Memories And Blossoms.
Hello one and all ;today's hub comes from my heart !!
Over the past three years on here I have now and again shared the grief of losing my sister Val, then ten years later my beautiful baby; my youngest daughter Erin.
By today I also love to share my wonderful memories as well as tall he love and beauty that both of them still bring to my days.
Erin passed over on April 4th 2009 and if I had had an inkling that this was going to happen I would have imagines myself slipping into a deep depression ;not being able to cope at all.
However one way and another we do cope ;all of us in different ways and we should never tell anyone else how to cope because this is such a deeply personal process.
When I came to terms with losing my lovely sister Val in 1999 I somehow found the strength to leave my abusive marriage of 26 years. Val as well as being a very talented musician was also a truly beautiful person and I will always believe that she was with me and gave me strength to a very difficult time .
Uncannily Erin had also inherited the beautiful singing voice of her Aunty Val and I know today that they are two beautiful angels singing up in heaven. I know that the beauty which I see all around me tells me clearly that they are both with me as caring as ever.
I have a strong spiritual faith and this has deepened over the past few years. Two of my daughters have been to see a medium and Erin came through strongly and they try to persuade me to go too. However my inner being tells me I don't need to as I know they are with me ;I know they are both free of pain and also want me to share their memories forevermore.
The song I have chosen today is one we played at Erin's funeral and at the start I could not listen to it , but over time this has become so much easier and I now enjoy listening to this version by Beyoncé.
Back at the end of 2009 I opened a trust fund in Erin's name with our only Children's hospice her in Wales Ty hafan and have raised over £4,000 since. 'Erin Jones Friend Of Ty hafan ' can only grow from strength to strength. Erin loved babies and little children so this was the best way to cherish her memory.
Erin and Val's garden with some of the image I have created using the Rock Rose.
Also as many of you know we have planted a mini garden on our patio consisting of Hebe, Azalea , Forest Flame and a Rock Rose .
The Rock Rose quickly took the stage as a leader and soon over shadowed the other three plants ;this is why the first book of poems I had published was called 'My Beautiful Rock Rose'. Erin always had to be the star of her show. She had such a vibrant personality and at times when I am sad I can hear her voice "Goodness me mam get a grip !!!"
Of course we have to cry and feel sadness but there is also love and beauty surrounding us all. At time it may be a little more difficult to find than others.
Today I have three very important words etched in my heart.
I accept what has happened .
I expect there to be times of sadness.
No matter how sad I may feel I also appreciate all the happiness and beauty that surrounds me .
Today's poem I hope is a trail of my journey since losing loved ones up to the present day.
I can remember feeling so guilty if I laughed or was enjoying myself but we have to remember that our loved ones would not want us to be sad.
I hope I have captured this in both images.
Let the laughter and beauty into your heart once again.
This is what they wish for us.
When each dawn is dark
spirits bleak and low;
Grasping in the dark
for that guiding hand
to tell you where to go
Bruised emotions
so coldly leap
from moments so high
hurtling to way down deep.
The sunshine's gone
the clouds apprehend
but fight your way along
determinedly to the end.
fight to the end
a promise of bright dawns
a strong guiding hand
just round the bend.
How we change
to find strength anew;
follow each lead
this could be you.
A songbirds tune
shows you the way
darkness cast aside
to find a new today.
The beauty a flowing
each promise anew
In the sunshine and blossoms
I see my loved ones too.
To cast away darkness
allowing beauty to stay
Here are my loved ones
forever and a day.
My Little Angel Flying On A Star
I looked out on a starry night
to see an angel flying high
a beauty beyond
a breathtaking smile
a heart a-glowing.......................
x
I know it is you
My dear sweet baby.
I know it's you
My heart so happy.
x
I looked out on a starry night
to see an angel
glowing
on the brightest star of all
sprinkling her
love
sharing her compassion
her pose so wondrous
her love eternal.....................
x
I know it is you
My dear sweet baby.
I know it's you
My heart so happy.
x
I looked out on a starry night
to see an angel
looking after
each heavenly babe
her heart for all
her care neverending.........................
x
I know it is you
My dear sweet baby.
I know it's you
My heart so happy.
x
I looked out on a starry night
to see an angel
I blew her an angel kiss
which tenderly floated upwards
and landed with all the others
on her dainty angel wings....................
x
I know it is you
My dear sweet baby.
I know it's you
My heart so happy.
x
I will always look out on a starry night
to see my angel
sprinkling her love
as she flies around
on the most beautiful
and
brightest star of all................................
x
I know it is you
My dear sweet baby.
I know it's you
My heart so happy.
Source: Eddy
My sweet sweet baby
On those tender angel wings
Always in my heart.
Beautiful baby
Forever deep in my heart
So strong our love.
Below I am sharing some of the many collages I have made; each one created from the beautiful blossoms we grow in pots on our patio .
I end with the three words which have and continue to ease my heartaches at the times when sadness come rushing through and so often with no warning at all.
Today I have three very important words etched in my heart.
I accept what has happened .
I expect there to be times of sadness.
No matter how sad I may feel I also appreciate all the happiness and beauty that surrounds me .
Here's to wishing you all a wonderful weekend and lots of love from Wales.
Eddy.
