Valentine Gifts For That Special Lady

OK guys, listen up! See that light at the end of the tunnel? It's Valentine's Day and it's coming at us like an out of control freight train. We're in a tunnel with nowhere to go and it's going to hit us like a ton of bricks if we aren't prepared to get on board. This article is especially for guys and it could save some lives but it's also for ladies who can profit from some insight on the male psyche from one of THEM.

Us guys are often accused by the fair gender of lacking sensitivity or romance but we usually think it's a bad rap. Or is it? We can often act or appear insensitive or unromantic while being totally clueless about it. Our wiring and programming often work against us as we interface with our girlfriends and wives. We are capable of being sensitive and romantic but we too often fail to express such notions. My goal here is to help guys transcend their wiring and programming by providing a simple "external gender interface device." Unless you happen to like the dog house or couch, I suggest you read on to learn how you might avoid such habitats. I will show you how to embrace Valentine's Day.

All images in this article are mine unless otherwise specified.

(Avoiding The Dog House)

In order to understand the significance of Valentine's Day, it's important to understand that guys and girls are wired or programmed in different ways. We tend to view things a little differently and we also tend to respond to stimuli differently because we have slightly different operating systems. This difference is not a bad thing; it allows us to complement each other when we form healthy relationships. However the differences become problematic when we fail to recognize the differences or allow ourselves to be entirely program driven. The human heart is the override button that allows us to transcend our programming for a successful gender interface. The problem is that, while the heart is the override button, the brain is the control center for the heart. The brain must intelligently communicate with the heart in order for the heart to operate appropriately.

This article is too short to try to go into all the differences between male and female operating systems but I can generalize to say the male operating system tends to be objective oriented while the female operating system tends to me more relational and global. For example, if a male has an objective of building a bird house, he locks on that goal and moves in that direction ignoring external stimuli until his objective is accomplished. If, while working on his bird house project, his wife prepares a wonderful candlelight dinner with his favorite food there could be trouble in Mayberry. She's thinking in terms of candlelight, a shared meal, relationship and intimacy. He's thinking in bird house terms; saws, hammers, paint and where are the band aids. She asks him if he liked the meal and he says, it's a little dark but the meal was great except the squash was a bit soft, "thank you." She says "fine" and tears begin to flow. The husband is baffled and the wife is crushed. He thinks, "She asked and I told her it was a great meal except for the squash." She thinks, "I created an intimate meal to share and he destroyed the event." For him it was all good except the squash and for her the whole occasion was destroyed. For him the candles and squash were separable components of a great meal and for her the squash and candles were inseparable components of an intimate occasion.

This is a short and over simplified explanation of the differences between male and female operating systems but it does illustrate how they can come into conflict. The objective here is to enlighten the male mind that controls the heart that can override the male default operating system. I'm here to tell you that you can have both your bird house and a romantic intimate meal with your wife. Valentine's Day should forever more be a reminder on how to make it work.

(Get on Board or Get Run Over)

I believe that we humans were created to be relational creatures. We are to have relationships with each other and with God. The male-female relationship is part of God's special creation but it can be damaged or less than it was meant to be if we don't protect and nurture it or vioate the God-given context for the relationship.

Guys, we have the ability to act in intimate and relational ways without surrendering our man-card. The key is to engage the brain to communicate with the heart in order to override our default madle operating system. When this happens we can easily engage in or even initiate intimate and relational activities. If you are dating or courting a lady, your default operating system is bypassed through the heart and you can easily think of and even long for candle light dinners, gifts, and long intimate conversations with that special someone. The problem is that in long term relationships and marriage we can forget our mind-heart connection and fall back on our default male operating system.

Valentine's Day is an annual reminder and opportunity for you to assess the status of your operating system and reset the mind-heart link. Life can be terribly daily and if we neglect our special relationships, trouble will follow. Men, we tend to be objective oriented, so let Valentine's Day remind you to make your special lady and your relationship with her your objective.

Godiva Chocolates

(It's Not Just a Gift)

A gift for your special lady on Valentine's Day is more than a gift or an obligation. It's a symbol of something shared between your heart and hers. It may be a physical object like jewelry, flowers, a card or candy but it's objective evidence of hearts in relationship. In my opening paragraphs I said I was going to provide guys with an "external gender interface device." Here it is, that external device is a physical gift representing internal commitment to a valuable relationship. That gift tells her she is valuable to you and when given in good faith it will likely benefit you both.

So now that we understand the importance of a Valentine's gift, what kind of gift should you choose for your special lady? I've mentioned cards, flowers, jewelry and candy and any of these or some combination may be worth considering. My advice is that you listen for clues. If you are attentive she may tell you directly or indirectly what she likes. In my case, I've found that a card with candy or flowers are well received. I don't eat much candy but my wife loves chocolate so much we call it "vitamin C" at our house. This makes it easy for me when it comes to choosing an external gender interface device aka, a Valentine's gift.

Following are some gift ideas for you to consider.