ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Christmas Bat

Updated on December 23, 2016

Fa la la la la, La la, is that a bat?

Yes indeed my holiday tree is topped with a super snazzy rubber bat. It's one of those timeless Christmas traditions that my dad started back in the 80' pure accident. We don't have a special bat or anything, really any bat will do but it must be on the top of the tree or it's just not Christmas. Thinking about it I may want to find a classier looking bat...I think we can do a little better than rubber!

We also give out at least one a year to someone in the family in the gift exchange, gotta love tradition!

How it all started...

I'm sure you are wondering how the weirdest mammal on the planet has made it to the top of my tree...So here goes.

It's all my dad's fault.

My dad collected weird stuff, typically the more offensive it was the more he liked it. So naturally we had bats amongst other things hanging randomly all over our house...yes, Really. One fine December day my cat Harry (Hell bent on destroying Christmas) Knocked the tree down for the forth or fifth time...that was it. My father moved the tree to the corner were there was a hook & wired it to the mind you there was a bat hanging from this hook. Our day went on as usual.

Christmas eve rolls around & my aunt, grandmother & maybe a few other guests started with the "Where's your Angel" line & "Is that a Bat?!", "You can't have a Bat on a Christmas tree!!" I think, maybe, I just might have heard some racial reference to a bat & a black infant...I was 6 & my family was... well, a pack of rednecks that flung out racial slurs like most people use nouns....It was part of their Charm*.

*Charm /CHärm/ verb...used to describe horrible things my family said in the 80's with sarcasm.

However this is where they all made a serious error. You see my dad went out of his way to annoy people...this bat was the icing on the cake...or the bat atop the tree in this case. We should all just be happy the tree didn't end up under the shrunken head...and yes that really was an option.

Every year the same conversation, every year he placed the bat on the tree.

Why carry on the tradition?

Now in years past I always had a bat in the tree or out for the holidays but in 2007 my dad passed away (kicking & screaming, I might add) once he was gone someone needed to carry on his crazy attitude. Shortly after that I adopted a sibling group of boys & I wanted them to know a little family tradition that they missed out on.

My kids would have loved my obnoxious father that called me "Kid" & refused to shake anyone's hands because he was convinced they never washed them. My kids missed the gift grab where my grandmother used her cane to steal presents (and got caught) or that time we knocked the tree over fighting for a certain gift...that turned out to be a power plunger. Oh man, the fact that out of 30 adults in our house at Christmas, 29 of them chain smoked so much that we had to keep the doors open to see the other side of the room...remember this is going on during winter, in Missouri, & they were tossing the wads of gift wrap into the open fireplace to burn the trash!! (What were they thinking?!). All the while my grandfather was yelling that it was cold & to stoke the fire...which at some point made the house somewhere around 95 degrees, even with all the doors open to let the smoke out! It was so smokey in that small house that we would all be huddled by the doors gasping for cool air.

It's quite the challenge to carry on such ridiculous family traditions! I'm not nearly as dysfunctional (stop laughing, I'm really not!) as most of the older generations in my family. I want to relive all the crazy fun and pass some of it on to the kids.

We also have a rubber rat that gets passed around every year for the gift family may have some issues.

Would you add a bat to your tree?

See results
Fun Express Halloween Hanging Bats - 3 Pieces
Fun Express Halloween Hanging Bats - 3 Pieces

Classic and you can share with friends!

Gemmy Halloween Dropping Bat
Gemmy Halloween Dropping Bat

If your going to go bat you might as well go BIG bat!

Buffy Flying Halloween Bat - With Blinking Eyes!
Buffy Flying Halloween Bat - With Blinking Eyes!

This exists? I think we may need one!

Funny Soft Rubber Bat Toy with Elastic String (Black)
Funny Soft Rubber Bat Toy with Elastic String (Black)

He's soft and cute...perfect for Christmas!


What weird Holiday traditions do you have?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • MelRootsNWrites profile image

      Melody Lassalle 3 years ago from California

      I really enjoyed this story about your Dad and the unconventional Christmas bat. One year, I got a holiday Bullwinkle from Macy's. We have some conventional people in the family and as a joke my brother and I stuck Bullwinkle on the tree as our topper. Keep in mind it was a large stuffed animal, so a bit like King Kong on a sky scraper. LOL It got the predicted annoyed response which meant from there forward Bullwinkle became our tree topper. I think it's great that you keep up the tradition for your family!

    • CherylsArt profile image

      Cheryl Paton 3 years ago from West Virginia

      That was a fun batty experience. Thanks for sharing it.

    • paperfacets profile image

      Sherry Venegas 4 years ago from La Verne, CA

      I celebrate the bat at Halloween. Bat garland, bat greeting cards and bat wood and paper sculptures. It makes sense to me.

    • profile image

      shoputopian 4 years ago

      That is one weird tradition that's for sure, thanks for sharing and a Merry Christmas to you and your family, may the New Year be good to all of you.

    • aka-rms profile image

      Robin S 4 years ago from USA

      I'm so glad you found the time to share this... It made my morning. :)