Bad Halloween Candy
Trick or... oh, man! Raisins?
Trick-or-treating is so much fun! The best part is when you get home and dump out your candy to take inventory: Snickers... Milky Way... M&Ms... Wait a minute, candy corn? What are you supposed to do with that?
Here's a look at some of those trick-or-treat items that every kid dreads, along with some advice on what to do if you get stuck with them.
The treat
It's fruit. Sticky, wrinkled, rabbit-turd-shaped fruit.
The trick
These things belong in oatmeal cookies and bowls of bran flakes. They have no business in my trick-or-treat bag. Cover them in chocolate, and then we'll talk.
What to do with it
Bake some cookies or put them in your breakfast cereal. Better yet, feed them to the birds - those little boxes aren't sealed. At the very least, check the backyard for a rabbit cage on your way to the next house.
If You Insist... - Get Newman's Own Raisins in Bulk
That's over 5 1/2 pounds of raisins, and 36 trips to the bathroom.
The treat
Waxy concoction of sugar, honey, and gelatin designed to look like corn kernels, because nothing says sugary goodness like a vegetable. (Yes, I know it's a grain. That doesn't make it right.)
The trick
With its festive look and waxy texture, it is clear that candy corn is a decoration, not a food.
What to do with it
Save it for next year, because yesterday (October 30) was National Candy Corn Day. Don't worry. It'll keep.
If You Insist... - Get a Lifetime Supply of Candy Corn
I'm pretty sure it's not really food, so there should be no concerns about shelf life.
Lewis Black hates candy corn too - (but he loves cursing, so watch out)
"All of the candy corn that was ever made... was made in 1911."
Which is the worst Halloween candy? - What do you hate to find in your trick-or-treat bag?
What do you most hate to find in your trick-or-treat bag?
Pennies
Abe deserves better than this
The treat
Cash money!
The trick
You can't buy anything with five cents. And if it isn't edible, it doesn't belong in the trick-or-treat bag (see also Circus Peanuts).
What to do with it
Not much you can do with this one. You can't throw it away (Who throws away money?), and you can't eat it. If it came from a little old lady's house, at least you can recycle the tiny square of aluminum foil.
If You Insist... - Use Recycled Aluminum Foil
Wrap those tiny stacks of pennies in tiny squares of 100% recycled aluminum foil.
The treat
Sugar, corn syrup, artificial color, artificial flavor, and (tragically, not artificial) pig-skin gelatin. Shape: peanut; color: orange; flavor: banana, obviously.
The trick
This isn't the circus, and those aren't peanuts.
What to do with it
Use them to build something, or make yourself a nice bowl of circus peanut salad. No kidding. Check it out.
If You Insist... - Get Your Circus Peanuts by the Pound
That's enough for two bowls of circus peanut salad. Yum!
Circus Peanut Salad - This is just wrong.
Real Halloween candy concerns?
Razor blades? I looooovve razor blades.
Lots of people believe that poison, needles, and razor blades are the biggest dangers in the trick-or-treat bag, but they're wrong. The poisoned candy scares in the 70s and 80s were all hype, unlike the real and unrelenting terror of rubbery, banana-flavored peanuts.
"The poisoned candy scare was a moral panic in the United States and Canada during the 1970s and 1980s regarding the threat that children could be in danger of ingesting razor blades, needles, drugs, or poison introduced to candy by tampering, especially during traditional Halloween trick-or-treating. Apart from one incident (actually an act of premeditated murder by a trick-or-treater's father), there have been no recorded incidents of deliberately poisoned candy during Halloween or any similar occasion."
The treat
Colorful discs in chocolate, lemon, lime, orange, clove, wintergreen, cinnamon, and licorice. As you might expect, the pink one is the wintergreen.
The trick
I would have thought sidewalk chalk would crumble, but apparently it slices up quite nicely.
What to do with it
Donate it to a teacher. School budgets are tight, and all the pretty colors will help hold the kids' interest more than the plain old white chalk.
If You Insist... - How About a Giant Box of Necco Wafers?
The only thing worse, er... better than a package of Necco wafers is a 5-pound bag of Necco wafers.
NECCO Wafers Jingle - This pretty much sums it up.
Christmas Candy Corn? I'm So Confused - I don't get it
OK, so I get that candy corn is popular at Halloween because of the festive fall colors and because no one can figure out if corn is a vegetable or a grain so we've all agreed to call it a candy. But Christmas candy corn? This I do not understand.
They call it reindeer corn. Because that makes sense.
Buy Some Real Candy Instead
M&Ms have it all: chocolate, peanuts, pretty colors. This is what candy is supposed to be.
Related
Sound off if you love circus peanuts!
They're a bit more edible than those wax bottles we used to eat with who knows what liquid toxin inside, then we chewed the bottle!
I prefer real peanuts instead.
great ideas for hallween :)
I hate, hate, hate circus peanuts!
Sorry me too love all these .
CLARK BARS! Blergle!
I can handle about one of those peanuts every few years; they're kind of disgustingly sweet (but that salad thing was definitely over the top - eeew ;o) Fun candy lens, although I think I feel a sugar coma coming on....
*laugh*
How much do we get paid to try?
The only things I'd heard of were raisins, pennies and M&Ms - clearly we're missing out in the UK and that's something to be grateful about. Oh, we also have aluminium foil.
LOL! Circus Peanut Salad?! Too funny. Very cute article. Angel Blessings. :)
This is a nice, yummy lens. Sad for the father who killed his son, but at least that was a one-off event. Nice read!
the sad thing is that i love everything on this list.
so cute!
You choose some incredibly blah, icky Halloween candy, especially those Necco wafers. Why bother?
This is so funny. Can't wait until my daughter is old enough to taste a candy corn and a circus peanut. lol. My grandmother actually likes those.
I've never eaten one before, but I have a friend who actually loves them. :)
there are a lot of nasty candies out there!
I used to dislike candy corn until I found some great recipes for a candy corn Halloween! I even have a candy corn cup cake recipe!
Blessed :)
Circus Peanuts, Yuck! LOL...have a happy Halloween! ^^..^^
Candy corn is definitely the worst! But I never knew they had Christmas themed candy corn =)
Really special, and some candy looks good to eat. :)
that got me in a Halloween mood
Fun lens idea. It is a mystery how circus peanuts have withstood the test of time.
Just this year, for the first time, I tried candy corn mixed with peanuts. It tastes a lot like a Pay Day candy bar. Really. I've always hated candy corn, but now I know how to eat it where I won't hate it.
I'm with you. Circus peanuts are nasty. Love the funny take on icky Halloween candy. For years my dad gave out packs of regular peanuts at Halloween, much to my chagrin as a child (and as an adult). Peanuts are a regular day snack, not a trick-or-treat worthy item...unless they're covered in chocolate.
This was funny! If you want to avoid "bad candy," buy organic!
I'd rather have real peanuts. I remember the one tiny tootsie roll being the most disappointing candy. It would always be the house with the longest driveway. You'd go up the mile long driveway, can't see through the mask, while nearly catching fire on the little candles in bags lining the treacherousness uneven path, stumbling over flower pots, climbing what felt like a million brick steps...can't see, can't breath... Then, the moment arrives -- they open the door and fling out one tiny tootsie roll.
Nice lens.
Very funny. But... I love candy corn!
One of my all-time favorite Halloween lenses! And yes, I hate circus peanuts :(
looks like the raisins are the only edible Halloween candy treat you get... I love them and Halloweens are no exceptions...
hilarious, true, and ~blessed~ Loved this lens.
I HATE them. Styrofoam yucky stuff. Loved the laugh. :D
Cute!
get some idea to buy for my kid, thanks
I was laughing the whole scroll down.
i do not love circus peanuts --- you picked some of the ickiest "treats" possible. Do you think the people who give these out really don't like trick or treaters. Very amusing lens.
I don't know if it's informative, but it's fun, and brings back many memories of things I'd just as soon not get for trick-or-treating as a kid. Circus peanuts top my list...but I also dislike the huge jawbreakers that could literally break your jaw. Thanks for a fun, seasonal lens.
informative lens i am thankful to you for sharing. Nice job
A very funny lens, great job.
This whole lens makes me laugh because everything you mentioned is on my gross list. A plus
Me Me Me! Really Great Lense!
Too funny - and I can't believe someone actually invented a circus peanut salad - WHY?
Super cool cirus peanuts are gross. Right along with those hard fruit flavored jelly filled candies UGH! More people should be aware of this horror on halloween.
They are okay, but enjoy the cocoa candy corn the best. What a great idea for a lens. Wonderful ;)
Circus peanuts are OK, but I really loooove candy corn. Never had Necco wafers. I think pennies are the worst. Quarters, yes, even dimes are better, but not pennies.
Oh my gosh, this is sooo funny! Thank you for sharing this great lens ~ I laughed so much! Greetings from 'the land of eternal spring'!
I love Raisons. But not for Halloween candy
My oldest asked for a bag of candy corn instead of tooth fairy money. Candy corn good if they are giving whole bags of candy corn.
I would rather eat stale marshmallows than poop.
Hmmmm. I love candy corn. You can give yours to me. I can assure you they will not sit on the shelf for a year.
Some great candy in here -as long as it isn't raisins. You do nothing for yourself or the safety of your house by pushing health foods on to kids on Halloween. Everyone knows the drill, don't deviate.
I hate those black and orange packaged toffee things I swear they're made from molasses and broken dreams
Love it, good choice on the circus peanuts, I'd rather eat Elephant poop too.
No thank you on the circus peanuts.
Haha love all of your ideas and descriptions! Although I love candy corn, and like Necco wafers... Raisins though... blech.
I hate circud peanut there artificak and hey do not taste anything like a eereal peanut... no offence to thoe people who do like them... i like skittles,dots,starbursts m&ms
Candy corn is my FAVORITE!! I like circus peanuts too, but only in moderation as they are just so sweet. Neco wafers are good once in a while. You are hating on some pretty standard candies! LOL Yes, chocolate rules, always has, always will, but we've got show acceptance and love to the lesser appreciated candies. After all, they give all they have, just for our enjoyment. Still haven't bought my yearly treat of candy corn yet - have to do that this weekend. :o) You're probably not eating them properly. You have to consume them in exactly three nibbles. Hold them by the thick end and bite off the first color, then the second, and finally the last. Make sure their the real ones though, I've run into some impersonators passing themselves off as candy corn but were indeed not the genuine bonafide article.
Great lens, love it!!
I LOVE this lens, nearly as much as I hate candy corn (and that's a whole lot).
I used to give out quarters, but you can't even buy a candy bar with that these days. This year I'm giving out Hershey bars. No one ever complains about those. I love raisins myself!
Neccos are my favorite candy ever. (Except for the rogue chocolate ones.)
Hilarious! Lots of bad candy there, but the Necco are the worst!
Yeah, there's just some candy that only sells in October because nobody will eat it at any other time. It amazing how many millions of pounds of candy corn are made every year, lol! Thanks, refreshing lens.
The M&M's are the only ones that look good to me----probably because they're chocolate.
Bad Candy! Love it :D!
- AUTHOR
@GypsyPirate LM: Aw, thanks GP. I think it's my favorite that I've made.
I swear this is still one of my all time favorite lenses. I scare the cats every time I read it 'cause I'm laughing out loud.
I like candy corn. :p
Candy corn is awful. Your list is great. Nice lense.
@WhiteOak50: I like circus peanuts too, as do my kids : ).
Okay, CHRISTMAS Candy Corn = YUCK, but I LOVE regular Candy Corn - but ONLY in October. Maybe that is the key! ha ha. It's those yucky black and orange taffy thingys we used to send to work with my dad! He stuck them in the break room! ha
What a great idea for a lens. And I totally agree that your choices are really, really bad. Why do we keep buying them? Happy Halloween.
@anonymous: I've never gotten money. But I do like Necco wafers- to an extent- and I do really like REAL candy like the candy and of course the chocolate. Things like Dots and Hershey's are okay- things like Laffy taffy or non- penut M n M's are not as okay
This is cute! The one candy listed that I like is the marshmellow cirus peanuts?? Or at least I did 15 years ago when I last ate one.
Let's face it: Halloween candy really is bad, bad, bad!! Always after Halloween, people come to our Triage area sick to the stomach and other symptons not worth writing about here.
But it's good while it lasts.
Congratulations! You've been SquidBoo Blasted. Happy Halloween!
All time worst treat? Pennies and change that Ijust throw away!!!
nice!
Very cute!
necco wafers are my favorite candy. not snickers bar good, but they have there own, more subtle attraction for me. lay off the criticism or i'll have to place a roll of the treats as a suppository up your nougat.
yummy all that candy, but I eat Raisins every day...check out my "Sunmaid" lens 5*s
Great lens, love the humor in it. And Candy Corn should be in the same classification as Christmas fruit cake... non-food item that will last for years.
Fun lens. Another addition: CHOCOLATE Necco Wafers. They take something great (chocolate) and something bad (Necco) and make a terrible concoction. Keep up the good work.
I agree with you on the peanut candy, but I love to eat candy corn. It's news to me that they are undesirable, huh. How to measure a belly button ring size
I LOL every time I read this lens - I should have known you'd like Lewis Black also! You have such a fantastic lens here! Thanks for joining us in The SquidBOO Home!
It's chocolate or nothing for me... Fun lens!
This is great. I can remember most of those back when I was trick-or-treating. Another quick addition to the list: Apples. And not the good kind. The kind that people leave in the back porch for a month before giving them out. Ick. Keep up the great work!
What a funny lens. I remember getting some of this stuff as a kid. As a matter of fact, I can still remember specific houses that always gave the 'bad' candy. lol Certainly *****
Hee! This is hilarious!
So funny! (But I have to admit that I like Necco wafers.)
Susan
wow, this is excellent--although I really like candy corn and circus peanuts :(. You are right on about the necco wafers though..
A GREAT BIG 5...sorry for shouting, I was just so twitter-pated after LMAO!!
Good stuff. Funny!!
A fiver for sure!!
Doug
LOL Rabbit-turd-shaped fruit! I love this lens! And I HATE those circus peanuts! Another candy I used to hate getting on Halloween was Maryjanes.
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