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A Bad Day In Heaven
St. Peter has been standing 2000 years at the Gates of Heaven.
Bored out of his mind - everyday the same thing. He looks at the line of petitioners and it goes on and on and on.
He calls his boss. "I really need a change - there must be something else to look for".
"You have to change your attitude, Peter".
"What?" he said.
"Its quite simple really. All you have to do is be creative. For example, today you let in, without any more questions, those who had a really bad day when they died".
"That sounds interesting, I'll try it." said Peter.
He looks down the huge queue and becons the first one in line ...
Candidate Nunmer 1
The first candidate comes up and Peter explains the new rules for admittance, and this is what he got:
"I really had a bad day. I came home from work, tired, feeling ill and suspecting my wife had been cheating on me."
(Peter mumbles to himself "Well this is different. I am going to like this bad day business").
"Anyway, I got out of the lift as we live on the 8th floor, and walked into our apartment.
Something was wrong so I immediately began searching all over the place. After going through the kitchen, the bedroom, clossets and bathroom I began to feel stupid. Suddenly I got to the balcony and saw a pair of hands grabbing onto the rails.
I leaned over and saw a man in shorts hanging on, so I stamped on his feet and he fell the 8 floors.
I was sure that that was that until I realized is he had landed on some bushes that cushioned the fall. He wasn't hurt.
So I ran into the kitchen carried the fridge and threw it over. This time I didn't miss, but the strain gave me a heart attack - and so here I am".
St. Peter, with a smile on his face let him in.
Candidate Number 2
Along came the next man and was warmly greeted by a smiling St. Peter.
Soon he was telling his story.
"I lived on the 9th floor of an apartment building and this morning while doing some aerobics I tripped and flew over the balcony.
Luckily I managed to grab hold of the railing on the floor below. But then this madman came and stomped on my hands and I fell. I landed on some bushes that saved. As I started to get up I heard a shout so I looked up and saw a fridge hurtling down on to my head and the next thing I know I am standing here on the line."
In fact he looked very much like the chap you just let in.
This time St. Peter couldn't hold back his laughter. After controlling himself he let the man in.
"I am beginning to enjoy this" he said.
Candidate Number 3
The next man soon started his bad day story.
"I'm an ordinary chap, but have to admit I have sinned on occasion. And to tell the truth the last time was this morning and I have a weakness for the ladies".
I have to admit I was having an affair with a married woman but then her husband came back home. I immediately hid in the fridge ..."
With a sever case of the giggles, St. Peter let him in.