ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

3rd Miracle: Solutions

Updated on January 14, 2010

When friendship doesn't work

Things sure had gotten quiet around here since Peter and Nora Johnson moved away. “Flowing downstream with the depression, it’s easier that way,” Pete had remarked when Truman caught him in the act of putting up a “For Sale by Owner” sign.

Come to think of it, hadn’t the loneliness started long before then? Wouldn’t one have to conclude that his current state of solitude was an outer manifestation, because years ago he had chosen to live this way? So far away from it all. Why had he done this, if not based upon a semi-conscious wish to isolate himself? Many people suffocated slowly from suburban drudgery; it wasn’t uncommon to dream about a comfortable life in the sub-divisions, only to be disappointed. But Truman had gone a long step further by settling down on the edges of an insignificant village.

A self-proclaimed lover of nature and aesthetics, he believed that these qualities had been decisive for his choice. Although the friends he had left behind took note of his values, they found his arguments unconvincing, because they associated such a young person - he had been 34 at the time - with something outgoing and ambitious. 

The truth? He was rather shy. His shyness felt like a heavy coat he could only take off while working. Then he was outgoing and attentive, playing a role which made him feel sure of himself. But when the day’s work was done, he became himself once again and instinctively turned inward.

“Self-pity can actually be a good thing, because it mobilizes your inner powers and resources,” the therapist said. “But you’ve got to carry on. Don’t let it stick, do not dwell upon the past.”

Truman nodded because he had read something similar in the discussion forums, but no one had yet given an answer to his next question.

“Move on, but to what? The fact is I have no friends. Larger-than-life Peter Johnson was all I ever needed, and now he’s gone. So what should I do?”

“Take a break with the friendship thing,” the psychiatrist suggested. “You’ve better find someone who cares for you more deeply, a girlfriend, then she can help you build a larger circle of friends.”

“I've had enough of friendship for the time being. I mean, Peter and Nora just packed up and left, I haven’t heard from them since. No one is to be trusted, not when push comes to shove.”

“Maybe you expected too much,” the psychiatrist said. “Nice people sometimes let others down when they are struggling, and times are tough right now. Besides, what do you think friendship is for? It’s not the same as love, friendships between grown-ups are more situation-specific. Why sit around your house and be lonely when you could be having fun with your new girlfriend?”

Truman shrugged. “I suppose. I’d just expected something more from Peter after all these years, something deeper.”

“Try love,” the psychiatrist went on. “Friendship and love are like food and water. You can go without food and friends for quite awhile, but you cannot live very long without water and love. The friendships can wait, they’ll come down the road, first go out and find your true love.” 


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)