7 More Tips for Interviewing
In honor of how cyclonically exhausted I am, here is a list of words I made during what I ascertain to be a journalistic class I had sometime between now and 2011. Enjoy!
1. Compliment the mayor on how shiny his flowing chin blubber is.
2. Always throw your tape recorder at James Cameron whenever he mentions the environment. He'll understand.
3. Don't forget to ask for a tip after interviewing a restaurant customer.
4. "Wild Cherry Life Savers" is the safety word if ever you get in a fight with your supposedly trusty reporter's notebook.
5. Remember that Paris Hilton is an American icon for the same reason the Titanic sank: sadist janitor martians from Cleveland who looks like Tim Burton.
6. The sight of hand-crafted ukuleles being destroyed will always get you an insightful interview with Daniel Day-Lewis.
7. If you accidentally turn into the Hulk during your interview with Donald Trump, don't be afraid to steal a little something something from the office candy jar. That Watermelon Warhead looks pretty enticing, doesn't it?