A Few Years in A Life 2015
“ I do not ask, O Lord that life may be a pleasant Road” -Adelaide Anne Procter
Let me provide you with some back story on my life leading up to the present. I am from a small town in IL. I grew up a farm girl lived the country life for 20 plus years. I have an older sister who lives the good life in the state of Nebraska with her husband and 2-year-old son. I also have a younger brother who still resides in our small hometown with our farming father and his girlfriend; where he is happy playing the farm boy role. Me I live with our mother in a central IL city. As much as we both love the country our current circumstances do not afford us that luxury. But I try to get to the farm when I can to stay in tune with my countryside,
I haven’t always lived with my mother mind you. It started with my parents divorcing just after my high school graduation. While each party was going their separate ways I was starting college at a community school. So I moved with my mother to finish my two years before I left to do two final years at an IL University.
“ Kites rise highest against the wind - not with it.” – Winston Churchill
I am a total plant nerd; I have loved plants since I was young and helped by my mother and grandmother in their gardens. So you are probably thinking, so what, this woman is a geek about plants. Well, that is true and I thought I could make a career of it. So when I attended college and university I majored in agronomy and minored in plant breeding. I thought would connect with mom. I thought that since she had broken out of the norm deciding to go back to school while raising three young children; would somehow connect by breaking through the norm of an agricultural industry being a female in a male-dominated world. I also thought I would have a better connection with my father by better understanding farming and increase the knowledge I had gained from him.
“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan”. -Tom Landry
I didn’t have a real plan for what I would do with my degree. Somewhere along the way, I got this idea that I wanted to help feed the world. I had no idea how I would do it but that became my plan. Until I quickly realized I was not really the kind of person who wanted to leave and go far from home right after college. I am more of a keep to yourself kind of person. I call myself an extroverted introvert meaning I like having my me space but also like getting together with friends and having a good time. So instead of going off into the world of the unknown that scared me, I set my sights on ag research. Research of two world staples to be exact; corn and soybeans after college I got a job at a small research station in East Central IL. I was fortunate enough to be hired as a research tech who would work hands-on in the station with the corn research. I had my own apartment, bills, and a car; the whole single life package. I had a great boss whom I learned a lot from. Thought I was on the right path and things were going great. Then two years into my time with the company I was sat down for my annual review. Things seemed good my work performance was great my boss was pleased with my work then he ended the meeting with we have to let you go. At 25 this was a big blow to me. I thought I had finally figured out what I was supposed to be doing with my life and then I look around and find myself back at square one.
“An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.” –Winston Churchill
I tried for months to get on at another station. I had a career advisor that was even looking into getting me another research position. I kept getting rejected most companies made up some story basically about me having a lack of experience. I guess two years was not enough to earn my stripes in the industry. I was forced to move back home until I could sort things out and get myself back on track. Guess you could say things are kind of getting back on track if I even know what on track is anymore. See I had it easy before I ever had to make a go of it on my own now there is no easy there is only your an adult, time you figure things out on your own. So now I am working a little different avenue to save up money and regain my independence. I am now a landscape maintenance technician instead of a research technician. Basically instead of working with crops like corn and soybeans; I work with ornamental plants in landscape gardens. It’s not a bad job the pay is decent it’s getting me closer to paying off the car I acquired during my last job. The only thing is I am laid off for three months from December to January. That means you get no pay but you can collect unemployment. The problem is that I only started the job in August of this year 2015 and worked until the end of November. With my few expenses I didn’t really save much money like I probably should have. I thought I would be good for three months; which I’m not saying I’m not. It’s just that in my head things were different which they often are. I know I could have gotten a part-time job my family has told me so, but as an extroverted introvert with add who hates change. I haven’t really looked into that avenue. For reasons, I can’t explain to my family let alone myself that option doesn’t compute in my head. I know it all seems dumb, but your young and still figuring things out sometimes you get lost in the what to dos so much you avoid things because you get freaked out I guess is what you would call it.
We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it. -Lauryn Hill
So you are probably saying you have such minor problems. I know my problems are small compared to so many others out there. I am not here to compete with others problems. I am not here to get famous for my troubles and woes. I am just sharing the experiences of an average woman in her mid-twenties. I do not profess to be an expert on life; Lord knows mines not perfect, but then again whose really is. Its the unperfect parts of life that to some can make it all worth it. I have yet to find truth in that last statement but I have read articles from others who have and my only hope is that someday myself and others like me do to.
"I used to wonder if it was God's plan that I should be alone for so much of my life. But I found peace. I found happiness within people and the world." -Lana D
I started writing hubs to share my poetry I wrote as a creative outlet during my parents' divorce I knew my poems may have been cliche or rather cheesy but I didn't care the point was to express myself and de-stress from life's problems. Now here I am six years later and this hub has again become an outlet for during a rough patch. As a kid, I had ADD the milder form of ADHD which meant I would sometimes have trouble focusing throughout my day on the things that needed my attention. Sometimes that can still be an issue but for the most part, I feel as though I have grown out of it. When I write I none of it matters I don't have to focus. I can write as much as I want there are no deadlines to my hubs. I don't have to be recognized but it's nice to think that someone may read this and understand where I am coming from.
To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe. -Anatole France
So I now I enter 2016 not knowing the outcome of the coming year. But I think I may be okay with that for up to this point whenever I have tried to plan ahead it seems to not work out. I am hopeful for a better year we will find out as I go along one hub at a time.