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Witnessing The Holiday Shopping Spirit First Hand

Updated on December 20, 2008

As I am walking out of the shopping mall the other day. I had the priviliedge to witness the holiday spirit in action. The manic feeding fenzy that is "good will" toward man.

Anyway as I am walking out of a department store. I see a minivan back into someone's buick. Whether the van driver did or not realize that he hit the other vehicle, remains in my mind suspect. But folks are folks. Just as the minivan starts to pull away. The owner of the assulted buick just happens to walk out of the store.

He drops his bags an runs towards his car and the departing minivan. Yelling for the minivan to stop. The minivan starts to drive away, leaving the man to jump into his buick and speed into persuit. How if this isn't enough to warm the cockles of your holiday heart. The buick starts to hit the bumper of said minivan. Ahh...the holidays..peace on earth.

Eventually, the minivan comes to a sudden dead halt. Now with the buick glued to the minvan's bumper. The steam rolling out of the grill in the middle of the crowded shopping mall parking lot. Both drivers jump out of each other's vehicles, and let's just say thing go quickly from heated to violent in what seems seconds.

The men are yelling and throwing punches. Screaming, kicking and slamming one another against each vehicle. Evenutally the buick guy breaks the antenna off of the minivan, and proceeds to whip and beat the minivan guy mercilessly with the antenna from his own minivan.

The security, the cops and the paramedics starting rolling in and break things up. Mr. buick  is handcuffed and more than likely received medical treatment, then was carted off by the cops. The horsewhipped minivan own was stretchered and wheeled into the awaiting ambulance. Which took off with lights and sirens blazing.

Anyway on the local news channel today they broke the story about this "little incident" and mentioned the driver of the minivan had died in the early morning hours today. Doctors had cited the cause of death has van-aerial disease.

Holiday Shopper's Behaving Badly



P.S. Gotcha Suckers!


Submit a Comment

  • Barbie-Perkins profile image

    Barbie-Perkins 9 years ago from Cincinnati, OH

    St. James

    Even though this joke was pulled on me several years ago, I still think it is hillarous. This is a great one!

    Thanks for Sharing!  Have a Wonderful Christmas!  ~ Barbie Perkins

  • goldentoad profile image

    goldentoad 9 years ago from Free and running....

    jeez, people are nuts.