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A GENERATION AG0...by b. Malin
CONFESSIONS OF THE FAMILY...
First, before I start this "little Confession", I sadly acknowledge that none of my Mother's family is alive today, but when they were Young, they were quite the "action" four. In order of appearance, from left to right...Eleanor, Mildred, Beatrice and Herman. My Mother was the "ring leader" of the neighborhood, her Imagination and wit were endless...and so I shall tell you about her. Actually, I mentioned my Mother, and her "Money Tree" when I made Comments on one of JFay's Hubs...So here's the rest of the story.
My mother "Beatrice" was Before her Time in so many of her Ideas...One day, maybe out of boredom, she told all the kids in the neighborhood that she was going to grow "A Money Tree"...and in order to do that, she needed them to collect all their nickels, dimes, quarters, but no pennies, and bring them to the lot on the corner. They were also to bring some kind of a shovel, and she would supervise how far they would have to dig, so she could put the monies in the ground, to grow the tree. She would assign one of them each day, to water the spot, until the tree started to grow. Once grown, it would have leaves made of MONEY! Of course all the kids in the neighborhood, as well as one neighborhood over, brought all their money to Mother, who collected it in a brown paper bag, and lowered into the freshly dug hole. As all the kids cheered in delight...A Happy moment for all.
The next day, when her Mother found out, she waited outside the school for her, and took her home and said, "Beatrice you dig up that money and you give it ALL back, you have embarrassed your father and I greatly". How did my Grandmother find out? She always knew, Always, nothing ever got past her. Yes, Beatrice did as she was told...and was surprised she was not punished further. Later that night after all the kids were sleeping, my Grandparents had a good laugh. That was told to me by my Aunt Mildred, who had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and heard my Grandmother telling my Grandfather the accounts of the day.
One Spring, Mother decided to have a "Contest" and name one Girl in the neighborhood, (are you ready for this?) "QUEEN of the TOILETS"! Why? Well, she did not like this one particular girl at school, who was always making fun of Everyone...She was considered Mean, and the Bully of the neighborhood...The Little kids RAN when they saw her coming. So Mother decided to teach her a lesson. Well she had the contest and even made this girl a "Crown" to wear and a plaque, that looked like a Toilet, with her Name on it and her title "Queen of the Toilets", cut out in Gold Letters. Grandpa owned a Candy, Stationary store, so mother had access to these items.
Well Mother turned it into a whole Ceremony. She talked her brother, Herman into playing his Violin, and Mildred danced, and Eleanor sang a song to the girl, which went something like this.
"You are Queen of the Toilets You are...You are going to go Very Far...With a Crown on your Head, and Toilet paper for a Bed...There isn't much more to be said". and with that she also handed her a Fresh Roll of Toilet paper as part of her prize.
Then my Mother spoke, as she put the Crown on the girl's Head, and handed her the Plaque... she said, "you're a Mean Girl to other kids, and that makes you Ugly, and most worthy of the title, "Queen of the Toilets". Everyone Cheered, as the girl raced down the block to her house... Never to cause trouble in the neighborhood, or at school again.
However, This Time when my Mother got home, Grandma was waiting, with the Paddle!