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7 More Tips for Interviewing

Updated on March 27, 2017

In honor of how cyclonically exhausted I am, here is a list of words I made during what I ascertain to be a journalistic class I had sometime between now and 2011. Enjoy!

1. Compliment the mayor on how shiny his flowing chin blubber is.

2. Always throw your tape recorder at James Cameron whenever he mentions the environment. He'll understand.

3. Don't forget to ask for a tip after interviewing a restaurant customer.

4. "Wild Cherry Life Savers" is the safety word if ever you get in a fight with your supposedly trusty reporter's notebook.

5. Remember that Paris Hilton is an American icon for the same reason the Titanic sank: sadist janitor martians from Cleveland who looks like Tim Burton.

6. The sight of hand-crafted ukuleles being destroyed will always get you an insightful interview with Daniel Day-Lewis.

7. If you accidentally turn into the Hulk during your interview with Donald Trump, don't be afraid to steal a little something something from the office candy jar. That Watermelon Warhead looks pretty enticing, doesn't it?

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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I have GOT to visit Coopersburg. What's in the water?

    • dasamerman profile image
      Author

      dasamerman 6 years ago from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

      To my knowledge, it's not water. I believe it to be very clear, very runny lime Jell-O mixed with a rare Arctic paprika formula. That might explain something.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      As long as it's fluoridated, then I can sleep soundly.

    • dasamerman profile image
      Author

      dasamerman 6 years ago from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

      In that case, sweet dreams.

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