Flower Girls & Ring Bearers? Cute or Perilous? How About If They Steal YOUR Show?
Should You Have Kids In YOUR Bridal Party?
Little flower girls and a ring-bearer can be cute accents to a wedding, but is the risk worth it?
Kids in bridal parties come in two varieties. One, they're as shy as church mice, or two, they're hams who think your wedding is their Broadway debut. Either way, you, the bride and groom can suffer if you're not careful.
The "church mice" are the kind that throw tantrums and burrow their heads in their moms' skirts, and are just too scared to make it up the aisle. The "hams" on the other hand, are in their glory and may even steal the bride's and groom's thunder. (At one wedding I coordinated, the ring-bearer and flower girl sat on the steps under the altar and had a rousing conversation throughout the entire wedding ceremony. The congregation was in stitches.)
Is either scenario one you would entertain for your wedding?
What's the Rules? Flower-Girls & Ring-Bearers...
Flower-girls should be children between the ages of four and eight. The same for ring-bearers. You may have multiple flower-girls but only one ring-bearer and whatever you do, don't put the "real deal" on that pillow, or your wedding rings may not make it up the aisle.
The reasoning behind this rule is logical: One, children under the age of four don't realize what their role is in the wedding, besides being intimidated and scared. And two, children over the age of eight, may be too large and appear gawky. Either way, the choice is yours.
Dress:
* Flower-girls should be dressed as children. The girls will be dressed in young looking gowns and not in sophisticated bridesmaids' attire, if applicable. Their dress, however, will be in the same colors as the maids' gowns--or even in white or ivory as the bride (or in whatever color the bride may be wearing).
* Ring-bearers are dressed in the same garb as the male members of the bridal party.
Children in Bridal Parties: Tips For Success
* If you decide to have kids in the bridal party, try to pick children whom you know can handle the stress or you're asking for trouble.
* Let the kids sit down once they make it up the aisle. Don't expect them to stand during the wedding ceremony. Have people in the front row whom they're familiar with, where they can sit. Provide a stuffed animal or toy, for example, so they can occupy their time.
* Let them go home after the wedding, or to the home of relatives or friends, where babysitting services are provided for those who bring their children to the wedding, like out-of town guests, for example.
* The key is to let the kids enjoy the wedding and reception as much as you do!
