Everyday give the best Valentine gift ever

The massive Valentine's Day gift-giving machine rolls into action shortly after Christmas and we are assaulted by an avalanche of Valentine Day gift ideas. Who doesn't have some kind of product like hair gel, candy, clothing, cosmetics, aftershave, or brand-new suit that is the "perfect" gift for our loved one? But are they really the best gifts that can be given?

Perhaps the question is not what is the best gift I can give? Maybe it should be what is the best way I can show this person how much I love or care for them? There's a slight adjustment to the focus. Sure, you can say the blizzard of pink and red gifts showing up on the TV screen or in the magazine and newspaper ads are meant to show love but isn't there a more personal, more caring way to demonstrate those feelings?

A perfect expression of love often involves a degree of self-sacrifice. The ultimate is, of course, to give your life for someone. But there are a thousand smaller ways to give up a part of yourself in a sacrificial act of love or kindness that can speak volumes to the one you love or care about. Sure, it means you have to pause, to stop and to reflect on the person you want to honor, but that shouldn't be a hard thing to do. It's simply a matter of shifting the focus off of ourselves and onto the other person.

Ask, instead, what can I do for this person to show him or her that I truly care about them? What matters to them?

Do you prefer to take time to get the right gift for Valentine's Day even if it takes extra time and thought or do you just opt for the more commercial offerings?

Why not take a few minutes to brainstorm and find a more personal way of showing that person how much you care? Sometimes even five minutes of brainstorming can bring about a great revelation. Call it a pre-gift giving warm=up. Go ahead, grab that pen and paper. Now think about this person. Maybe even visualize them Now ask yourself the following questions and write down your answers as you go along.

1. What is the first thing you think of when you think of this person?
2. What does this person do that makes you happy or smile?
3. What does this person do that makes him or her happy and creates a smile?
4. What does that person want most in life?
5. What matters most to him or her?
6. What are specific things that this person has said to you that they would like you to do? Write down 2 or 3 things.
7. What would you like to do for this person that you know would make him or her happy? Be specific. Write down 2 or 3 things.
8. Think of one specific action you could take to do something for that person that would make him or her happy.
9. Think of one specific thing you could say to that person that would make that person smile and be happy.

You now have the raw data that can be turned into the perfect Valentine's Day gift for that person. Give a little more thought now to what you've come up with and try to think of actionable things you can give that will show this person how much you care. Go the extra mile, do a little more, give a bit more of yourself. You'll be the recipient in the end. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Love ya Jar - Here's a twist on the traditional Honey-Do jar. What jobs around the house or errands can you do for this person in the upcoming days, months and year? Write them on a paper or cardstock. Dress them up with a stickers found in any drugstore in the kid's section, put a creative label on the front, and tie a big red-ribboned bow around the neck.
2. Really, Really Luv Ya Jar - Same concept as above only this time you supply blank cards or strips of paper so the recipient can come up with the list of to-dos and errands.
3. Only For You - This is a gift that is not only involving doing something the person loves but doing something you either dislike or really don't want to do. Maybe it's going to the symphony or the ballet or going to a heavy metal concert. Set the date, buy the tickets and dress up the presentation a bit but make it plain that you WANT To do this because it will make that person happy. (Then be sure you're on ;your best behavior when you actually do this or it's all for nothing.)