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What To Do If Your Boyfriend Or Husband Has Lousy Taste In Gifts

Updated on February 27, 2012

Most men don’t like to shop and buying gifts falls in this area. Since they don’t like to shop some are lousy gift givers or even worse, he doesn’t remember and gets you nothing. For him, finding gifts for her is a mystery so we need to help him out.

Many men don't know what women want.

I’ve heard this happens, I’ve been lucky enough to have a caring doting husband that always remembers but some women aren’t so lucky. Most men just aren’t into the whole gift-giving thing. Either they don’t like to shop, are not very good at coming up with ideas or have bad memories.

Don’t take it personally unless he’s an over-all inconsiderate man. If every other aspect of your relationship is going great and he is giving and loving in every way except when it comes to holidays and important dates he’s still a keeper.

Gifts are important.

To men who might be reading this, gifts are important to women. If she tells you it doesn’t matter or that it’s okay, she’s just being nice. Don’t believe it. After her birthday when she’s distant, cranky or nitpicking: that’s why. Understanding women isn't easy but there are clues, you just have to look for them.

Finding the perfect Christmas gift, best Valentines gift or Mother's Day gifts can be difficult. It doesn't have to be an expensive gift and if you've waited until the last minute you can have flowers delivered or if you are on a tight budget you can bring them in person. Cheap flowers can be picked up at most grocery stores.She likes to know you are thinking of her, knowing you remembered her special day.

Most women aren’t as particular about presentation as you might think. I have a son who wraps gifts with newspaper print and secures them with duct tape. He’s even used paper sacks and black trash bags; whatever he has on hand. I don’t care and am tickled to death he remembered.

If you want a better presentation you can buy gift bags or boxes that are decorated to keep on hand in a tub under the bed or in a closet. All he has to do is put it in the bag or box and voila, he’s done.

Bad Gift Guy-

First we’ll cover the guy who tries but just doesn’t have a clue what you want. He is trying so we’ll give him an “E” for effort. Better than nothing at all although the woman opening a chain saw or fishing pole might disagree.

Here’s what you do ladies. At least a month before your birthday, holiday or anniversary drop hints. Depending on the guy you may have to be more direct. Some men are attentive and will hear you say, “Oh, I love that, I’d really like to have one of those.” But then there are some with stock market statistics and sports scores floating around in his head and he might need a bit more help.

Men are visual, they need something they can put their hands on or see. If what you want is in a catalog, show him the picture, mention you like it or want it and leave it laying around folded open to that page with an X on the picture of the item.

If he’s really preoccupied or needs even more help you might go ahead and say, “You know my birthday is coming up, if you are trying to think of something to get me this would be a good idea.” You can send him an email with the page attached. I know it’s not very subtle but some need a lot of help in this area.

Being able to order something from a catalog or online is a plus for guys; most would rather have a root canal than have to go shopping.

He should take the bait. If not we’ll move on to tip number two.

Do your own shopping.

If you are married to him and have a joint bank account simply buy it and tell him, “Look what you got me for my birthday. Do you want me to wrap it for you or do you want to?” It can’t get any easier than that.

Most men will breathe a sigh of relief and be glad that’s one less thing they have to worry about.

Forgetful Guy-

Either this guy is too busy, time creeps up on him or it’s just not something he finds important. Regardless of the reason you will have to work on this fellow.

While out if you see something you like you might mention to him, “You know, my birthday is coming up, that would be a nice gift.”

If dropping hints doesn’t work as I mentioned in the first section then if you are married to him you may simply have to get used to buying your own presents. The plus side to this is that you will always get exactly what you want. Wrap it and make a big deal of opening it so he sees what he got you.

Always Remember Him-

If you want a gift be sure you get him one. Even if he says he doesn’t want one a.k.a. he doesn’t want to feel like he should reciprocate.

Most people appreciate being remembered with a little something. It doesn’t matter how small as long as you do make an effort.


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    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Lauryallan, most of them need help. I do believe it's that Venus/Mars thing.

    • Lauryallan profile image


      6 years ago

      lol very true Pamela, I'm turning 30 this month and I have a feeling I should take your advice... If past experience is anything to go by.

      Although I have to say it's not just boyfriends/husbands that can suck at gift giving. My brothers and Dad are kinda lacking in the inspiration department as well. It's probably the Mars/Venus thing in action again.

      We want them to know exactly what we want them to get us, without having to tell them. I learn't at the age of 12 that Guys very nearly never get this. And if you expect them to you will be disappointed over and over again.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Lauryallan, that might happen but some guys aren't very good at remembering so at least you get what you want.

    • Lauryallan profile image


      6 years ago

      Love your idea of buying the present and then telling him he got it for you. That's amazing because you get what you want but it's a little sad at the same time. I think over time he'll just forget about your birthday and you'll just have to keep buying yourself something.

      Voted up and funny.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Will, last year I got a food dehydrator and this year I've asked for a waffle maker. I love appliances. I know most women don't but I love to cook and they make things easier for me.

      TahoeDoc, I've done that before. I combined Mother's Day and my birthday one year and got laser hair removal for my legs.

    • TahoeDoc profile image


      7 years ago from Lake Tahoe, California

      My husband has decent taste in gifts, but when he doesn't know what to get me, all I ask is that he doesn't b*tch about what I buy for myself for, say the next month or so. Another deal we came to was the idea of the mega-gift; one big gift counts for more than one holiday. I get a housekeeper twice a month for a year as a Valentine's plus anniversary gift, for example. And he cannot then complain about how much the housekeeper costs because it was a gift. :)

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      "Mine just asks me."

      And I just ask mine. Then we play the "I really don't need anything" game for a few days. Then she suggests an appliance, or maybe some new home furnishing. But I know better than to fall for that trap!

      Sooner or later, she pretends that she doesn't really care, but if I absolutely insist on getting her something, well, she wouldn't mind having a ....!

      And that's what I get her.

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      JFay, they can't get it right all the time. At least he tries.

      That was funny, Will, thanks for sharing. Yeah, guys need a little help once in a while. Mine just asks me.

    • WillStarr profile image


      7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      The sooner we accept that we do not think the same way at all, the sooner men and women can finally get along.

      If a man actually knows what a woman wants without so much as a hint, he probably isn't interested in a woman anyway.

      Don't hint. We won't get the hint. Just tell us, flat out, and we'll get it for you.

      This explains it:

    • jfay2011 profile image


      7 years ago

      interesting. my ex always had very neat ideas for christmas gifts, but once in a while there would be a gift that I didn't really care for, but I would let it slide and not say anything

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Kikalina, dropping hints helps a lot. Now days my husband and I just ask each other what we want. Most of the time he buys his own gifts because it's technical stuff and I wouldn't know the first thing about it.

      Writinginalaska, that sounds beautiful. That should keep you warm this winter.

    • writinginalaska profile image


      7 years ago from southeast Alaska

      great hub, gave me a few chuckles. I finally have a fantastic b/f who is a very thoughtful gift giver. He just gave me a custom handmade calf length leather coat ( i did some research and found out it retails for about $2000.00) Lucky me, I think I'll keep him ;)

    • kikalina profile image


      7 years ago from Europe

      I like dropping

    • Pamela N Red profile imageAUTHOR

      Pamela N Red 

      7 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks, Cagsil. I thought that video was pretty funny.

      Stephanie, that is another way to encourage a better memory.

      Sunshine, gift certificates are another great idea. They can put it inside a card and they are done.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      7 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Fun hub Pam!!! My hubby and family have finally realized it's best to give me a gift card and say "Happy Shopping Sunshine" everyone is happy and no bad gifts :)

    • Stephanie Henkel profile image

      Stephanie Henkel 

      7 years ago from USA

      I always tell my husband that the gift he gets me will cost him a lot less than the one I will get myself if he forgets... ;)

      Cute hub, with some good advice. P.S. If we decide to keep him despite his gift giving deficiencies, we do have to do something!

    • Cagsil profile image


      7 years ago from USA or America

      Hey Pamela, I found this one on FB and figured I'd drop by to see what you had to say on the topic. I found some of it funny and much of it useful. Very nicely stated. :) Voted up! :)


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