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beware the cookie monster

Updated on October 10, 2009

In the dark and dreary nights

Of our intellect’s psyche, there are many fears

Which haunts, and torment our bewildered souls,

And terrors which grad upon our reason, and shred the very essence of our being.

For some it is the fear of flying, which prevails upon our heart to race against its nature

Or the dread of heights which plunge our delicate identity into an exaggerated panic

And manifestations of trauma and anxiety to envelop our face and body

But the strangest of all these fears

Is that,

of an Oreo cookie.

I have a friend you see, a co-worker

Whose sister has a fear it seems, of this sweet and crunchy confection

Layers of chocolaty goodness, sandwiching creamy centers of sweetness and light

This luncheon companion of milk and children

An insidious terror within her eyes?

The story it seems, that when she was young, she remembers this cookie trying to bit her

And ever since no mater how age and reason, has shaped her mind

The sight still sends shiver along her spine.

Intrigued and elated by this unnatural fear

A plot emerged within my feeble intellect

Most uncharacteristic of my nature

To torment, this poor child, and play the most cruelest of pranks.

For Christmas was upon us, and the idea that flourished was that of innocuous present, wrapped within the usual cheer,

But what Oreo encrusted product should I send

Coffee mugs, or cake tins, or cookie jars

I searched the internet, for just the right idea.

And found to my delight a bendable Oreo man

I wrapped it neatly, within Christmas tidings and sealed it with ribbons and bows

And placed it in a box unmarked as to my identity

And sent it on it’s way, and waited and wondered

It was weeks until I heard, that when she opened it

She nearly peed herself

From that point on I became her nemesis, a counter foil,

For gentle ribbings and good natured jokes

So in this season of goblins and ghouls, when monsters fills our senses with good natured dread, I propose to you, an unlikely fiend, masquerading as our friend

The Oreo Cookie Monster

Is out there

Oreo cookie monster
Oreo cookie monster


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    • KCC Big Country profile image


      9 years ago from Central Texas

      Searching on the internet on YouTube one time, I ran across people who were on Maury Povich's show who had fears of all sorts of things and they were tormenting them. It started out rather funny, but at some point you realize just how frightened these people are.

      My husband and I met on the internet and we first physically met when I flew to England for a 3 day weekend. I knew he didn't like spiders, but what I didn't realize is how much he didn't like spiders. I had brought a small plastic spider with me and waited for the right time and hid it between the sheets of the bed in the hotel room. He freaked when he found it and hasn't let me live it down since. I learned then not to joke with him. Some people you can and some you can't.


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