beware the cookie monster
In the dark and dreary nights
Of our intellect’s psyche, there are many fears
Which haunts, and torment our bewildered souls,
And terrors which grad upon our reason, and shred the very essence of our being.
For some it is the fear of flying, which prevails upon our heart to race against its nature
Or the dread of heights which plunge our delicate identity into an exaggerated panic
And manifestations of trauma and anxiety to envelop our face and body
But the strangest of all these fears
of an Oreo cookie.
I have a friend you see, a co-worker
Whose sister has a fear it seems, of this sweet and crunchy confection
Layers of chocolaty goodness, sandwiching creamy centers of sweetness and light
This luncheon companion of milk and children
An insidious terror within her eyes?
The story it seems, that when she was young, she remembers this cookie trying to bit her
And ever since no mater how age and reason, has shaped her mind
The sight still sends shiver along her spine.
Intrigued and elated by this unnatural fear
A plot emerged within my feeble intellect
Most uncharacteristic of my nature
To torment, this poor child, and play the most cruelest of pranks.
For Christmas was upon us, and the idea that flourished was that of innocuous present, wrapped within the usual cheer,
But what Oreo encrusted product should I send
Coffee mugs, or cake tins, or cookie jars
I searched the internet, for just the right idea.
And found to my delight a bendable Oreo man
I wrapped it neatly, within Christmas tidings and sealed it with ribbons and bows
And placed it in a box unmarked as to my identity
And sent it on it’s way, and waited and wondered
It was weeks until I heard, that when she opened it
She nearly peed herself
From that point on I became her nemesis, a counter foil,
For gentle ribbings and good natured jokes
So in this season of goblins and ghouls, when monsters fills our senses with good natured dread, I propose to you, an unlikely fiend, masquerading as our friend
The Oreo Cookie Monster
Is out there