A Letter to Me
Remembering Self Doubt
At 16, most of us feel like outsiders and believe we are the only ones. It's not until we are much older that we realize how distorted our perception is at that age. Even so, I sometimes find myself falling in the same self doubting trap that held me down at that age. Writing letters is sometimes good for communicating to others about our feelings so I thought I'd write a letter to my sixteen year old self and reread it whenever those old feelings returned. Maybe it will provide me with perspective when I need it . So here is my letter to me from me.
Hi. I know that this letter is arriving durng a very hard time in your life but believe me when I say, it's not the end of the world even though you think it is. You should also be aware that you are not alone, there are people around you who care about you and need you. Although you feel lost and as if you don't belong, you do. You just need to find your place, just like everyone else. Everyone has to find their own place ,in their own way , and in their own time. I can't tell you that life will become easier but I can tell you that the bad times don't last as long as you think but you have to let them go in order to enjoy the good times. That is the best advise I can give, just enjoy the good because it will outweigh the bad in the end.
Holding on to hurt will not make it better, it only makes it bigger. You can't change the past but you can make peace with and learn from those hurts. Hold your head up and let yourself be heard, in twenty years all the people that you think can hold you back will be a just a vague memory and you will be left with missed opportunities and regret. Being invisible doesn't keep you from getting hurt, it only keeps you from experiencing life. Be a player in the game of life not a spectator.Remember that you are as important as everyone else and you have something to offer.
I also want to let you know that you should start at home to find your place because you have a mom that needs you as much as you need her (you do need her,you just tell yourself you don't). Help her out and give her the credit she deserves.
Also sometime very soon you will think of your best friend from elementary school and consider contacting her. Make sure you do it because unfortunately, sometimes too late comes way too soon.
Take care of yourself.
My Adult Self
I won't say that I have completely overcome my self doubt. However I have learned that accepting myself for who I am and striving to be the best me I can, has given me far more satisfaction than the opinions of others ever could. If I had learned that lesson earlier, I could have enjoyed my youth when I was young. Good thing I'm young at heart.