A Revealing Day- Journal Challenge, Day 9
Today was a revealing day and it is only 6:57 a.m. Actually, I’ve been up since 4:00 a.m. and have completed my spiritual practices, so it's not that surprising that God would have some insight for me this early in the day. Today’s revelation was triggered by a text message I read this morning upon awakening. The text was from a number I did not recognize and a man I did not know, but who had started this sporadic exchange yesterday afternoon into this morning. In the text, he called me by name and asked how I was doing. I assumed he knew me because he had spelled my name correctly and knew my number. I figured his was one of the numbers that didn’t transfer over to my new phone, so I asked who he was. He gave me a first name and asked who I was, which I found strange since he initiated the contact and had stated my name. Based on the name given, I thought it was someone I knew from high school that I had exchanged numbers with a couple of years ago at an informal reunion in Atlanta (ATL). This unknown man also called me and left a message. Then, he texted that he did not know what “ATL” was, questioned me about being on any singles’ sites and who I was, said he gets many messages from people he know from various places, and he didn’t recall contacting me. At this point, the red flag that was already up is now waving wildly. I forwarded him the initial text from his number, explaining my disinterest in starting anything with anybody I don’t know, the strangeness of the communication, what I’ve learned and that if we don’t know each other, we should just say bye. His 2:38 a.m. response was, “It appears that ‘your’ either playing a game or your paranoid. Please leave me alone.”
Upon awakening, I read his last text and thought it was strange since he started the communication. I wondered if it was some kind of test from someone I did know, but felt no need to respond or have the last word. Instead, I asked Spirit what the lesson was and what was He revealing to me about myself. What came up is presented below:
My most recent attachment is the determinant change factor in a series of repeat classes to learn the same lesson. I am not the same. No longer do I blindly trust, heart wide open, saying and giving too much without it being earned. I have finally learned to guard my heart and information. But, the learning comes with sadness, a heaviness that feels like a stone lodged in my heart. It *aches. Yet, I am still open and willing to trust as time progresses and the details of the precious, radiant gift that I am naturally unfolds through various modes of communication, time spent together and friendship development. It doesn’t feel so good right now because I don’t remember doing it this way before. However, the way I’ve related in the past, always giving the benefit of the doubt and trusting until given a reason not to, has not served me well. So now, I must do it differently in order to preserve an open heart and manifest my deepest desires. I am not the same. But it’s ok and I’m ok. I will convert the negative aspects into positive energy and channel it for my good. I choose to be better and do better. I walk in the power of the LOVE that I AM and wait for the divine and ultimate relationship God has prepared for me. I experience the joy-filled love fest even now.
In this last day of my 7-day consecration, I surrender my heart and desires to God anew. I go forth in celebration, dressed in purple- my fire walk chosen color of power, royalty and FREEDOM!
NOTE: *The ache in my heart lifted during my Twin Hearts and Self-Pranic Healing Meditation . Write Here, Right Now: 30 Day Journaling Challenge day 9 complete. Thank you, God!
Jo Anne Meekins