33 Hilarious Words for Stuff to Do: Bargain Hobbies for Your Spouse
What's the Deal?
We get tickled when we hear unusual words, either in sound or meaning. To compile this list, we combed dictionaries and popular culture for the quirkiest, most unusual pursuits we could find. Then we cherry-picked the definitions we use. After that, we wrote some amusing and/or absurd sentences to reinforce or possibly confuse our readers. We top in all off with a nasty, dastardly quiz over said tickling words.
We invite you to learn our list, take our quiz if you feel it, and leave us some more hobbies and occupations in the comments. Also, if your cousin, Bob, does this strange thing you all call a whatsis in family language, spell the whatsis out as well as you can and tell us about it, too.
We have a cousin Bob, and we have seen him do many, many things.
"I am, by calling, a dealer in words: and words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind."
The Occupations and Hobbies
Beetle fighting: Because apparently exploiting cocks, people, and dogs wasn’t creepy- crawly enough, beetle fighting was invented. Some folks even breed the beetles just for the purpose. We say peace on Earth and enough with the fighting.
Bindle stiff: BIN-dul-stiff is a hobo, especially one who carries his clothes or bedding in a bundle.
Boniface: BAH-nuh-fuss is the proprietor of a hotel, nightclub, or restaurant.
Bootlegger: bo͞ot′lĕg′ er is a person who makes a living making, selling, or transporting alcoholic liquor for sale illegally. As with smugglers and pirates, this occupation is not recommended as it is not a lifetime fitness opportunity like bowling or swimming where you may be able to practice and play for a lifetime in the free world.
Carney: car knee is a person employed by a carnival.
Caver: noun kā′vər, even dumber than the spelunker is the caver because while spelunkers go underground into sometimes unexplored caves for kicks and recreation, the caver scubas through bodies of water s/he may encounter while spelunking. In fact, these crazy flippedy-jibbets look for caves with underground bodies of water to explore.
Cinematographer: A photographer who operates a movie camera.
Competitive Duck Herding: we think this one explains itself. We’d like to know how the ducks feel about it. See Beetle Fighting. And also, do we have to?
Yeah, really. And it makes sense, if you think about it.
Curling: have you seen this done? Please watch our video below immediately! The first time most people see curling, they think it is a skit from Saturday Night Live. Like stone skipping, in curling a stone is slide, but in curling the water is frozen. While individuals skip stones, curling is done as a team.
Oh, It's Real
Extreme Ironing: verb ik-STREE-muh ī′ər-nĭng we simply call this a chore, but extreme ironing practitioners iron especially difficult pieces of cloth in harsh conditions such as mountaintops and believe it is a hobby. We say, to each his own, but at our house, ironing is viewed as a punishment.
Extremophile: noun ik-STREE-muh-fyle is an organism (or person) who lives under extreme environmental conditions, such as in a hot spring or ice cap.
Farrier: a fair ee r does not farm ferrets but shoes horses.
Flim Flam Man: a flem fl ehm man is a confidence trickster who runs swindles involving resources, in which the victim's trust is won by the swindler. Interestingly, the shortened form of confidence trickster is “con man.”
Geocaching: yes, Gee oh kash ing is really a word and really an allegedly super-fun hobby. Geocachers find things using technology. If you don’t believe us, click here to get started gathering up stuff.
Gnome Collector: a lot of us are a little guilty of being gnome collectors. Gnomes are those charming squat men in the garden. They are believed to be garden helpers. Click Here to contact a gnome reserve functioning as sanctuary for runaway gnomes fleeing forced garden labor.
The Real Gnome Collector
If I had to be married to one of these hobbyists, it would be the
Gnome, Gnomes, Gnomes
Gnome Collecting: Well, we have proof, you see. We also have gnomes, many gnomes, so we are qualified as gnome collectors ourselves, not to brag or anything.
Granger: a g’rain ger is a person who operates a farm, also sodbuster, farmer and husbandman.
Haberdasher: hăb′ər-dăsh′ər is a dealer in men's furnishings.
Kapellmeister: kuh-PELL-mye-ster is the director of a choir or orchestra.
Maltster: mɔːltstə is a person who makes or deals in malt.
Marionetteer: măr′ē-ə-nĕt′teer is a person who operates a jointed puppet manipulated from above by strings or wires attached to its limbs.
Newsraiding: verb nuz rad ing, as far as we can tell is a hobby practiced only by one man in the UK, Paul Yarrow, who makes it a point to appear as a bystander in news stories. No one sees this hobby becoming popular.
Pedagogue: pĕd′ə-gŏg′ is someone who educates young people.
Pusher or Tool Pusher: On drilling rigs, the pusher’s job is akin to a general manager. It seems an opportunity for at least an epic misunderstanding.
Revivalist: rĭ-vī′və-lĭst is one who promotes a religious revival. We’re referring to the fire and brimstone, snake-handling, tent-type Revivalist because we like the nitty gritty.
Roughneck: rŭf′nĕk′ is usually defined as a cruel and brutal fellow, with synonyms of yobo, bully, hooligan, rowdy, ruffian, yob and tough, but a roughneck is also any of the workers found on an oil drilling rig excluding the driller, and including the derrick hand, and floor hands.
Roustabout: rous′tə-bout′ is a laborer employed for temporary or unskilled jobs, as in an oil field, the circus, or a deck or wharf laborer, especially on the Mississippi River.
Spelunker: spĭ-lŭng′kər is one who explores caves chiefly as a hobby, also potholer, speleologist.
Stone skipping: we think you probably know what it is and have done it countless times without realizing you were engaging in a hobby. Au contraire. The record for skipping stones is 51 skips. Since we find this unbelievable, here is video proof.
Suing: so, it turns out that a guy named Jonathan Lee Riches is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as having filed the largest number of lawsuits, technically turning something most of us dread into a hobby, according to Kaplaninternational’s blog. Incredibly, he has filed at least sixteen lawsuits targeting an eclectic list of defendants including I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, Buddhist Monks and Three Mile Island.
Toy Voyaging: we don’t recommend this one for the mildly bored. Only the extremely bored should attempt this hobby sending toys on vacation. We think the toy voyagers should hook up with the Gnome Collectors.
Tree shaping: yes, forming trees into shapes as they grow is considered a hobby. Click here to read more about it. We think it is just a type of gardening, but we know the people who actually do these hobbies and occupations take them seriously even if we can’t.
Xylography: zye-LAH-gruh-fee is the art of making engravings on wood especially for printing.
Yegg: yĕg is one that breaks open safes to steal, a safecracker.
Vocabulary Words Practice
Memory is stronger when it is illustrated with images and stories. As you read through these sentences, try to use some sensory detail such as taste, smell, touch, sound, internal dialog, or vision that evokes a vivid response for you. Tie the vivid detail to the story of the word’s definition.
- My brother-in-law is a super famous beetle-fighter because he is legendary in his own mind and literally fights beetles against beetles. Really.
- My brother-in-law is not a bindle stiff because he doesn’t have enough stuff to fill a bundle nor the energy, he says, to carry it around on his back. Also, he cannot commit to be a hobo fulltime due to issues in his last relationship, sometime in the 80’s.
- One time, my brother-in-law had a job as a boniface, but he drank so much of the liquor he never made much money at it.
- My brother-in-law once helped some carneys set up rides at the county fair, but he allowed it was a lot of work in hot weather and declined their kind offer of employment.
- One summer I tried to talk my brother-in-law into going caving because I really wanted to get rid of him. He said he would never go in a cave and then swim through some cave water, even with air tanks. Later, I called it spelunking and tried to entice him again. He just cussed me.
- When my brother-in-law was a cinematographer, he said they arrested him for pornography due to the licentious acts he was filming. So much for that job.
- Yesterday, my husband got my brother-in-law a job, but he said he was holding out for an entry level competitive duck herding position where he thinks he will really shine.
- Curling is my brother-in-law’s favorite sport because he thinks you only do it at the Olympics every four years, and that is how he likes his exercise, infrequent and free of exertion.
- When I suggested extreme ironing to my brother-in-law as a possible hobby, he said I would do anything to get out of housework and get him off my couch.
- My brother-in-law knew an extremophile once, but said the guy went around saying, “everything in moderation” and asking, “who wants to grow in salt or ice?”
- My brother-in-law is afraid of horses, so we don’t think he would make a good farrier, either.
- Flim Flam man is not my brother-in-law’s favorite nickname because he feels he is better than just a common crookedy conman due to his post doc work at the penitentiary.
- Geocaching has been vetoed as a hobby for my brother-in-law because he doesn’t like to gather stuff up or use technology.
- We don’t know if my brother-in-law was a real gnome collector because all he would do was steal little fat man statues from his neighbors’ yards at night.
- My brother-in-law hates sodbusters and all other types of grangers because he doesn’t like to get dirty or shovel stuff.
- Selling men’s stuff to men sounded easy, but that was before my brother-in-law got the job at as a haberdasher.
- The part of the job description about directing the choir or orchestra did appeal to my brother-in-law, but being a Kapellmeister, he later learned, requires one to stand up for extended periods, so he knew it wasn’t the job for him.
- Some maltsters at the bar tried to hire my brother-in-law as an apprentice, but he said he just liked to enjoy the things malt makes more than to actually labor over malt.
- My brother-in-law says he doesn't want to become a professional marionette or marionetteer either, because he has already been married.
- Newsraiding was probably my brother-in-law’s least favorite hobby choice since it would involve not only getting up from the couch, but subsequently would then involve, in rapid order, leaving the house, finding some news happening in the moment, and jockeying around until you manage to get filmed in the background of a newscast. He said, if he had a lifetime, maybe.
- Pedagogues make my brother-in-law angry because that is what happens to him when anyone tries to teach him anything.
- When Grandma suggested he get a job as a tool pusher, my brother-in-law started crying. He allowed he had an undiagnosed phobia of oil drilling rigs, and oil exploration entirely, which was complicated by an inability to manage more than two things simultaneously.
- My brother-in-law says his true avocation is to be a revivalist because he has several messages for us from God.
- My brother-in-law was a roughneck working on a drilling platform for the best part of an hour one time.
- When my brother-in-law was a roustabout, he felt as if he were allowed to be in the circus without having a special talent since he helped erect the tents but did not perform, nor did anyone want him to do any of his tricks.
- Spelunkers frighten my brother-in-law so badly that he can’t even think about exploring even just the mouth of a cave, much less going inside.
- If there was money in skipping stones across water, and you could earn that money in the shade, then my brother-in-law could become a wage-earner.
- My brother-in-law claimed that repeatedly suing people for all manner of minor things used to be a job more than a hobby since people did try to make a living at it.
- Toy voyaging, with all the toys and trips and paying attention, doesn’t appeal to my brother-in-law.
- I thought I was just tree shaping the neighbors’ trees and topiary for fun and exercise until I found out my brother-in-law was getting paid for my work!
- My brother-in-law is most likely a xylographer although he calls himself a wood engraver.
- We aren’t supposed to talk about the old times when my brother-in-law, the original yegg, cracked safes, left the house sometimes, managed a lot of things, and pursued a criminal career
Hopelessly Hard Quizview quiz statistics
Do remember that to retain the meaning of the words for future use, you should return to this list and re-take the quiz again in 3-4 weeks. Spaced learning that is reinforced at longish intervals will stick deepest in your memory. Grind study, like rote memorization and excessive drilling of study material over a short period of time not only doesn’t allow your brain to retain any information long-term, it creates a temporary false sense of efficacy over the material. Not knowing what you don’t know is the worst possible learning outcome, so avoid it (Dweck).
As always, we have enjoyed writing for you. Drop by anytime. We’ll leave the site on for ya!
Works Cited or Consulted
Dweck, Carol S. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Penguin Random House, 2016. Paperback.
http://www.occupationsguide.cz/en/abecedni/abecedni.htm. n.d. Website. 13 February 2018.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comfit. n.d. Website. 8 December 2017.
https://www.kaplaninternational.com/blog/fun-facts-unusual-hobbies. n.d. Website. 15 February 2018.
"https://www.urbandictionary.com/." 28 July 2018. https://www.urbandictionary.com/. Webpage. 1 July 2018.
thefreedictionary.com. 6 september 2017. Website. 6 september 2017.
Webster's New World Dictionary. New York: Warner, 2016. Print.
www.dictionary.com. 15 September 2017. Website. 15 September 2017.
That's Professor Weirdo To You
Do you know someone who practices an unusual or downright funny hobby or occupation? If so, out them here in the comments, please, so we all get a chance to appreciate more types of entertainment and endeavor.