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A Story of My Life, Part 8: New Chapter

Updated on October 25, 2011

A Brief Recap

I was attending Albany State University, living in my brother Louie's house, with my sister-in-law Hilda and my three-almost-four-year-old niece, Stephanie.

I had come home from my first date, only to find my brother dissolved in tears on the living room couch. Hilda was pregnant again, and Louie wasn't certain that the child was his. Hilda was in love with somebody else.

Tommy plays a mean PINBALL

The times were changed, in America. It was the late 1970's about 1977, and a decade after the sixties had come and gone. The 1960's brought a major social revolution in the United States. Though by the late 1970's, some attitudes had reverted back to the more traditional nuclear family type hard-working suburban lifestyle, there was still a carry-over from the previous decade.

Tommy still played a mean pinball. (That was a rock opera, "Tommy", by the Who, just in case you missed it!)

We were baby boomers. I was born in 1957. In 1957, the nuclear family structure was the norm, with the father the head of the household, and the mother the mainstay of family life. While Dad was breadwinner and went out into the cold cruel world to fend for himself and his family, and was nominally the boss in his own house, Mom stayed home, baked cookies, deferred to Dad on most issues, and was a prototype for the "Leave It To Beaver" or "Father Knows Best" family image.

Well, not too long after I was born, the Sixties happened. Sex, drugs, rock-n-roll, and a social revolution of no mean proportions. Free love, the pill, "hell no, we won't go" to Vietnam. They Bay of Pigs Invasion. The Cold War, where communism and socialism became dirty words, so of course the youth of America had to try starting communes as a social experiment.

There was a raised social consciousness in America. Equal rights for our black citizens. Equal rights for our women citizens. A poet named Allen Ginsberg started a movement to recognize gay people, and get them out of the closet and into the mainstream.

A lot of our youth tuned in, turned on, and dropped out. Anything went. It was freedom of a sort no country had ever experienced. Freedom and tolerance, love, peace, flower-power. Those were the keywords, the buzzwords, of a generation of very idealistic, very naive American youth.

Until the 1970's, when our youth found out just how uncomfortable poverty is. (I could have told them that!) People discovered there were a lot of things they wanted to buy. A lot of spoiled white kids found out that you really can't live on love alone. Running water and central heating are necessary amenities, and they COST!

With Nixon and Watergate, and getting out of Vietnam, the pendulum was swinging the other way again. People were going to college to improve their chances for a good job afterwards. The pretty suburban boxes their parents aspired to were looking good again, to the nation's youth. People who had rejected their parents' materialistic values did an about-face and turned in the opposite direction.

When Hilda said it was Louie's child, I believed her. I'm not certain Louie did, but I did. She had no real reason to lie. Hilda was the breadwinner in the family. She had a Master's degree and a good job with the State of New York. She was very open about her feelings; she made Louie aware early on that she had become disenchanted with him and she made no bones whatsoever about being mostly in love with Jim. She was a liberated woman. She wasn't a particularly sneaky woman, either. And she should know!

I had another reason to believe her. I had another reason to think her love affair was mostly a matter of the heart and mind, and that she and Jim didn't have a hot physical thing going.

I found out Jim is gay.

Hilda didn't want to get married to Jim. That wasn't what it was all about. I'm not sure Louie ever understood it. Hilda wanted to be free. She wanted to be her own person. She didn't want to be an adjunct to another adult.

People's minds were still more open to alternate lifestyles, back then, though. Especially among the better-educated. So it was taken for granted around the house in Orange Street that no one would cast moral judgements against Hilda for falling in love outside her marriage bond, or against Jim for being gay.

What to do about it, though, that was the question. Louie was head over heels in love with Hilda, and would remain so for the rest of his life (so far). Hilda really wasn't in love with Louie anymore, and wasn't going to pretend to be, though she tried to treat Louie civilly enough. There was the child, Stephanie, to consider, and a new baby on the way.

It was quite a situation. I stumbled through the remainder of the semester. I made myself scarce at Orange Street and stuck grimly to the books. I was relieved, actually, when Christmas break came and I went back to my old country home.

It was a quiet house, out there in the country, with just Mom and Dad. It was as uncomfortable as ever. The upstairs still wasn't heated, and snow was thick on the ground. There was no Christmas tree, as our parents' religion precluded that. Mom was in tears, frequently, still, over my brother Danny's death a year earlier.

Dad was tyrannical, as usual. I discovered I was no longer afraid of him. Some of the starch had gone out of Dad. He was still a grim man, and not friendly to his children; he made us miserable a hundred times a day--THAT hadn't changed. He had become somewhat quieter and lost some of his bluster. He was starting to look old. He was talking of early retirement and moving to Tennessee.

So it was quite a relief to me, when my sister Carole came home for Christmas, bringing Jesus with her.

Jesus, her Hispanic boyfriend, (whose name is pronounced hey-suse), had given Carole a ride out to the old country place, and Mom asked him to stay for dinner.

Mom, at the dinner table, to Jesus: "Your name is JESUS?! Spelled J-E-S-U-S?"

Jesus: "Yes, ma'am."

Mom: "What were your parents thinking?"

Jesus: "Well, ma'am, they're Catholic, you see."

Carole and I smothered our faces in our napkins. We were choking with laughter. I don't know what was funnier, Mom's incredulity or Jesus's cool acceptance of it. It's still an occasion for mirth years later, when we bring it up to each other. Mom didn't have too many opportunities to get off the farm, I guess.

We both started a new chapter in our lives, after that Christmas. It was a turning point, though I didn't realize how much of one for many years.



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    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thank you so much, internet writer. I'm glad you're enjoying this series.

    • Internetwriter62 profile image


      8 years ago from Marco Island, Florida

      I guess even though many things change in the world, some things never change. One thing that never changes is human nature, Hilda will always be foolishly independent, even though she has a wonderful guy like your brother. Jim, who seems to be the object of Hilda's affection is into men. Yet, your parents, even though they had mellowed still remained rather unchanged.

      I guess your childhood home must have seemed nicer, now that you were an adult and had more options, you were no longer at their mercy and could leave if you chose to.

      I really enjoy you story, I'm sure I will enjoy the next chapter.

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thanks, Justine.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      This is great. Really. Its neat to know how it felt to be alive then. What a time!! But then, now is pretty "off" as well? I think your about the same age as my Aunt, my mother's youngest sister. The part that stuck with me, is the sudden realization..Im not afraid anymore....

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Upstate New York

      Ah, Jen, thank you so much for stopping by this story. It's one of my favorites (of my own).

    • Jen's Solitude profile image

      Jen's Solitude 

      8 years ago from Delaware

      Well, I'm at the right spot, and am still laughing over the Jesus/Hey-sus mix up. And yes I agree this one is way too short, but moving on . . . :)

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Upstate New York

      Hmmm....wonder if this comment accidentally got posted to the wrong hub...but thank you, I guess!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I stumbled across this article in Financial Times, Walking all over fashion, and let me quote you espadrilles from the shocking intro:

      [In Rome], apparently, the very latest Air Max Personality Shoes thing is to wear two completely different shoes. Glossy-pictured proof is a red suede mule and a green patent Discount Uggs Outlet pump sold as a set for women or for men, or a boot and a dress shoe in matching brocade.

      The author goes on to argue that this is the new trend in fashion, and quotes and/or invokes a few shoe designers or executives to that end, but I’m not entirely convinced. For example, the only line of shoes that I know to be specifically designed as non-identical are Camper’s ‘Twin’s collection (prominently featured Classic Cardy Boots in this article). But I wouldn’t call these exactly missmatched:

      On the

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thank you Sweetie Pie. Yes, I think so. My goal is one a week for a year, and by the end of that time, I might just have a book. We'll see. Thanks so much for following this story.

    • SweetiePie profile image


      9 years ago from Southern California, USA

      I am enjoying your story so far Paradise. Are you going to be publishing this as a book?

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thank you all for the comments. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Links :-


      Very great efforts & information


    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Your words are so good.My pleasure to introduce uggs to you.

    • scarytaff profile image

      Derek James 

      9 years ago from South Wales

      A very nice hub No.7 Please keep them coming.

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thank you all so much for following my story. I can't tell you what it means to me. I hope it means something to you, as well, to bring back that era and those times, on a personal level.

      I HAD to share the Jesus story. I'm glad you liked it.

      It was my brother's death that changed my dad, as much as Dad was capable of changing. Dad had not a word to say, when being introduced to "Jesus".

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      9 years ago from Georgia

      You always deliver Paradise7! I can't wait to see what happens next time. I was so excited when I was alerted via e-mail that you had written another hub. I raced over to see what you had prepared for us and I wasn't dissapointed.

    • Laura du Toit profile image

      Laura du Toit 

      9 years ago from South Africa

      I can imagine how you must have felt watching Louie trying to come to grips with the fact that Hilda no longer loved him but was carrying their child. The tension in the house must have been terrible. Probably why you felt it was a relief to go home for a while - at least you could get away from Louie's pain. You knew what to expect from your Dad and obviously you had learned to distance yourself from the hurtful things he said whereas how do you stop hurting when you witness someone like Louie being torn up inside - without deserving it.

      Thanks for sharing. Being the same age it was great living through those years again.

    • profile image

      Duchess OBlunt 

      9 years ago

      Paradise, I'm surprised you WANTED to go home for Christmas, but I have to smile at the irony of you spending it with JESUS! Too much! No mention on how your dad took that one. . .

      Anyway, waiting for more just like everyone else!

    • Catherine R profile image

      Catherine R 

      9 years ago from Melbourne, Australia

      As engrossing as ever! Jesus sounds lovely. And I am liking the fact that your dad has lost his bluster.

    • rmcrayne profile image


      9 years ago from San Antonio Texas

      I think my eyes bugged out a little when you said you were going home for Christmas. I was so relieved when you said your dad had lost some of his bluster. An incredible change in just a few months. I suspect it was actually you who changed in such a short time, not him, don't you think? I can almost see the deadpan seriousness with your mom's encounter with Jesus!

    • Paradise7 profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Upstate New York

      Thank you both, Dohn and Poet Lorraine, for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it--see you next Sunday, if not before, on one of YOUR hubs!

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      nice one, i have not got the same message as dohn as i like short and sweet, but what is there is lovely keep going

    • dohn121 profile image


      9 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      My only regret after reading this is that it was too short! I want to hear more! Keep 'em coming, Paradise7! Who wouldn't want to spend Christmas with Jesus??? I mean, it IS the guy's Birthday after all!


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