It's All Geek To Me...

This is, to some degree, a confession. I am that person with the iPad, that sits in Buckstars coffee emporium, hoping that people will notice how incredibly cool I am.

I may be the overweight, over fifty, guy in the Hawaiian shirt and graying beard, and as far from cool as Death Valley, but I have the latest techno thing, and am, thus, by osmosis, as cool as Steve Jobs. Hey, it may be a little sad but it works for me.

My latest toy was a gift from an amazing group of people, which adds to its value, but I have been a computer fruit fan since Apple met Mac. Somewhere in the garage sit various iterations of personal computers, from the classic with pre-color screen, dot matrix printers, and, I am the proud owner of an original click screen iPod (which still works!) and every other version since.

I don't know if it is the image, or the store, or the packaging, but you have to admit Apple cornered the market on cute. Now if something spends as much time with you as these electronic friends, it really needs to be cute. Sure, you might be the person who deliberately picks the ugly dog at the pound, but most of us fall for the doe-eyed puppy.

Cute has power over our heartstrings. Think honestly about your purchases, you went for practical and functional? Really? It is a fact that cars are bought by people who like that they have anthropomorphic happy faces. We'd all be driving different cars if we did it completely by logic. No, we go for looks, for color, for cup holders, but mostly we go for the image we think it portrays.

Advertisers know this and feed our need for luxury brands, with the hint of a suggestion that we deserve it somehow. Practical, says you buy the top of the line Toyota Avalon, however, you accept the bottomless of pit of debt in order to own the Lexus.

I may fancy myself as the pithy observer of life, but I am hopelessly adrift in this particular area. My weakness is whatever gizmo Steve says I need. I remember going into the technology temple at the local mall, with a very clear idea that the iPad was completely unnecessary in my life. I had a great laptop, the latest iPhone, what more could one want?

Then I picked it up. It felt so right, and that bright shiny screen coyly saying "touch me you big lug", so I did. And it worked, and I could do cool stuff, and it was extraordinarily cute. Time from “not need” to “need”, about one minute.

So, I guess I'm an addict. I lacked the finances to immediately purchase the little beasty, and I lacked the courage to explain to the human love of my life, why my credit card took yet another hit. So I waited.

Yes, good things come to those who wait. At the celebration of my "retirement" from the salt mines, my team, not large by any means, clubbed together to give me this new baby. Actually, they gave me someone else's to open and play with, but the real new baby came within a week, and the bonding began immediately.

Now I opened in the manner of a confession, so full disclosure is due. I'm sitting in Buckstars at this very moment, typing, confessing and drinking a skinny vanilla latte (not working as a diet plan btw) before I head off to the temple of technological fruitiness to buy a protective jacket for the baby.

I will not check out the new iPhone

I will not check out the new iPhone

I will not...

If you enjoy this hub, please check out my book,

Homo Domesticus; A Life Interrupted By Housework,

A collection of my best writings woven into a narrative on a very strange year in my life.

Available directly from:

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/homo-domesticus/12217500

Chris