with a better alternative to the push, push, guilt, guilt way of selling multiple vaccinations.

I wonder if the parents of the winning child honestly expect the poor kid to someday say thanks, mom and dad?

I heard the winning runner was later disqualified for steroid abuse.

Game of Thrones is getting more horrifying by the season.

Years before JK Rowling gave Harry Potter and friends candy with disgusting tastes, there was Twisted Flossy's. A local ice cream parlor, the owners established themselves in pioneers of strange and often gross dairy treats. Their primary patrons were young kids like my high school friends. My favorite item on the menu was their spaghetti and meatball milkshake. Alas, in the late 80's the owners of Twisted Flossy's retired and moved to the far-off Bahamas. But their once popular frozen dairy delights have not been forgotten by those of us who remember.

I suspect the web contributor for this animal rescue is either mean-hearted or simply wants to be of service to meth junkies. Either way, I think with luck and prayers, little Tweak should find a loving new owner by Christmas! Let's just hope she's not a biter.

Sounds to me like Jesus won't be feeling too welcome at this place Halloween night!

But just like Jesus told KISS, and KISS passed the message on to us: God gave rock-n-roll to you, God gave rock-in-roll to you, God saved rock-n-roll for everyone.

© October 6, 2017 by Beth Perry


Submit a Comment

  • Angel Guzman profile image

    Angel Guzman 5 months ago from Joliet, Illinois

    Lmao wow

  • DDE profile image

    Devika Primić 5 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

    These experiences concerning Halloween are adventurous and taken to heart to some participants.