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A Baltimore Dillema
Baltimore oh Baltimore...Why are you falling through the cracks of life so...the disillusions of remarkable failings,
Your Succeeding like a championship that has just been lost...your belt has been taken long ago yet you don't even see it taken,
Those once clean streets you call home...now filled with beggars and pennies on the ground below...sweep them up another pill another death,
When will time let you see your callings...your people need you now...the destruction has already been done...the rats roam freely.
When will you learn...the wrath of dismantled religions call everywhere...the people claim the end of the world is near,
You walk the streets and false donations try to make you pay from the burning hole in your pocket...they wish your support for shelters that don't exist,
Maybe if you visit the east side shelters you will see...fells point recklessness...people living in tents...they just want one more chance,
A life they can call theirs...not the wishing they always do for food they never find...maybe scraps...piece of bread here and potato chunk there.
Have you ever walked this city at night...Baltimore spotlights...maybe you haven't because you were afraid of the potential violence,
The opera houses sing from their pits....Mt. Vernon special overlooking Greenmount Avenue killings...please listen,
They are only kids...those killers of .357 caliber...they know only the ghetto streets they've been taught,
Have you checked their GPA...only 1.5 with no chance of 2.0...4.0 doesn't exist anymore anywhere...burn the books they say...make that dollar they do.
Mr. Corporate man...I beg of you to find your kind heart...these people...this city needs you desperately...spend that dollar not on the next skyscraper,
Open a new school...give the communities more money...maybe help make a community cookout,
These citizens don't understand American life outside of their desolation...the hierarchy of going nowhere getting larger...gap is widening,
Make that dollar count corporate business...that gap should shorten...let the city know you care...Help Baltimore understand and fix their Dillema.
Would you be willing to help Baltimore fix their situation if you could?
Comments
- Author
Thank you for your compliment
I wouldn't change anything. You got your point across.
Baltimore desperately needs help.
No problem, BakerRambles! I've lived near Annapolis for the past fifteen years and went to Towson U, so I have spent a lot of time there. Hampden is truly a unique neighborhood as well. And Baltimore has a rich music scene in indie rock and electronic music, especially dubstep. So, you think if we just help out our neighbor more often things will improve?
Barbara Kay, Baltimore has an unbelievable murder rate, hence the nickname "Bodymore Murdaland." There is really something wrong going on there and I'm afraid it will take a lot more than Good Samaritans. At the heart of things, the Feds, who have been focused on funding anti-terror investigation, need to take a look at the homeland and address the systemic problems which plague most American cities. Baltimore needs education reform, of course. BPD needs to be smarter and funded more adequately. In conclusion, haha, I'd say, if you want, re-write those stanzas with images more reminiscent of your second comment. Tell it from your perspective. Show the evil that is there. But show us how it is not all that is there.
- Author
I guess you could be right, but it doesn't matter what city, the fact is that's it's everywhere. I might change it, we'll see where others take it, thank you for the feedback, but try not to curse if you could, just a little common courtesy.
The first four stanzas over dramaticize it. Maybe not delete, but they need a bit more restraint. These are all problems in every city as well. I mean, my boyfriend worked in Milwaukee as a meter reader for the electric company, and the shit he's seen is almost disturbing on a whole different level. For instance (and you can't use this example as it's his and not mine, lol), when doing a route, he saw a woman, dressed as a hooker, with a child in hand. A man stopped and she did the classic hooker lean over, talked to him a minute. As he drove past he audibly heard, "30 dollars. My kid rides in the back." I mean. If you're going to write about the fucked up shit you write, make it hit home, make it hurt.
That's the only reason I don't think the first four stanzas work. They're just too mundane.
- Author
No problem,thank you for commenting
I've never been to Baltimore and didn't realize things are so bad there. I wonder how many other cities are in this shape. Thanks for sharing this with us.
- Author
I lived there for over 5 years, and I've seen a lot of horrible things there, especially in east side, the things you see in alleys, abandonminuims(abandoned houses) and the bus lines are enough for me to plead for people to help make a difference in the community there. But yes there are alot of great things there, fells point, harbor east, federal hill, the historical aspect of it, especially Edgar Allen Poes legacy. There are both good and bad parts to the city, but you have to admit that the communities must help each other get people off the street, raise the graduation rate above 13%, which is completely mind blowing, and help each other raise the employment levels, strive to make a difference. Thank you for your feedback thatch, I do truly appreciate it, have you lived there?
I would like to see ideas you and activists or politicians have. I think too many people have seen the really bad side of Baltimore without ever visiting it. And not enough people know how really great it still is. I think kolb_kristin might have thought the beginning lines, which, for some reason or another, don't fit with the scheme of your hub, may have just seemed out of place and perhaps too much of the usual negative. I'd say play around with the format to anticipate the awkwardness those ads create.
- Author
Why do you think I should change the four stanzas? I do appreciate your feedback though, as I will be adding a few informational hubs about poverty and education reform over the next couple days.
I think you should delete the first four stanzas and just talk about concrete issues throughout the poem. There's some really awesome stuff in here. Especially your bit between the homeless guy's picture and the man with the hose.
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